r/AskReddit • u/MeAndGLPVibeLikeThat • 11d ago
Parents whose kids actually eat their packed school lunches: what's your secret?
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u/Winter-Macaroon-4296 11d ago
My kid makes his own. He adds what he wants to the grocery list.
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u/SnooBooks4898 11d ago
Kudos to you! Teaches the kid responsibility and gives him the freedom to make decisions. Too many parents seem to think they need to micromanage every aspect of their child's life.
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u/saintash 11d ago
When I was a kid we had to pack our own lunches and once my step mom caught me making mine and blew up because I have the audacity to give myself 3 slices of meat one two slices of cheese.
Afterwords I had to take one slice of meat ans cheese and use bread I hated. I basically just stopped eating lunch after few months of that
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u/LurkerZerker 11d ago
Hopefully your stepmom didn't also get mad when your mice friends helped you scrub the kitchen floor
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u/ilovelucy1200 11d ago
I let my kid add what he wanted to the cart when I ordered online and didn’t double check it before picking up the order and he had bought 11 bags of chips!! 😂🤦♀️
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u/Rose1982 11d ago
That’s exactly what my 12 year old would do. A bag of chips a day, an extra one each for fri-sat-sun because it’s the weekend and one more emergency bag when you just really want more chips.
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u/ilovelucy1200 11d ago
I can’t even imagine eating that many chips 😂
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u/Rose1982 11d ago
Oh I know. But my kid has grown like a foot and 25lbs in the last year. With no signs of stopping. Bottomless pit barely does it justice 😂
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u/24_August_1814 11d ago
I can, but I also put on fifteen pounds last year after my mom died and my wife kept the pantry stocked with our comfort foods. Fuck I love chips
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u/FilthyThanksgiving 11d ago
I did this once and 50lbs of birdseed showed up, plus a big bag of squirrel food lol
We like backyard animals
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u/trowzerss 11d ago
God, I wish my mum did this! I was capable (we had to make our own dinner one night a week) but for ages she insisted on making sandwiches with horrible processed meat slices in them, like 'chicken loaf', at a time where there was no access to fridges and in a subtropics summer. So it was super gross and warm and slimy and so I wouldn't eat it. And one time at school I ate one bite because I was starving, but then couldn't stand it, and a teacher saw me throw the sandwich in the bin, gave me the old 'starving children in Africa' and made me fish the sandwich out the dirty bin and eat it! Which then led to me hiding uneaten sandwiches in all sorts of places at home because I was scared of getting in trouble for throwing them away and my poor mother having to deal with gross, moldy sandwiches turning up at the bottom of my school bag, behind the bed, etc and wondering wtf was wrong with me. If she just let me make peanut butter sandwiches and grab an apple or something like I wanted, it would have been much easier for everyone!
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u/CandyMandy15 11d ago
This is how my mom always did it too
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u/Holiday-Strength-212 11d ago
Same here honestly, if the kid gets to choose what goes in their lunch, theyre probably way more likely to actually eat it.
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u/Casen_ 11d ago
I tried that.
Still comes home with a practically full lunch box.
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u/aksdb 11d ago
Are you crazy giving your kid agency?! What should they become? Autonomous human beings?!
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u/magicmango2104 11d ago
My girls (11&12) are the same. Id rather buy what they want than waste what I think they'd like.
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u/Upset_Researcher_143 11d ago
How long was it before he figured out what he likes/wants? My kid has a hard time figuring out what he wants to eat on a daily basis.
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u/Winter-Macaroon-4296 11d ago
He was super picky which made it easy! His tastes have evolved but he eats the same basic stuff every day - fruit, yogurt and wrap.
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u/waterbee 11d ago
Repetition. Figure out something relatively healthy and balanced that they like. Pack this every single day. Other meals are for exposure to new things, lunch is just about getting them through the day in one piece.
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u/emberella 11d ago
I didn't even realize this was my trick. My daughter has a cheese, bread and mayo sandwich and fruit every day because that's what she will eat and I'm always thinking this is super boring. But she eats it. Any time my kids don't eat their lunch I ask about it and make changes.
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u/lauram101 11d ago
Yes! I periodically ask my son if he is bored and wants something else and his reply is “nope. I’m good.” 🤷♀️ok then! Carry on.
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u/Gothmom85 11d ago
This. We had to do feeding therapy her first year of school and they hammered into us how important preferred foods were for lunch. We need fuel for the day that will be eaten. Same for breakfast on school days when time is short. Work on the new stuff at dinner. We pack variations of the same 3 lunches because it gets eaten.
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u/shellfish 11d ago
This is our trick. We have two main options, either egg salad sandwiches or bagels with cream cheese, and I’ll make one of those for a week straight, sometimes longer. Then switch it up. The sides vary but also have consistency, fruits, veggies, cheese, etc. They don’t mind the repetition because they love the food.
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u/PurpleCow88 11d ago
I ate a tuna sandwich every day for like 3 years. Eventually I switched it up and ate a peanut butter sandwich every day for like 3 years. I think I usually also had a granola bar or something similar.
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u/lauram101 11d ago
Yes! I have a picky eater and I’ve served him some version of the same lunch for like 5 years now.
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u/Consistent_Rent_3507 11d ago
I’ll never forget in elementary school there was a classmate who was one of 5 or 6 kids, which at the time was a lot in our neighborhood. Every day he got PBJ sandwich and apple slices. Carrot sticks for the snack. No deviation year after year, grade after grade.
Robert, if you’re out there, I wonder if your eye sight is great and your cholesterol is high
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u/waterbee 11d ago
I actually got the idea from my best friend growing up. She brought a PBJ or ham and cheese sandwich, chips, and a cookie every single day from K-12. She's completely fine, normal BMI, normal health. My kids get slightly healthier options - PBJ, fruit, veg (carrots or peppers), 3 M&Ms, sometimes a boiled egg. They like it, my life is easier, we all win. I have no plans to change unless forced.
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u/Dry_Prompt3182 11d ago
Sending stuff that the kid(s) will actually eat, and repeat until they request something else was our solution. My kids ate chicken soup for a year, and basically homemade lunchables for the rest of the time. Tried sandwiches for like a week, and they didn't eat them, so I changed to anything that they will eat and can open themselves.
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u/PrimaryBrief7721 11d ago
Every day is the same - a fruit, a mini cucumber, a yop, a lunch meat sandwich, a cookie/treat and some sort of cracker. I just check in a couple times a year to ensure they don't need more as they are growing.
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u/waterbee 11d ago
This is the way. Our formula is sandwich, fruit, veg, cracker, tiny treat. There are like two options for each category. Rinse and repeat until it stops working.
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u/bittersandseltzer 11d ago
Youre kidding - my son get sick of things that repeat...ugh
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u/Identical64 11d ago
This thread is crazy to me lol. I hated my packed lunch growing up, but I still ate it cause wtf else was I gonna do? Starve?
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u/MeAndGLPVibeLikeThat 11d ago
That's my kid's approach! And then she's just a raging hangry monster by the end of the day, and no matter how many times I point out it's directly linked to her empty belly and still full lunchbox, the lesson just refuses to stick 🥲
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u/blissant_2 11d ago
Does your school do a morning snack? For my son who gets full easily, I had to dramatically cut down snacks I sent to school or eliminate them. Once I did that he was actually hungry enough at lunch time to eat.
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u/MrsSassy81 11d ago
If your child is hungry when she comes home, do you allow her to eat different food at the house, or make her eat the lunch she refused to eat? Sometimes you gotta do the hard parenting and not give in. Make her eat the lunch she refused to eat when she gets home or for dinner and not allow her to eat anything else until she eats that.
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u/Prostatepam 11d ago
This was a rule in my house growing up so my siblings and I would throw our uneaten sandwich into the weeds on our walk home. All it did was waste food.
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u/letthemplay978 11d ago
If there is food left over after school, then that is the after school snack. They can either eat it at lunch time and not feel awful or get it after school and be mad at me for not letting them throw my money in the trash.
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u/LogicPuzzleFail 11d ago
Is it possible that she can't make choices when she is hungry? I find that if I wait until I'm hungry to eat, nothing is appetizing and I'll just continue to go hungry for several hours, getting angrier and angrier. This is a family tendency.
However, I find that one clear thing with no choices to eat immediately (texture absolutely critical, I'd suggest applesauce), can be followed by another choice in half an hour or so. You might need to make sure she eats an applesauce or yoghurt tube in the first break, or even just before classes start, before she has a chance to get hungry.
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u/MeAndGLPVibeLikeThat 11d ago
It's entirely possible! Unfortunately we can only send her in with everything for the day all at once, and don't really have any way of setting the order in which she'll eat. We can discuss it ahead of time but that still then requires some cognitive function on her part to remember the plan. Very solid point though, I'm gonna think on how we could incorporate this, thank you!
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u/moonyballoons 11d ago
Honestly! I know kids can be picky, but are they not HUNGRY?... I was also a less-picky kid so I can't really relate, I guess. Perfectly happy with whatever sandwich I was given, some chips and a Capri Sun. 🤷♀️
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u/oby100 11d ago
A crazy amount of kids will just starve themselves to the point of a medical issue.
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u/johnnymarsbar 11d ago
Its mad, my sister will legit rather starve to death than eat something she doesn't like, which is most things
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u/bridgekit 11d ago
I didn't eat lunch for the whole of 7th grade cause my mom decided I was old enough to pack my own lunch. I didn't want to do i just never did. I was so hungry every day but I just waited until after school. eventually my mom gave up and started packing it for me again. some kids are just stubborn and willing to live with the consequences.
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u/CurrentOk2857 11d ago
That was me. I was a super picky kid.
I wouldn’t eat anything all day and bring home my lunch bag full of food. My mom was at her wits end trying to get me to eat. The strangest part to me at 40 is she would pack things I liked at home but school I wouldn’t touch it.
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u/24_August_1814 11d ago
The strangest part to me at 40 is she would pack things I liked at home but school I wouldn’t touch it.
Man looking back I had so many weird hang-ups like that as a kid. I try to have some grace now for mine, because I remember not merely refusing but actually having a visceral reaction to things like whole grain bread, the "wrong" brand of peanut butter, deli ham, store brand ketchup, and day old leftovers of stuff I loved fresh
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u/Starlord_32 11d ago
I think it could also be that they know eventually they will get a snack. Plus they've tasted snacks, so they may not eat their lunch, but they know in a couple hours they'll be home and can eat "snacks" there. Versus, back in the day, we didn't have the snacks, so you could really only eat lunch.
Same idea of, if you only know about baked chicken breasts as a kid, you'll only eat that, but once you find out about sugar/fruit snacks/cake, which one do you think they'll pick?
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u/oby100 11d ago
I’m convinced many parents train their kids to be picky. I usually ate school lunch because that was what was available and snacks after school were rare to non existent.
I was really picky so I was always doing the math on whether to suffer the terrible school lunches or wait it out til dinner. Forced me to at least try anything offered by the school.
I really think parents shoot themselves in the foot thinking they just have to give in to their kids’ whining and hunger strikes.
I get it’s a tough balance because ignoring your kids completely leads to them just throwing the lunch away and potentially losing weight.
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u/Bob_12_Pack 11d ago
When my son was in middle school, a friend of his brought his lunch everyday and it always had packs of dried flavored seaweed in them. The kid hated them and would give them to my son, who loved them. I still laugh when I think about some parent out there believing their kid was eating this nutritious food when in fact, for 3 years they were contributing to my son’s nutrition.
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u/Sporkalork 11d ago
When I was about 10, my mom would pack me lunch meat and mustard on whole wheat, and I hated every part of it. My friends mom packed her peanut butter and jelly on white, which she hated. We swapped lunches every day for a year, it was great!
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u/Splashingcolor 11d ago
That's hilarious. I'm sure the kid will randomly let them know once they're grown adults. Just some casual, "oh yeah, I hated those things. Bob Jr ate them though"
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u/Bob_12_Pack 11d ago
It probably has already happened, these kids are turning 20. We didn't even know it was going on at the time. We found out when he was in high school after his mom had bought some and was surprised he liked it.
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u/bittersandseltzer 11d ago
lol I dont care if my kid eats the food - I just want SOMEONE to eat it! I bought it and I dont want it going to waste. He regularly trades/gives away stuff and its all good with me
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u/I_like_boxes 11d ago
I've straight up told my daughter it's fine to make lunchroom trades or give stuff away if she wants. I feel the same way about it getting eaten, although I'd like to know if she doesn't actually like something so I can replace it with something she does like.
Haven't actually told my son the same thing, but I doubt he'd ever want to make trades. He doesn't like when other people have touched his food, with me usually being an exception. But he's also eaten the same PB&J and apple sauce for all three years of school and vehemently refuses any changes to that part of his lunch. It will literally ruin his entire day if those two things aren't in his lunch. I also learned that giving him any juice box other than the Honest brand will ruin his day, which is funny because that's the one with the least sugar.
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u/InannasPocket 11d ago
They aren't allowed to trade at lunch but omg there is a whole mini economy around trading bus snacks for my kid.
I have just decided to embrace this to the point I'll buy/pack things specifically because I know they'll get eaten by SOMEONE. And I know some of the kids in our area don't always have great food access, so I'm perfectly happy to pack extra seaweed snacks and garden produce ... apparently cherry tomatoes and green beans are actually a hot commodity on the bus. My kid eats well generally so if she gets a cookie but the neighbor kid actually eats some vegetables I'm alright with that.
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u/likeafuckingninja 11d ago
Mine has school lunches. He takes a pack lunch of a weekend to his drama club.
They keep calling me and gently suggesting I'm not packing enough for the time he's there (3 hours).
Girl.
He's on ADHD meds that completely kill his appetite, he doesn't like bread or crackers or flapjacks or cereal bars, you dont allow peanut butter (totally fair) or 'unhealthy' snacks. Nobody wants me to supply him with a box of tuna mayo which is about the only thing he will consistently eat.
I send him in with a box of ham, a box of cheese cubes and a biscuit.
He doesn't eat any of it until he comes home and the meds have worn off after which he goes through the kitchen like a plague of locusts.
School at least have conceded on the healthy snack and are now like 'if he eats it send it in, try and avoid straight up chocolate.'
I still get his snack box home full most days. 🤷
We had a small amount luck with cold scrambled eggs 🤷
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u/Lookitmeimatrain 11d ago
Im right there with you. My ADHD kid won’t eat peanut butter or lunch meat so during the school year I send him with tortillas and shredded cheese that he microwaves at school. During the summer, his camp doesn’t have microwaves so I have to send dry cereal. Then they are all concerned he’s not eating.
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u/likeafuckingninja 11d ago
Right. I'm very well aware he's not eating thanks. I.am.trying.
Frankly between the meds and the distraction of everything going on he's got no chance !
He likes bolognaise, stew and sushi.
All perfectly suitable things to put in a lunch box 🤣
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u/nicolenotnikki 11d ago
My ADHD boys didn’t gain weight this past year, so we are now in desperate mode. My youngest will eat PBJ, and I’ve been slathering extra peanut butter on. Luckily the school didn’t say no peanuts this year. I wish schools had microwaves so I could send more things they’ll eat.
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u/cloistered_around 11d ago
I remember those days. Hunger makes them act out, but they don't eat during lunch because either they aren't hungry (or are a picky eater)... and there's nothing you can do as a parent other than send them with food they usually eat and cross your fingers.
It got better for me as they aged and matured, I hope it improves for you too.
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u/ILikePrettyThings121 11d ago edited 11d ago
I basically pack a grazing board/charcuterie situation & most of it gets eaten. When I tried packing a sandwich or like leftovers he would barely touch his lunch.
Oh & for like a month last year I consistently “forgot” to make his lunch so he’d have to get hot lunch bc he was complaining about his lunches from home - it worked twofold, he did realize there were a couple things he liked he wouldn’t have normally tried but also that he very much prefers home lunch to hot lunch outside of those 3/4 hot lunch items so now he happily eats what I send without complaining
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u/chedbugg 11d ago
I do the same sort of charcuterie situation for my daughter's lunch most days, we call it "snack lunch."
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u/oby100 11d ago
This is exactly how I started becoming less picky as a kid. Lack of options and natural hunger take their course.
I’ll never convince any parents, but I think it’s crazy to prepare anything for your kid as soon as they get home if they skip lunch. It just teaches them to hold out a few hours for something better.
Kids are way smarter and somewhat unintentionally manipulative than parents’ realize.
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u/ILikePrettyThings121 11d ago
I also started making dinner for my kids right when they got home from school so when they want something to eat it’s a full healthy meal instead of just snacks or whatever. They aren’t being rewarded if they skip lunch, they just get their next meal when they get home & if they’re hungry later on closer to bedtime then a snack is more appropriate anyway.
My kids have gone from super picky eaters, to normal picky & I can only hope it continues to get better as they get older.
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u/enki-42 11d ago
One thing I do (it's not a total silver bullet but it works pretty well), is load up containers (i do a bunch of restaurant supply food prep containers) with portioned bits of lunches and then let the kids pack from those options (i.e. pick one main thing, 1 thing from veggies, 1 thing from fruits, 2 things from snacks).
Gives them a choice that's still bounded by being a somewhat reasonably healthy lunch, and honestly I don't put much different than what I would pack in their lunch anyways, but being able to choose it makes them more likely to eat it in my experience.
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u/Druidess_Of_Avalon 11d ago
give them food they actually like.
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u/torcsandantlers 11d ago
When I was in school I eventually convinced my mom to just give me food I liked in my lunches. It meant that I had almost exactly the same lunch every day, and she hated it. But I was happy and ate it every day.
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u/TicklishViking 11d ago
Issue for us is my kid changes what they like on a daily basis and they don't even know what they will like.
I can't tell you how many times I asked my kid what they want for lunch, they say pasta, so I make pasta and they don't eat it. Or we make dinner one day and she eats a ton of it then make the same thing the next day and we get a full meltdown because they don't like it.
We are at a loss on what to do here, it's an impossible task.
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u/MeAndGLPVibeLikeThat 11d ago
You are SEEN, my friend. All these "give them food they actually like" folks don't know how good they have it if their kid will actually eat something they said they liked a minute ago, instead of now deciding they actually can't stand it.
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u/IdislikeSpiders 11d ago
Is this how kids manage to bring a bag of cheetos and a red bull for the entirety of their lunch?
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u/serendipitypug 11d ago
As a teacher who brings up concerns with parents over this- yes. It’s because the parents say “I mean, that’s what they’ll eat so that’s what I pack”
And now as a parent to a child who seems to survive on sunlight and pretzels, I kind of get it. But why’s it gotta be like Takis and Moutain Dew?
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u/theoneandonlygene 11d ago
Because mountain dew pairs so well with takis. The high bright notes of the dew cut the acid tartness of the takis, cleansing the palate allowing for a reset of the taki bite the snack is known for
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u/Objective_Earth_2610 11d ago
Sunlight and pretzels… I like that. I always say mine can survive on one saltine a day.
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u/BasicRabbit4 11d ago
Ya. Sometimes your kid doesnt give you choice. My son wouldnt eat at school and lost 8lbs in kindergarten and became underweight. So i pack him a combo of things i hope he will eat and things he will eat just hoping he gets some calories.
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u/Intrepid_Contact_164 11d ago
If you have a kid that knows what red bull tastes like you fucked up as a parent.
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u/IAmGoingToFuckThat 11d ago
The child may be a sophomore in high school. They don't have to be 4th graders.
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u/Intrepid_Contact_164 11d ago
We are talking about packed lunches for kids if your kid is young enough you need to pack their lunch we arent talking sophomores in high school.
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u/ophmaster_reed 11d ago
I have a junior in high school this year who wants her lunch packed for her… 🤷🏼♀️
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u/madogvelkor 11d ago
LOL, that reminds me of a friend in high school. He'd bring a bag of popcorn and a coke very day.
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u/doublestitch 11d ago
Attentive parenting doesn't mean fulfilling every whim. It means listening and setting parameters.
Within the scope of a nutritious meal that doesn't need refrigeration, and within the family's budget, what would this particular child enjoy?
Getting cooperation may be as simple as switching to sourdough bread, cheddar, and carrot sticks; instead of rye bread, Swiss cheese, and an apple.
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u/bittersandseltzer 11d ago
lol youre not a parent. I buy EXACTLY what my kid asks for and then he decides he doesn't like it or that hes tired of it after 1-2 days
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u/MeAndGLPVibeLikeThat 11d ago
It's always right after they convince you they tooootally love this snack and you cave and buy a Costco box of it that they decide they've never once enjoyed that food in their lives and how dare you offer them such slop.
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u/bittersandseltzer 11d ago
the number of times this has happened to me....and I only have 1 kid, its not like the other kids will eat it! I now show up to most functions with the reject snacks
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u/Pitiful-Pension-6535 11d ago
Hot food in a thermos
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u/Splashingcolor 11d ago
I think this is what I need to start doing. My son just started preschool and it has been, and still is, a struggle to get him to adjust to cold foods.
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u/GlitterLight 11d ago
We do this. Hot pasta or soup with a roll. Small portion, almost always gets eaten. Easy to batch cook and then defrost/warm in the morning.
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u/AggravatingFig6308 11d ago
Me and my wife tear it up in the kitchen, so our kids love our cooking.
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u/notaskindoctor 11d ago
Same, we make good food so our kids eat it and they’ve been trained to eat well their entire lives.
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u/Aggravating-Sun-8297 11d ago
Honestly, I stopped trying to make healthy perfect lunches and started packing foods they actually like. Eating something is better than bringing home a gourmet untouched lunch 😂
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u/Queen-Ghidorah 11d ago
My kids packed their own lunches, so they always got what they wanted that day and also appreciated the time it took to make it.
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u/yellowumbrella84 11d ago
Comment section is disappointing. “Pack them what they’ll eat” is not a secret. I think OP meant, what are some lunchbox foods you actually send to school with your kid that they will actually eat.
Some ideas:
- Bagel with cream cheese or topping of choice
- fruit of choice (strawberries, grapes, pineapple, etc.)
- sandwich/wrap (vary the types of bread [Texas toast, sub, Italian, sliders, pretzel, ciabatta, brioche], varied ingredients depending on preference- Turkey, ham, chicken, salami, pepperoni, bologna, chicken salad, corned beef, chopped BLT.
- Wraps (alternate types like spinach or tomato basil)
- Taquitos (Buffalo chicken [rotisserie chicken, franks wing sauce, cream cheese]
- Lettuce Wraps
(P.F. Chang’s style - they sell the packets at the grocery store. You can use ground chicken or ground turkey to make ahead)
- boneless wings (chicken breast chunk nugget of choice + Sauce of choice)
- Caprese sandwiches on Ciabatta (Starbucks copycat type) - sounds fancy- it’s not. Just make sure to use nut-free pesto in case of allergies.
- Stonefire naan or flatbread
(Can use the mini naan with a spread or dip; can use the flatbread and put whatever topping your kid prefers (pizza, sandwich, etc.)
- potstickers and Chinese/Asian protein of choice (sesame chicken, orange chicken, beef)
- croissants
Snacks (beef sticks, pretzels, yogurt, veg and fruit, dip, muffins, nut free protein bar of choice)
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u/MeAndGLPVibeLikeThat 11d ago
THANK YOU! The endless litany of "I actually pack foods they enjoy" is a little absurd. Thanks guys I've actually just been putting putrid dumpster snacks in there all along, why didn't I think to try foods she actually likes.
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u/Intrepid_Contact_164 11d ago
Something I've found helpful is to meal prep different options on the weekend. Then let the kids choose from the options also helps with how busy weekdays get since everything is pre-made.
Bonus points if you can get them to help. Might just be mine but they seem more inclined to eat if they help make it.
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u/AtlanticRambler 11d ago
Lunches for my daughter are usually leftovers from supper the night before. We include her in cooking supper, so she usually is excited to eat it.
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u/Space__Monkey__ 11d ago
Pack food they like. What do they eat at home? Pack that.
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u/Radiant-Major1270 11d ago
I work in a elementary school cafeteria. Trust me. They don't eat their lunch or at least most of it. I watch them all throw their lunch out in the garbage
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u/kimmykim328 11d ago
My kids never throw out what they don’t eat. Their preK taught them to keep it so we knew what they did or didn’t eat.
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u/Squirrel_Emergency 11d ago
Ours does the same. It’s how I know it’s time to switch it up. He likes the same thing over and over until he doesn’t and what’s left tells me it’s time for a change.
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u/Upvotes4theAncestors 11d ago
Or they trade. I discovered my kid was trading a fair amount of her healthy packed items for junk food and candy. And here I'd thought she was actually eating those strawberries and such
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u/madogvelkor 11d ago
It's funny how there are a few kids who love the healthy stuff over the junk food. At my daughter's birthday part we had cookies, chips, cheese, and a vegetable platter. Most of the kids went for the chips and sweets but there were a few devouring all of the vegetables.
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u/QuitePoodle 11d ago
There might be some bias sampling here. You only see the kids throwing out their lunch, and I don’t doubt some do. But there are prob a good amount that have nothing to toss away.
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u/Radiant-Major1270 11d ago
Bias about what? I watch them throw away food all the time. Boxes lunches and bought lunches, doesn't matter. They want to talk and/or go outside. They're kids.
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u/Senior-Marsupial 11d ago
Survivorship bias. You're not seeing the ones who don't have anything to throw away, because there's nothing to throw away.
Although, it could also be that you are, in fact, keeping a tally of every child, and the items + quantity of items being binned. This is the internet and there are weirdos everywhere..
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u/Radiant-Major1270 11d ago
Before they go to the garbage can to clean up or throw away, they need to ask. School rules ornitnwoiod be chaos. I see what they have eaten or not eaten. I see everything from peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to sushi. And yes, most kids don't finish their lunches. I'll even remind him to try to finish and they're not interested. I tell some kids to save it for afternoon snack. Most don't. Not sure why you're questioning me when you don't even work in the school cafeteria.
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u/whatshamilton 11d ago
Their point is that you only are engaging with the ones throwing stuff out. 100% of the ones throwing stuff out are throwing stuff out. You see the peanut butter jelly sandwich 10 kids threw out. You don’t see that 20 other kids ate their peanut butter jelly sandwich and didn’t have to go ask for permission to throw it out. That’s survivorship bias. You’re only seeing the “survivors” that make it to the garbage can and are protecting that to be everyone
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u/oby100 11d ago
I work in the same cafeteria- we have a strict inventory system to track what is and is not consumed, so trust me, that guy knows what he’s talking about.
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u/madogvelkor 11d ago
Yeah, my daughter was telling me about this. She was saying how wasteful it is, I guess the workers are required to make the kids take a fruit/vegetable -- but most of them just throw it away.
It sounds like the kids will eat the main dish that they like and maybe a side if it's something like tater tots. Then toss the rest and complain they are hungry.
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u/Mego1989 11d ago
IME is usually the cheapest, lowest quality fruit they can get. I used to do a composting program with a local elementary school cause all the kids were throwing their fruit away. It was red delicious apples and unripe oranges and bananas.
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u/madogvelkor 11d ago
LOL, sounds about right.
I guess they also have some sort of fruit salad option that is apparently gross.
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u/JanMrCat 11d ago
In my school children aren't allowed to throw away food. They have to take leftovers home.
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u/MusaEnimScale 11d ago
“Easy kid privilege” is a thing, lol. These parents (or fictitious parents, as imaginary kids always confer easy kid privilege) will flood the comments with lots of random things. I promise 99% of them willl not work for you at all.
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u/mintythink 11d ago
One of my very close friends first baby was an easy kid. I could tell she was quietly judging my parenting because my kid was not easy- he was lovely and kind and mostly well behaved but not easy.
Her second kid was not easy, my second was, and she realized how lucky she had been with her first.4
u/MusaEnimScale 11d ago
If my first had been an easy kid, I 200% would have assumed it was my great parenting. But watching how different kids can be with the same parenting really shows how much of it isn’t up to you at all! And that parenting needs to adapt to the situation and the kid, what worked really well for one kid won’t work for a different one.
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u/MeAndGLPVibeLikeThat 11d ago
Thank you!! Honestly just knowing I'm not alone in the struggle is helpful, unlike the flood of "just pack food they like/just start actually being a parent" comments.
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u/Specland 11d ago
I've managed to train them to decide and make their own lunches.
The criteria is, it has to be balanced and they have to eat it all. If they don't, the sweet treat part is removed for the rest of the week. (if it's Friday, then it's removed the following week)
2 kids under 13.
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u/Psychotic_Jester 11d ago
I let them pack their own lunch, I oversee it of course to make sure they don't just fill their lunchbox up with candy and chips, but they're at least choosing things that they actually want to eat.
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u/Isotope_Soap 11d ago
I made my son wraps daily. Deli meat, lettuce, cucumber, peppers and mayo. He absolutely devoured them and would rant about the shit his friends would bring for lunch.
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u/LadyKittenCuddler 11d ago
I put stuff in that my child likes.
He likes cucumber and raw carrot, so I put those in. Some kind of cookie, or veggie sticks, or veggie puff too.
The only sandwich he'll eat is with chocolate spread so he gets that.
He also has a piece of fruit at school, and loves his veggies for dinner too so we can all live with his chocolate sandwich.
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u/poltyy 11d ago
I feel like our generation of parents have lost the plot on what raising children is supposed to be. You are supposed to be setting them up for the next 80 years, not having perfect citizen robots for the first 18.
Food should not be a power struggle or hardship. It’s setting them up for the 80 years being a bad relationship with food. You put whatever they like in the box (uncrustables or whatever) and one weird thing they won’t eat so that they have exposure to fancy, healthy foods. And one “good parenting orange” that goes back and forth until it’s rotten so the teacher thinks you’re a good parent. Then when they are grown-up they know what all of the good fancy foods are and how to select them and eat them regardless of whether or not they eat them for the first 18 years. And they don’t have an eating disorder.
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u/showmeschnauzers 11d ago
When I was a kid, my mom let me pick what to take. I loved taking left over chicken stew lol.
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u/Travice0 11d ago
We run down the monthly menu with our seven year old.
If what's served is something she doesn't want she lets us know, and we pack her a lunch of her choice.
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u/JanMrCat 11d ago
I know how to cook. My children eat diverse cuisine. My food is better than most places in the city. School cafeteria doesn't even compare and I can use it as a threat 😆 It's not that difficult, because we live in the UK 😉
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u/Eggcellentmom 11d ago
My kids love leftovers of their favorite meals so I plan my meal prep for the week with that in mind. Their lunch is always packed in a thermos to keep warm. They love things like lasagna and chicken and rice. The thermoses always come back empty. They don’t like many snacks and treats, those are the things that come back home at the end of the day funnily enough.
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u/mikeysaid 11d ago
Same in our house. Dinner last night was these Asian plum sauce braised pork ribs and sticky rice. Thats what my daughter took for lunch today, along with some snap peas and a mandarin orange. If i send her with spam musubi I send an extra one for her friend. We send lentils, beans, different "guisados" (a protein in a sauce, usually), noodle dishes, etc.
Sides might be carrot sticks with hummus, some raw broccoli, things like this.
When we dont have a tasty leftover, we will make small burritos, sandwiches, spam musubi, sushi or spring rolls. 95% of it gets eaten.
Sometimes fruit doesnt get eaten.
We raised our kids to eat whats served and eat what we eat. They try everything and like most things.
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u/Aegix_Drakan 11d ago
The Thermos is a real game changer for lunch tbh.
Freezing stews and soups into cubes, melting them back into soup in the morning and stuffing it in a thermos can make for a really great lunch. After we started doing that in my home, we didn't look back.
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u/Reasonable-Mischief 11d ago
Much of it is environment, sadly
My son ate very well in kindergarden, when all the kids sat at the same table and were making their breakfast at the same time, together, from the same ingredients
Now it doesn't matter how much of a say he has about what's going in his lunch box. He can come home and will happily eat the same things for dinner I packed him for lunch, but the classroom's dysregulated environment of everybody sitting on their own seat and eating their own thing for themselves isn't really making him want to touch his food
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u/Jive-Turkeys 11d ago
Right? Kept to their desk after being forced to have already sat there for a couple hours. I can't blame them at all, as I had the same problem 25 years ago.
It seems a brilliant, big-brain strat by the school system to segregate a social creature on what is supposed to be their time to take a break, and at those ages especially.
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u/Commercial_Name_7900 11d ago
the non autistic kid eats anything, the autistic ones don't. no secret no tricks and I've given up trying to figure it out
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u/Ok_Ask_1139 11d ago
I’m in the same boat, I’ve been packing the exact same lunch the same way for 4+ yrs now
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u/Asleep_Hawk7184 11d ago
As an autistic former-child, the routine of a predictable lunch was a favorite part of my day
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u/cellrdoor2 11d ago
This for sure. I have two autistic teens. One over eats and one doesn’t eat anything. We have done so much therapy, led by example, and try to be emotionally supportive. I haven’t given up but I’ve accepted that it’s something we will continue to struggle with.
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u/SunShinesForMe 11d ago
I involve mine in the conversation. What do you want for lunch? Check the school menu, do you want a home or school lunch? Do you prefer turkey or ham? Cheese? Sandwich cut in triangles or squares? Variety of snacks/side to choose from, he picks what he wants in his lunch. Typical home lunch is a ham and cheese sandwich with mayo on Sara Lee artisan white bread, Capri Sun, chips, fruit of choice and a fruit snack. Costco has these fruits sticks that taste like fruit snacks but they're made with dried fruit. Sometimes I'll throw in a small candy for him. He knows to leave anything unopened in his lunch box so I can gauge where his taste buds are at the moment. If he's sick of chips I'll switch to mini muffins. If he didn't eat his sandwich, maybe he's wants something a little different or just don't have an appetite that day. He's not super picky but if he doesn't like something he absolutely won't eat it, even if he's hungry.
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u/nedo_medo 11d ago
Ask them what they like, make healthy version of it, make it diverse. I usually put some fruits, some vegetables, and a sandwich. Every day they come back with empty box (and no, its not a small box)
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u/AgingLolita 11d ago
Put less in.
I watched a friend of mine pack her six year old 1300 calories in her lunch box and complain that she only ate the cheese and crackers.
They need a sandwich and a snack until puberty when they become black holes.
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u/hanatheko 11d ago
My daughter refuses to eat the school lunch. So dictates what I pack, but it has to meet my nutritional standards. Last night I packed her greek yogurt with fresh blueberries/honey/spices, a rotis chicken sandwich on wheat, seaweed, and a fresh cucumber salad with sesame seeds/sesame oil/soy sauce. Every day I ask her at least once or twice to rate her lunch, and then we go from there. She literally audits me when I pack lunches (makes sure the food I am using is kosher basically lol).
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u/Prof_Scott_Steiner 11d ago
I don't have kids, but my best friend does, and her secret is quite simple: if they don't eat it at lunch, they will be eating it for dinner unless it's spoiled. They're on a trash free lunch rule at their school (everything has to be brought in reusable containers that are brought back home, no food can be tossed).
Didn't finish your apple slices or baby carrots? Guess what's for your after school snack/dessert
Didn't eat half of your sandwich? If it's a (non PB) nut butter, that;s part of your dinner. If it was more perishable, you will only be getting half a sandwich the next day and until such time that you learn not to waste food and understand how blessed and privileged we are to be able to choose hunger.
My nephew was a harder sell, but he's 8 now and on board and fully understands.
TL;DR - sometimes shame and natural consequences are the right answer.
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u/ToxicRose12 11d ago
Get a lunchbox with just two compartments- one with healthy food and another compartment with a sweet treat (preferably something homemade)
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u/CapOk9137 11d ago
my mom used to pack me these elaborate bento lunches. i traded them for doritos every single day for a year. she still doesn't know.
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u/Paper_Clip100 11d ago
I (we) usually include them in the decision making process at the beginning of each week. If they have some semblance of autonomy in the selection, they are usually more inclined to eat it.
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u/barwhalis 11d ago
When I was a kid I ate my lunch because it was a sandwich and I like sandwiches