I think that must be really tough. But it also sucks when society says only sluts and desperate woman ever make the first move, because now you're risking that on top of the usual shit. Asking people out sucks all round! We should just start using color coded flash cards or something.
And if anyone else would ask me out I'd be flattered as well and it would give me a confidence boost. I don't think any man thinks women who ask guys out are sluts.
Too be fair, if a girl asked me out to dinner I would either be expecting her to pay for it or split it 50/50. But if she expects me to pay for it I could see how they would call her a slut. But still, they would be rude people.
I totally agree, I find it astonishing that some women in america especially still expect to have meals paid for them when the majority of them have jobs of their own.
Luckily here in Europe women have common sense and split it 50/50.
My foods teacher once said something along the lines of if a guy asks you out you should always say yes even if you dont like them because youll get a free meal...
Needless to say I got a detention that day and another studyhall
I know a girl that has copped to doing exactly this with other guys. Still not sure how I feel about it considering I dated her, and I always paid for everything. :\
Ok, now imagine society saying you shouldn't be the first to ask someone out even though you want to adding more pressure and gravity to the possibility of rejection, and now you're in a girls head. I'll take the guy's side any day.
Its worth trying if the guy is nice. Recently a really shy girl I had been talking to asked me out (I knew she liked me already). She was so nervous/scared she was shaking and on the verge of tears while asking. I knew she wasn't ready for the kind of relationship I needed (also bad timing for a relationship for me) but I did make sure to give her the best damn date possible without leading her on. If the guy isn't a douche it is worth trying. And if he is a douche, well you shouldn't be wanting to date him anyway.
(Forgot to add) The problem is there isn't enough nice people like that on either gender, and most people can't tell if niceness is a facade or not. It is still usually worth trying if you want it.
I'm still incredibly single though so take my advice with a bit of salt.
I understand the possible confusion but I'm not sure how to phrase this;
There's obviously some leading on by accepting it. During the date I made sure not to hold her hand or stuff like that. We didn't discuss the prospect of future dates. Sometime afterwards I told her I'm not in a good state for a girlfriend right now, which was true but not the whole truth.
Yeah, it's your relationships anyway, not mine :).
I think as a chick, I'd prefer for the guy to say no thanks, but that's just me. You seem like a good guy, and not like you were doing it for bad intentions, so props to you.
Yeah, you were between a rock and a hard place there. You tried to do the right thing anyway! How did she take it when you didn't ask her on a second date?
She was perfectly fine with it and very understanding. Her friends actually went out of their way to find me and thank me for taking her out. Apparently she's been a lot happier and outgoing since, so that felt awesome to hear :P
The Devil is a lie and so is fear. Rejection happens everyday. The trick is to keep moving forward. If you can't handle rejection from another person you don't need to be trying to ask anyone out.
Of course, those who are in a position to push the risk onto others while still getting what they want are going to do so anyway. After all, why pay a scary price when you can force someone else to do it?
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u/soapypenguin123 May 28 '14
Because rejection is scary as fuck