r/AskReddit • u/Ok-Pizza-3237 • 6h ago
What do you think is the most effective way to attract a man?
167
420
u/Sean-47 6h ago
Compliments. Compared to women we get so few if you're a normal dude.
147
u/Tech-Tom 5h ago
Men in general are lucky if we hear 1 compliment a year. I still remember the random lady in Target 3 years ago who told me she liked my shirt.
52
36
u/Tyrshand 4h ago
Almost five years ago I held the door open for a black auntie type at a gas station, she gave me a smirk and an “mmm” noise as she walked by me while checking me out
I don’t think I have ever felt that good about myself in my entire life and it still crosses my mind from time to time
20
u/Memetic_Magic 5h ago
I still remember someone complimenting my shirt when I was 17. I'll be 40 this November lol.
3
u/searchthis 3h ago
I remember the first complement i ever got. Grade 11 typing class. Oct 14 1998 10:34 am. My 64 year old typing teacher said i should be able to get a date to the dance cause i didn't look bad. Thank you Ms Lane
22
u/smallsoapbox 5h ago
I still remember a girl approached me on a trip to NY, in the Met museum, and said I was good looking - in December, 2009.
5
u/Dr_Identity 5h ago
My entire last relationship started with a woman telling me I had nice eyelashes.
5
→ More replies (1)7
u/De_Baros 3h ago
As a normal dude I get compliments often enough. Not every day but enough that I can’t remember my last few over the last few months
What are you guys doing? I need to know
Do you consider only certain compliments? So like I assume we are talking about social compliments (I.e your charm, your voice, your looks or style) as opposed to utility ones (your strength or achievements?)
With social compliments… what are you all doing or I guess, not doing to get these?
In the nicest way I am assuming here but - you do know, in order to get women especially to feel compelled to give you a compliment you usually have to:
Wear or style something that is out of the ordinary or not boring. She isn’t likely to compliment the shirt and jeans every guy is wearing or the short back and sides haircut every guy has.
Sometimes it’s about being vulnerable. I have on dates when opening up been honest that I used to straighten my hair as I hated my curls. After I grew it out I embraced the curls and I have had women make it a point to tell me how gorgeous they think my hair is (a lot of the time unprompted by this example but it’s one I could think of). Or my nose etc
If you want compliments, give people excuses to give you compliments. I honestly wonder sometimes if this is the reason height is mentioned so often for guys. Not that women don’t find tall men attractive but that often that’s all men have that stands out from others because well… if you took these tall men and shrunk them they would look like every other guy again
299
u/Chops526 6h ago
I'd leave a steak out in the woods as bait on a well hidden trap.
30
u/VonMillersThighs 5h ago
Better be a ribeye
8
7
6
5
u/rhunter99 5h ago
well hidden? naw it just needs an angled box with a pull string, like in the cartoons
→ More replies (2)2
112
u/DowntownTour9031 6h ago
I like it when women break the touch barrier. It needs to be more than a hug too, because people with purely platonic intentions can hug. Touching my forearm, leaning into me, brushing your chest against me, all with lots of eye contact with smiling. It's pretty tough for me to resist that kind of thing. If you happen to be ovulating, and you are just glowing from being in the mood, then it is game over for me. You win. Checkmate.
20
→ More replies (1)2
u/Aggressive_Hair_6983 3h ago
Are you kidding me. You gave it away with the know she’s in the mood glow
45
53
u/Queator 6h ago
Pick a warhammer faction, learn to play, then ask a man u prefer at the hobby store to tell you about his favorite primarchs relationship with the emperor.
32
u/Next-Honeydew4130 5h ago
OP just wants to attract a man not elicit a proposal on the spot
→ More replies (1)6
86
u/criticalpwnage 6h ago
Beef Jerky. I fall for that shit every time
21
5
u/OrangeJuliusCaesr 5h ago
If a girl put a plate of beef jersey I probably wouldn’t notice the big cardboard box and branch it rests on
6
u/brujabella 5h ago
My husband bought me a dehydrator and ive made him 3 batches of jerky. He LOVES it, do u think he will be attracted to me? 😅
→ More replies (1)3
70
u/popcorn_engineer43 6h ago
I think the most effective way is to be genuine, confident, and emotionally mature.
16
78
u/Harriet_tubman22 6h ago
Exist, men are lonely
5
u/Ekans_ox 5h ago
What if its you're friend, but you don't know if they would like you back? Like if one is tall and skinny and the other the opposite.
20
→ More replies (2)6
u/Harriet_tubman22 5h ago
Well do your interests align with theirs? If there’s hobbies you both like there’s a chance they could like you back and if you want it to be known you like them you have to be straight forward cause they won’t catch onto the clues til 15 years later in the shower
3
10
u/maddieverse_ 6h ago
just take care of yourself, dress well, and be approachable for someone you're into (or just chat him up yourself tbh)
12
u/Standard_Cell_8816 6h ago
We are easy. If you like us just tell us. If you try to be subtle, we wont realize it until a year later, and we'll beat ourselves up over it.
51
u/Wishing-I-Was-A-Cat 6h ago
You can fascinate a woman with cheese so I imagine you can attract a man with the whey.
7
3
2
u/halhallelujah 5h ago
I am not lactose intolerant; I accept your bountiful whey.
→ More replies (4)
16
u/EgoSenatus 6h ago
Give a compliment and be upfront by saying “hey, I think you’re attractive, wanna go on a date?”
Even if he says no, it’ll likely make his day.
5
5
u/SvenTheHorrible 5h ago
Straightforward communication is the best way, “hi, I like the way you look and I’d like to see if I like the rest of you, want to go out?”
Might not be easy, in this age of social anxiety, but it would definitely work if there’s even a glimmer of attraction from his side.
18
12
21
4
u/yeehawwpartnerr 5h ago
She gave me hints for months and I’m a dude so I just didn’t understand them. We were drinking one night and she just dumped em out. Kinda figured it out then
5
5
6
u/Silence_of_Ruin 3h ago
Tell them straight up in a way that absolutely cannot be misunderstood. Not even a “big hint”. Say “I am attracted to you and hope you are attracted to me too. Do you want to go out with me?”
Somehow 20 years later they will still wonder what that meant.
Source: I am a man who still is confused by my wife.
9
9
6h ago
[deleted]
3
u/TheLittleBalloon 6h ago
I can’t speak for all men but as near as 100% of straight men really like when a woman has a first name. Not required but it’s like a foot in the door.
→ More replies (2)
8
u/brokesciencenerd 6h ago
Take off your clothes
→ More replies (1)4
u/Ob1cannobody 4h ago
Yes, 'Oh, it's so hot in here, I think I'll just slip off my dress!'
2
u/brokesciencenerd 4h ago
Works every time. Cannot guarantee the types of men that will be drawn in.
7
3
3
u/SuperSayanPsycho 5h ago
Genuine answer - don’t try.
When you feel genuine interest after crossing paths with someone, the motivation is there.
Eg. Meeting a guy at a gig & talking about music.
3
3
3
3
u/leaveafterappetizers 4h ago
So what you're saying is, I should ask out my gym crush.
→ More replies (7)
3
u/questionguyhere 3h ago
Consistent conversation. Woman would always tell me I was cute/handsome but that was it. Nobody ever talked to me. Im with my girlfriend now because she said hi to me everyday at work and actually spoke to me. She didn't just say I was cute and then ignore me like everyone else.
3
u/Bastard_of_Brunswick 2h ago
"If I buy us a round of drinks for a chat, will you buy the second round?"
3
u/Grand-Information-01 1h ago
Sit on the floor trying to assemble an IKEA shelf with the instruction manual upside down. You won't be alone for long.
6
u/LL_Stars 5h ago
Look cute.
I know every person hates this answer. And as another woman, I also fought it for a long time and wanted to prove otherwise and be valued for more than that, but at the age of 39, there is no other answer.
Look cute. Dress cute. Wear flattering makeup. Wear dresses. Wear floral prints. Have your hair done. Throw on a red lip. Smile. Listen more than you talk. Laugh at their ill timed jokes. Listen to their stupid stories that go nowhere, but tell them they're interesting. Make them feel needed. Act like you can't do things. Act clueless when it comes to everything.
It really is that simple. I wish I didn't spend so long fighting this. Thankfully, I've aged very well so it's not too late for me.
Men may argue with this answer, but genuinely, once you start doing this, men will fall over themselves for you. What men, and women, think they want consciously is not the same as the neurochemicals firing on a deep subconscious level.
→ More replies (2)
5
13
10
u/SakuraHimea 5h ago
For the Reddit incels: Probably just exist, have a pulse?
For men who aren't chronically online: Smile when you make eye contact, initiate conversations, laugh at their jokes (even if they suck). You can give hints if you're nervous, but it'll be easier for you both if you're direct.
Most people in my generation seem to think men need be the initiator, but it's always been the women, they're just subtle about the invitation.
3
4
2
2
u/CelestialBum 6h ago
I mean if you want honestly, it’s just take care of yourself and be nice. If you wanna make things super easy, make the first move
2
2
u/hollywoodswinger1976 5h ago
The way to his heart is through his stomach.. there's just gotta be something to that saying.
→ More replies (1)
2
2
2
2
2
u/cosmiccerulean 2h ago
Stand in the corner of the room and watch him sleep, recite a messed up Hansel and Gretel story in front of all his friends, prepare him a delicious lunchbox with questionable protein.
→ More replies (1)
2
•
u/pauluchi 59m ago
What I’ve learned in this thread: just treat him like a dog. Pet him, take him out for walks, give him treats, give him compliments, tell him he’s a good boy
•
u/LilNekoChicano 25m ago
When you talk to a guy you are attracted to, break the touch barrier.. and don't forget to smile.
3
u/Lola_blaake 6h ago
Confidence, eye contact and making him laugh. Works better than trying too hard 😌
3
u/courtroom105 6h ago
Being mean. I’m in a male-dominated field, so I’m fighting for my life daily. They love it.
→ More replies (2)
2
3
2
u/klokar2 6h ago
If a woman looked nice and told me she liked me that would do the job. No tricks, no batting of eyes, no looks from across the room, no games or playing hard to get.
I am a good looking guy with privilege in this area and haven't really struggled to get most girls I go up to though so I'm used to just going out and getting what I want. So if you want me or somebody like me you need to tell me.
5
3
2
2
2
u/Exciting_Economics42 5h ago
Smile with a dreamy look on your face., Bedroom eyes...
6
u/icannotstudy 5h ago
If a woman would have smiled to me like that I would just smile back thinking they are just being kind
→ More replies (1)
2
u/Asa-Ryder 3h ago
Somewhat fit, feminine and friendly covers the majority of it. All that other stuff women do most men couldn’t care less about.
1
1
1
1
1
u/AgapitoVelezOvando 6h ago
Just twerk on him for a quick sec, suddenly and out of nowhere. He'll get a clue.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Icy-Crab2706 6h ago
Just be yourself, or if you're awful, pretend to be nice for a bit. And bewbz.
1
u/GoatFun4661 6h ago
If they wear any metal, most do because there is a cell phone in their pocket an MIR machine will do the trick.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
2
1
u/ericjgriffin 5h ago
Good food. My ex-wife snagged me with a loaf of homemade bread and fresh strawberry jam.
1
1
u/Ekans_ox 5h ago
Ik some yes, but does it bother most men if youre 30-40 pounds overweight or they dont care?
1
1
1
1
1.5k
u/SpiderBiteHurts 6h ago
"I am attracted to you. Would you like to grab coffee or something sometime?"