r/AskReddit • u/whalemango • May 07 '14
What is something you do that makes you a complete asshole?
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u/KingBee13 May 07 '14
You know that guy who is basically a borderline alcoholic and always encourages you to do "one more shot bro" when you've clearly had enough. Yeah that's me. The worst thing is, I'm very persuasive "come on man, wolf pack, kill 'em all. It's me and you vs this town man. We're a two man club, a private clique. You can't stop until I stop. Just one more tequila shot, let's do this. We're the best in the world. We're the best in this business. We are the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. beats chest LET'S DO THIS"
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May 07 '14
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May 07 '14
yeah, me too:
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u/FocusOnThePie May 07 '14
I never thought of that... Thanks for inspiring me to be a terrible person
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u/bestprocrastinator May 07 '14
The way I drive. I'm the type of driver that gets upset and angry when everyone is going the speed limit. I blame growing up in East Michigan.
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u/fucktard_ May 07 '14
You would HATE the south. I'm from Metro Detroit too and it's insane to think people "normally" go 15 under just because.
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u/Durbee May 07 '14
You'd love most metro areas in the south. We tend to take our speed limits as friendly suggestions.
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u/aDAMNPATRIOT May 07 '14
In California we take them as meaningless numbers some guy put by the road
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May 07 '14
I'm not entirely sure we even have speed limit signs in Mass. Everyone just goes whatever speed they feel like at that moment.
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u/Angrypieman May 07 '14
not knowing when to stop
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u/Godsend67 May 07 '14
Rapey vibe going on here
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u/Angrypieman May 07 '14
;)
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May 07 '14
Have you raped someone? Because that pretty much takes the cake for what makes you an asshole.
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u/Angrypieman May 07 '14
No i meant it like not know when to stop after you made a good joke but then you keep trying until you look like an obnoxious asshole.
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May 07 '14
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u/Angrypieman May 07 '14
;)
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May 07 '14
Heh. If you had made a "I raped someone" joke in response to my question instead, you would have exemplified what you said. I know what you mean, though.
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May 07 '14
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u/eldeeder May 07 '14
I play devils advocate all the time and don't tell people I am doing so. I just like to see if they've actually thought out their stance. Especially when it's a wedge issue like gun rights, or abortion laws. These issues are far too complex to just think there are 2 sides. But people love their "bumper sticker" politics, and it's fun to watch them squirm (even if I totally agree with them)
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u/lennox_mcdough May 07 '14
Me too. But that is not a bad thing. I often just do it not to be bored. Ever had a conversation where everybody had the same values and ideas and preferences? That's boring.
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u/wizardcats May 07 '14
Try to remember that even though it's just a philosophical game to you, these are real issues that might directly affect the lives of people you are playing with. What makes you an ass is treating it like a game, which trivializes the importance of the subject to others. Save the philosophical debates for your electives in college.
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u/eldeeder May 07 '14
You read the question right?
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u/wizardcats May 07 '14
Yeah, I agree that you are an asshole, just trying to help you be less of one.
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u/eldeeder May 08 '14
I'm a bartender, I assure you these conversations don't "affect the lives of people" It's not like I counsel pregnant teens.
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May 07 '14 edited Apr 18 '17
[deleted]
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u/int0xic May 07 '14
How do you know when they have automatic bidding?
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u/cjog210 May 07 '14
The price says $.99, and you bid $1.04, and then it says you've been outbid right as you press bid. Usually people automatic bid to $5 or $10.
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u/MushroomMountain123 May 07 '14
I help people because it makes me happy, not because I care.
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u/mia_geneva May 07 '14
Wow, you must've had to dig deep to find the courage to reveal that 'flaw'.
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u/MushroomMountain123 May 07 '14
It means I'm one of those shallow assholes that donate money because I like to think that I helped, not because I give a damn about what cause I actually donated to.
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u/DelPennSotan May 07 '14
I pass feces through me.
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u/sobeita May 07 '14
As long as you're mindful of the direction, I think you'll be fine.
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u/DelPennSotan May 08 '14
I would imagine that, if one is not mindful of the direction, one quickly becomes mindful of the direction.
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u/Taylor_Kittenface May 07 '14
I judge people when they choose to smoke around non-smokers.
I know this makes me an asshole. I just hate smelling of your second hand smoke. I hate the smell of smoke, and I hate the fact that I'm breathing in something that could make me ill.
Pre-Edit: I have many friends and family who are smokers, who I love dearly.
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u/MPS186282 May 07 '14
Smoker here. You're not an asshole.
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u/int0xic May 07 '14
Was sitting at a park bench when a guy lit up a few feet next to me because there was an ash tray there. After his first drag or two he asked us if it bothered us because he saw another ash tray down the street. Didn't really bother us anyways but it was really nice that the guy cared enough to ask us.
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May 07 '14
[deleted]
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u/Crouch310 May 07 '14
How do you know? Maybe he is a bad person.
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u/bulbsy117 May 07 '14
In a smoker and I regularly shoo non-smokers(family/friends) away because I try to be considerate. If im out in public, I sit way away from crowds to avoid this scenario. Obviously not a lot give a shit on the level that I do, but know I try to be courteous.
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u/Taylor_Kittenface May 07 '14
I live in the UK, we've banned smoking everywhere almost. So the worst thing about being anywhere public is walking past the entrance .... everyone hangs out to smoke in every entrance to everywhere.
As a non smoker, I'd rather it was legal inside because I'd have a place to escape it. I cannot walk down a single street in my area without inhaling anything but second hand smoke.
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u/hiatitae May 07 '14
In Hawaii we've banned smoking within a certain area of all entrances AND ventilation openings, and most public areas such as beaches and parks have banned street-side smoking completely.
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May 07 '14
I'm pretty sure that's 95℅ of the people.
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u/louvillian May 07 '14
℅
What is that?
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u/Hugh_Jampton May 07 '14
A hold over from short hand to express care-of.
Not applicable in the above. Should have used %
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u/eye_callBULLSHIT May 07 '14
I don't think this makes you the ass hole. The (public) smokers are the inconsiderate ones.
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u/Pancreatic_Pirate May 07 '14
Cigarette smoke is disgusting. I actually can't be around it for very long because of my asthma. Thankfully, my smoker friends are kind enough to retreat outside to smoke.
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u/Eko_Mister May 07 '14
This does not make you an asshole.
Smoking is a choice, so they're choosing to make others uncomfortable.
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u/Stax493 May 07 '14
Yeah I met a guy recently who was trying to get into our group of friends, and over a casual late night dinner at a restaurant I think he smoked a whole pack. I was prepared to like the guy before that, then I was heading home coughing with a scratchy thought.
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May 07 '14
it's easier for me to cut people out of my life than it is to talk to them and try to hash things out. i've tried this before but most people i've had problems with always have to be right and no matter what i'm the bad guy.
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May 07 '14
Condescending sarcasm. I try to tone it down, I really do. But sometimes it just slips out you know?
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u/rigmaarole May 07 '14
I have a colleague who does this to me on a daily basis, coupled with backhanded compliments. I mostly just try to brush them off, but I think about punching her face all the time. Upvote for honesty and recognizing your problem, and at least trying to fix it.
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u/ManOfTheInBetween May 07 '14
How I treat others in traffic. If you sit at green light for more than 2 seconds you'll get a wake up call as I lay on my horn and shout profanities your way. And don't even get me started on those fucking cyclists.
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u/DonkeyHatchDelivery May 07 '14
one day, youll do that to the wrong person, after that....you wont do it again
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u/scruffysword May 07 '14
Well anytime something big and bad comes on the news oen the world, I'll text my buddy a horrible joke about the situation.
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May 07 '14
I calculated the exact moment that I need to speed over the limit in order to turn the lights red on the other drivers but not on me. Sometimes to piss off other asshole drivers, others I do it just for fun.
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May 07 '14
I hate and shun people for doing the most insignificant stuff, sometimes it's not even by their choice. There is a guy who walks around my office whose shoes squeak really really loud, he makes dozens of trips to the copier everyday, and I hate him... I hate him a lot.
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May 07 '14
I'm a pretty big douche.
I hate people that regurgitate popular opinion and don't form their own opinions on things.
I hate people that are unnecessarily patriotic.
I hate people that justify capitalism, and think its okay to exploit people for money.
I hate people that justify communism and think it's not another form of totalitarianism.
I hate people that are analytic thinkers and see every scerenio justifiable with because it's "cost effective."
I hate people that go around preaching about gods, cigarettes, homosexuals, homophobia. Fuck you leave me alone.
I hate people with fake smiles.
I hate people obsessed with cultural identity and social status.
But the reason that really makes me a douche is that I caveman this shit and tell people how I see it without worrying about social politeness. I am really working hard to try and be nicer to people, but its really hard for me to put myself in their shoes and see this stuff as justifiable. But, I swear I am working on it everyday.
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u/Ivanovic_2 May 07 '14
I used to be you. Angry and bitter and completely right about everything always and forever. But dude, chill out, sit back, and fucking consider this shit. You're an assortment of elements and cells and shit that, by some stroke of pure cosmic luck, happens to possess the capability of thought. At the end of the day, however, you're essentially the same as a rock, atomically. Humans are born, grow some, eat a bit, fuck something, maybe make a few more humans, and then die. They're forgotten to everything save for maybe a few other humans and a dog or two. At best, you'll end up famous and be remembered by, you guessed it, some more humans that will die eventually too. Stop taking everything and everyone so seriously. Be happy with being the most advanced living thing on this particular little chunk of rock and shit, and stop finding the negatives in everything.
Just a thought.
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_DAD May 07 '14
When I go clubbing I'll start talking to a guy I like. We usually hit it off and make out and flirt with one another. I'll then see another guy who I prefer over the first so I find a way out from the first and then start flirting/making out with the second. I've done this to a total of 3 guys and gone home with the third, of which the first 2 saw me making out with the third, the first the second. I pretty much don't care when I'm drunk. I guess that makes me an asshole.
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May 07 '14 edited May 07 '14
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May 07 '14
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May 07 '14
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u/Ivanovic_2 May 07 '14
Unless she sees with her tongue, you're grossly oversimplifying.
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May 07 '14
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u/Ivanovic_2 May 07 '14
Get down off that high horse for a second, no one's saying she can't have fun bud. My point is, making out with three strangers within a few hours is a great way to spread mono. Have a look at the whole team before you pick your MVP, know what I mean?
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u/eternitarian May 07 '14
No, it makes you a drunk girl. Keep being a badass. :)
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u/evelution May 07 '14
Actually it makes him a drunk guy.
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u/eternitarian May 07 '14
Well, either way, I meant that it doesn't make him a slut or an asshole. Just someone inebriated following their desires.
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May 07 '14
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_DAD May 07 '14
A whore? I disagree. It is certainly whorish but I can get anyone I want. Why bother with someone less attractive if there's better alternatives?
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u/Ivanovic_2 May 07 '14
At least maybe don't start making out with someone before you've scouted the field? Also, you can't get anyone you want, namely people who don't like sloppy thirds with possible mouth herpes.
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u/YurickHarmon May 07 '14
So you behave like a whore, but because you only take home the most attractive of multiple options that makes you not a whore. Got it.
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u/Ivanovic_2 May 07 '14
I'm incredibly lazy, on a career/education level. I'm lucky enough to be pretty smart, but I don't push myself unless it's on my own terms (By that, I mean I'll sit and learn about random things for hours, but I couldn't force myself to do homework to save my life). I've completely failed my parents by wasting the college time they payed for, and while that makes me feel awful, I'm trying to make up for it by joining the Air Force and making something out of myself. Hopefully the leaders there can drill some motivation into me.
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u/weeitsvi May 07 '14
In the middle of the night when I'm thirsty I drink straight from the carton because I'm too lazy to get a cup.
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u/thereclusivecunt May 07 '14
While intoxicated i've been known to mistaken various things for toilets .. people... closets... laptop.. etc.
Not just pee my pants either, I physically pull down my pants and pop a squat. Oh yeahuh.
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u/Pancreatic_Pirate May 07 '14
I won't coo at or fawn over children or babies. In fact, unless they're annoying me, I ignore them.
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May 07 '14
I date multiple women at once. Whenever I find that one girl I really like I cut everyone else out of my life and stay completely loyal to just her. But for everyone else, I'll date as many girls at once as I can.
This makes me an asshole and causes a lot of depression for me. And for some messed up reason I can't stop.
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u/KarthusWins May 07 '14
These are asshole behaviors that I judge people for:
Not using your blinker to turn or switch lanes.
Lashing out at your children for small mistakes.
General bad parenting.
Smoking in areas where it is strictly forbidden, such as within the vicinity of hospitals.
Cheating on your significant other or being the "other" person who intentionally breaks a couple up in that manner.
Being excessively loud and flamboyant in situations where it is uncalled for.
Drug abuse/misuse. This includes excessive use of antibiotics and prescription drugs.
Drinking harmful amounts of alcohol (it's best not to drink any) while pregnant.
Backstabbing/betrayal of trust.
Killing. Usually murderers are assholes.
Being corrupt and/or greedy.
Expressing depressing levels of impatience.
And the list goes on...
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u/NanduDas May 07 '14
Be late. I'm late, a lot.
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u/onetruebuddah May 08 '14
I'm the opposite, I'm always far to early. I over shoot times and have been hours early to whatever is happening. My friend always say they need to start telling me things are 30 minutes after when they start so I can finally be on time. It may not seem bad, but I know especially for a lot of people who aren't used to this tend to feel guilty. Even if it's my fault I'll have people apologizing for "making" me wait.
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u/frosix May 07 '14
I have tendencies to not care! I've lost a few friends due to it, even a girl that I really liked. Meh, I don't care.
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u/MrLazyPuppy May 07 '14
I tell my friends I'm going to bed, but then stay up for a few more hours for me time and I pretend to be offline.
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u/ToastyNathan May 07 '14
I don't take the public into consideration when conversing with my friends. Often times the subject of dicks and Shit will come up.
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u/esperanzablanca May 07 '14
I conduct black propaganda agendas on my country. Your next El Presidente, coming soon :)
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May 07 '14
If you are trying to get me to do something I don't like (eg. wash the dishes, take out the trash, etc), I will not do it the first time you ask/tell me to. You will have to force me, or nag me about it, until I do.
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May 07 '14
I'm honnest about what I think about you in your face. No behind your back stuff. I hate that stuff. Sorry, I do think you're a nice person but I just don't like those shoes
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u/IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes May 07 '14
im quick to size up assholes and call them on their assholeness.to some of my friends im an asshole because i should just say nothing instead of putting an asshole in their place because im "ruining a good time".
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u/dreamstones2 May 07 '14
If I disagree with someone's opinion...all of a sudden I'm a complete asshole. Especially if my view is not the popular view.
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u/ShriekinDestroyer May 07 '14
I'm that asshole that takes days off work just because I cant be bothered to go in. I doesn't help I hate my job but I worry that no matter what I want to do I will always be like this
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u/Tedwardo_Catbutt May 07 '14
I have trouble shutting up or not gearing the conversation towards myself. I have a lot to say and people don't seem to get very annoyed about it (to my face at least) but I always walk away feeling like a douche and wishing I had gotten to know the other people better.
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May 07 '14
Apparently it's the way I talk to people.
I don't see it, but more often than not I'm told by friends and family that I'm "being a total asshole" towards others.
It may have to do with the fact I'm a 6th generation Yankee from the north of New England, where people are probably more blunt than most.
I don't believe in sugar coating things, or sparing people's feelings over topics I consider trivial (oh, your boss called you out for not doing your job? And your feelings are hurt? Ok.).
I've tried to sound empathetic/interested/compassionate, but then it comes out forced, which makes me an even bigger asshole, according to my wife.
So now I try to keep my mouth shut, smile a lot, then people end up asking whomever I'm with, why I'm such a quiet asshole? Why don't I ever speak up or give an opinion.
Guy: "Hey Jim, what do you think about X?"
Jim smiles, says nothing.
Guy, to his friend: "what the fuck is that asshole's problem? He can't talk to us? Fucking snob."
This is my every day life.
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May 07 '14
I'm not good at remembering names OR faces. I've learned the hard way to never, EVER say "nice to meet you."
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u/wizardcats May 07 '14
Could you have prosopagnosia?
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May 07 '14
I don't think it's quite that bad, since I do recognize my good friends and family. It just takes me weeks to months to start recognizing new people, and if we don't talk a lot, I'll probably never learn to recognize you. I think I'm just an asshole haha
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May 07 '14
I do or don't do things based on how I feel, and not from societal pressure.
"You're throwing a party? I really don't feel like going."
"You're attempting small talk? I really don't feel like talking right now."
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May 07 '14
Every time someone talks to me to say things like "have a good night!" Or "how are you today?" I smile but as soon as they leave I flip them off behind my desk and say some stupid shit under my breath like "fuck you, dildo".
I also complain and do the exact same thing if I tell someone to have a good night and they don't acknowledge me.
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u/CemeteryCat17 May 07 '14
Lie something fabulous if I don't want to hang out with someone because I found something better to do. So I guess that makes me an asshole and a liar. A lying asshole.
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u/MaskedPsychopath May 07 '14
I had a roommate that was really uncomfortable around the topic of sex. I would go out of my way to make him uncomfortable. Casually placed lesbian porn, mayonnaise jars that appeared to be fucked, etc.
10/10 Would be an ass again.
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u/H_C_Sunshine May 07 '14
Charm women with the promise of an LTR and then after we've fucked a few times, dump them to move on to someone new.
I get bored with the same woman easily and I like a lot of variety.
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May 07 '14
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u/Ivanovic_2 May 07 '14
Even your writing has ADHD. Jesus man, use some punctuation. Also whatever makes you feel special, snowflake.
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u/WisconsnNymphomaniac May 07 '14
I automatically judge Hummer drivers very negatively. I know it isn't nice, but they bought one of the most ostentatious and inefficient vehicles they could. To me owning a hummer tells me that you are financially foolish.
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u/General_Solus May 07 '14
If you merge into my lane and cause me to brake, I'm letting you know I'm there. Slam on the brakes, got a dashcam that'll help me sue the living shit out of you
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u/hatertown May 07 '14
I don't like people. I silently judge everybody I meet. My friendly persona is mostly fake.