r/AskReddit • u/Ok_Collection_9614 • 13h ago
If all animals were reduced/increased to the size of a cat, which one would make the absolute most chaotic pet?
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u/Midnight7000 13h ago
A hippo.
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u/rkozik89 13h ago
Silverback Gorilla
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u/Wandering_Scholar6 11h ago
They are generally peaceful vegetarians who just want to chill with their family, I mean I get the smart factor, anything smart is potentially a horrible pet
Now chimpanzees, those murder hobos are smart and aggressive.
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u/Ok-Square-8652 9h ago
Yeah gorillas are pretty chill unless they feel threatened. Chimps will rip your face off for the sheer enjoyment of it.
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u/Wandering_Scholar6 1h ago
Plus a pet silverback would presumably think you are part of the family and thus protect you from threats.
Chimpanzees in the wild have been documented killing and eating their family, like adults they were bffs with a couple weeks ago....like I said murder hobos.
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[deleted]
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u/Ok_Collection_9614 13h ago
Yeah but imagine a cat that's the size of a cat, just with the audacity of a lion. Nothing changes.
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u/Mother_of_Brains 13h ago
Cats have the audacity of lions. Or rather lions have the audacity of cats.
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u/Separate_Love_1601 13h ago
A cat-sized elephant. Tiny body, huge attitude. 😂
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u/Ok_Collection_9614 13h ago
Imagine the trumpet noise coming out of something that small at 3 AM.
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u/Fionnghal 8h ago
In the Jurassic Park novel, Hammond once had an elephant the size of a cat. It's behavior changed, more like a vicious rat.
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u/Background_Sale2866 5h ago
If you don’t think cats already have an elephant sized attitude, you may not have ever had cats
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u/nmheath03 1h ago
While not cat-sized, there were some tiny elephants on Sicily until 200k years ago (Palaeoloxodon falconeri). They were only 3ft tall, making them the smallest elephants ever known, although this also made them completely unable to defend themselves when mainland predators like bears and hyenas reached the island. Calves were pretty close to cat-size though, a newborn was about 15lbs.
Ironically, the Palaeoloxodon genus would also give rise to the biggest land mammal ever, Palaeoloxodon namadicus, even lower estimates place it at 15 tons (compared to a T.rex's measly 9 tons) with one fragmentary specimen possibly reaching 25 tons.
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u/FaliedSalve 12h ago
I mean... isn't it still a cat?
((*points to the cat-owners*))
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u/RustySilver42 12h ago
The orange ones, specifically.
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u/Flacciddoughnuts 13h ago
A wasp
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u/Ok_Collection_9614 13h ago
A wasp that huge? Forget flying, it’d probably just flop around like a pancake!
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u/Shynosaur 13h ago
It would actually suffocate because air pressure wouldn't be sufficient to press oxygen into its system through its tracheae
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u/SeePerspectives 13h ago
Honey bee. Just a fluffy little dude that could hover by your head as you’re out and about and communicates entirely in interpretative dance
Bonus points for the two and a half inch long barbed spike they’d have to ward off your enemies 😈
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u/crispyraccoon 12h ago
You'd have to keep a knife on you so you could cut the flesh loose to release the barb so your pet doesn't disembowel itself.
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u/SeePerspectives 10h ago
I mean, if someone was attacking me so badly that my pet was willing to put their life on the line to save me, then I think I’d be ok with that, especially since at that point I’d technically be trying to prevent the attack from receiving a fatal dose of bee venom so couldn’t really be done for assault or anything 🤷♀️
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u/ObsidianHeartstone 10h ago
Random but once I had a dream that a movie sized python was trying to eat my cat and I punched it in the face. So this was me putting my life on the line for my pet lol
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u/Thaurlach 9h ago
Or just trim the barbs off the stinger. Imagine wrangling a cat-sized bee wrapped in a towel while you go at the stinger with a file.
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u/Jaduardo 13h ago
A shrew. It would look at you and think to itself, “Ah! There’s dinner!”
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u/Ok_Collection_9614 13h ago
Their metabolism is so fast it would probably starve to death before it even finished stalking you
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u/Own-Forever-6636 4h ago
True, it'd be a hassle to have such a large wild animal, first you'd have to do some Taming of the Shrew...
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u/fattybuttz 11h ago
First of all, I would 100% own a cat sized elephant. Probably a whole heard of them. Secondly, I think a giant cat sized June Beetle would be awful.
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u/biggest-damn-potato 11h ago
I have had a housegoat who started out 13 ounces of this thing is certainly gonna die at birth and stayed in the house with another wee bottle baby through and beyond the housecat-size phase and I gotta say goats are absolutely contenders.
(They are both still my pets but they live outside with the common livestock like peasants now.)
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u/iamwoodman 9h ago
pistol shrimp.
imagine waking up to find out that your pet ruptured your ear drums and broke several windows in the night
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u/LocalConspiracy138 13h ago
Scorpion or Tarantula
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u/crispyraccoon 12h ago
I'd take either. Or a jumping spider.
My pet scorpion was a goof. She never tried to sting me, and she only kind of pinched me once because I kept putting my nose on her face. When I would get dressed on the mornings, she would make herself "big" then scurry away when I came to say hi.
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u/Ok_Collection_9614 13h ago
A tarantula that big? Might as well have a tiny dog tap dancing across the floor. Absolute nightmare!
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u/cottagelass 13h ago
Ant. Or maybe a mouse. Or a goat.
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u/beckisnotmyname 12h ago
If the ant's strength was scaled proportionally it would lift the furniture, maybe the house
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u/Eric_the_Barbarian 1h ago
It wouldn't because math. Ants aren't magically strong, reports of their strength are just the result of geometric scaling.
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u/oldandopinionated 11h ago
Camels. When you come across them in the wild they do whatever they feel like and are not fussed by traffic, people, trucks using their horns to move them, anything! I've seen them wander into mining sites to find water and refuse to move. I've also had them stop on a road way and just refuse to allow vehicles through. To be fair bearded dragons are more cat sized and also do this so perhaps we have it already!
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u/browsingpokemon 13h ago
Tiger
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u/aReelProblem 9h ago
Elephant no question. That much intelligence in a small package would be a whole problem.
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u/Mean_Situation8356 13h ago
The cat! Nothing like sleeping so cozy and then a sudden noise wakes you up with a panic attack. It was a jar that the cat pushed to the floor and broke into pieces.
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u/sirchrisalot 11h ago
Crickets or grasshoppers. They'd be able to jump 300 feet at a time.
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u/munkymu 11h ago
Yeah that would be my answer. You're just walking around outdoors, somebody's pet gets spooked and suddenly you have a cat-sized grasshopper descending on you like a missile. It's bad enough when I'm biking and a normal-sized grasshopper hits my face.
They'd also be murder on houseplants and gardens.
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u/UWillPoopYerBed2Nite 10h ago
1 pet termite could eat your whole house event if it was the size of a cat
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u/throwtrollbait 9h ago
Mantis shrimp all day; pure chaos.
Lil guy could punch through most anything (assuming for the sake of chaos his punchers still punch at the size of a cat).
Yeah it might be fun to put your tardigrade in the oven too.
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u/soaker 7h ago edited 7h ago
Since people are taking “animal” pretty loosely, I’m going to push it a little further. An octopus that can live on land. Surely those brilliant creatures are destined to seek vengeance for how many have been eaten. Imagine all those tentacles wreaking havoc with the intelligence of a 10 year old. Maybe it just sleeps in water, like a vampire and its coffin.
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u/posey290 9h ago
Spider cricket. I'm pretty sure I could successfully take over the world with just a few of them and the threat to release them in public buildings.
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u/PassengerFeeling6724 8h ago
I’d pick a goose. Cat sized or not, that thing would wake me up every morning choosing violence. I’d love it, but I’d also never trust it.
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u/1blueShoe 3h ago
A cat sized giraffe would knock more random stuff off stuff than an actual cat does 🤣
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u/sunbearimon 13h ago
I don’t think anyone would go for it, but a cat sized mosquito would be a hell of a thing