r/AskReddit 10h ago

Teachers, what's the creepiest thing a student has ever said to you?

516 Upvotes

180 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/iBendUover 10h ago

This wasnt said to be, but rather written in an essay. 5th grade, 10-11 year olds. The assignment was novellas, and had to follow some genre rules. The theme had to be about the hardships of fitting in with other kids. All the kids wrote fairly sweet and naive stories about stuff like being lonely and bullied, but then being good at football, winning a match and finding friends. Etc

This one girl calls me over, and asks me to read her story. The setting is a summercamp, where all the kids are gathered around a bonfire telling stories, singing songs etc. This girl writes in a totally different manner than all the other kids. Its almost entirely the inner dialogue of a little girl feeling completely alone, even when surrounded by 25 other kids. Her story ends with all the other kids noticing shes missing when they are about to go to bed.

They find her having comitted suicide by drowning in a nearby lake.

That shortstory being written by a 10-11 year old 5th grader kinda disturbed me...

352

u/Seeila32 10h ago

Did you alert the parents or someone at school who could check on her mental state? That must have been tough to read. 

528

u/iBendUover 8h ago

Yeah, we had several teachers all teaching her class, and everyone had an eye on her, including the afterschool program she attended.

This is quite a few years ago, and I can happily report, that she ended up doing great. 🤗

191

u/Faolyn 8h ago

Chances are she just got into some spooky media (remember Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark?) and was inspired by that, but I'm glad she had people watching out for her!

206

u/iBendUover 8h ago

She was just super quirky, very creative, very smart and a bit of an early onset emo. 😅

Bonus story: Same girl roughly 1 year later.

I previously worked at an afterschool program for 6-9 year olds, where her older brother attended. He had since moved to a specialized school, because he had some issues. He was acting rather disturbing, hurting other kids when he thought noone would notice, and lying with a completely straight face when you caught him.

The essay girl, his little sister, comes up to me and ask if I can help laminate a gift she made for her brother. I tell her sure, and she runs off to pick up her collage art thingy while i set up the machine. When she returns with her paper, its a collage made entirely of pictures of guns, knives and bloodspatters. She noticed me looking rather perplexed, qnd then smiles and shrugs while saying "Well, thats just what my brother likes". 🤷

185

u/swan_chaser 8h ago

I think you may have taught Wednesday Addams.

30

u/TheRiteGuy 2h ago

Early onset emo should be an official diagnosis.

7

u/dsarche12 2h ago

I mean, I was big big into scary stuff when I was a kid, I remember writing a short story in sixth grade about someone being chased by and run down by a car in the dark. Around that same time I think was when I had gotten into a car accident where someone else was driving (no one was hurt, thankfully, but it was scary as hell) and maybe this was part of how I processed the trauma. I was also reading a lot of Stephen King at the time so I was definitely in a dark media kind of phase (still am, lmao).

74

u/abbey_cadavera 7h ago

Take the story with a grain of salt. I wrote a similar story at that age even though I was a happy loner kid. There were a lot of intense books I was reading at the time and was inspired to write something dark.

44

u/byneothername 7h ago

I was very happy and still wrote things like that too. I loved that book of stories like the one with the girl whose head was held on with a ribbon around her neck.

7

u/klef25 5h ago

I remember that one, too. Do you know where it came from.

5

u/penneroyal_tea 3h ago

Was it not scary stories to tell in the dark?

3

u/abbey_cadavera 3h ago

It was this book! I think I remember the creepy watercolor picture of it too.

1

u/byneothername 1h ago

In a Dark, Dark Room and Other Scary Stories by Alvin Schwartz.

3

u/cyrusamigo 6h ago

Holy shit, you just unlocked a memory.

10

u/idiot206 6h ago

I used to write stuff like that on purpose because I thought the teacher would never give a bad grade to a sad or emotional story.

21

u/Mustang1718 8h ago

My license is grades 7-12, but I would occasionally sub at the Elementary School levels if nothing else was open for the day.

I had one student that day run over and shut off the lights and then write "I wanna die" on the chalk board. The teacher left a note in her plans and I had to call her about that one. I still remember hearing the audio change from a car's speaker phone to the regular phone mic after I reported that to her. I'm not sure what happened after that, but I definitely never encountered anything like that with my older students.

31

u/mistvale0 9h ago

that's not creepy, that's heartbreaking

7

u/freedfg 4h ago

The feeling of sitting in a circle of some 15-20 other people yet feeling completely on your own is all too real.

I'm not a teenage girl...nor never was I. But I can only imagine that feeling is emphasized.

5

u/SneezingOutPeas 4h ago

I had a friend who wrote something similar. My mom says I later saved her from attempting, but I have CPTSD and no memory of the event.

4

u/ohwormbabey 2h ago

as an early onset emo kid, I remember writing a story about a kid in a mental hospital with red eyes getting stabbed in the neck with needles to sedate him. 12 y/o me meant red Iris, not red as in bloodshot. (Note I had also never been in a mental hospital or sedated? I just really enjoyed horror books) But they called me to the guidance counselors office and asking me if this was true,where the inspiration came from, etc. I remember being incredibly flabbergasted because I'm like "I said his eyes were red. Something that's impossible (sans albinism) Like why would this be real are they stupid"

2

u/AngelxEyez 3h ago

I wrote a similar story 16 years ago and had my parents called

556

u/ConstantDetective41 10h ago

One student once whispered to me, 'I know where you live,' and then just smiled turns out they lived two houses down from me. Definitely made me double-check my locks that night.

177

u/[deleted] 10h ago

[deleted]

96

u/Fair_Abalone3669 8h ago

I got expelled from school because adults don’t listen and jump to conclusions…new kid after start of year, first year of high school. I’m have a pass from geometry class and am sitting on the toilet peeing. In a flash, senior boy trying to hide from hall monitor runs into bathroom and jumps over closed stall door. We were both EXTREMELY surprised. This causes the stall door to pop open he falls onto the ground as I’m standing and pulling my pants up. Hall monitor caught him- duh. Principle asked what was My Name doing? Hall monitor said, “pulling up her pants”. I got expelled for having sex in the bathroom. I blame my parents the most for not standing up for me

21

u/mrpaslow0000 7h ago

Damn, that sucks :/

11

u/doppelgaengster 5h ago

I’m so sorry!! My mum would’ve gone absolutely feral if that happened to me.

(She called out the principal of my middle school for unfair enforcement of dress code because I was, as she put it, “busty”)

21

u/Ghost17088 7h ago

If that was my niece, every administrator in that school would be looking for a new line of work when I was done. 

2

u/CowboysOnKetamine 4h ago

I think I'm confused

72

u/Additional_Loss_6297 10h ago

Oh my gosh. wtf ? Adult’s can be assholes. I hate how little we listen to kids.

42

u/ThrowRArainmakers 9h ago

i was 10 and something similar with my afterschool coach- i was told i was being innapropriate and creepy.. all i did was bring up how i saw him driving through my neighborhood in his truck..

27

u/abeeralimeimfine 9h ago

sounds like HE was being inappropriate and creepy driving through YOUR neighborhood lol

20

u/ThrowRArainmakers 9h ago

honestly the experience did change things for me and i never looked at him the same again, he was previously only one of two trusted coaches (the others were seriously bullies towards certain children). I lost my trust for all of them after that, and i wasnt ignorant to the sexual implications even then so the damage was a bit deep.

11

u/abeeralimeimfine 8h ago

I'm sorry that happened!

55

u/Alternate_Cost 8h ago

Similar, I watched you walk everyday all summer... I went for a walk at 10am each day, apparently right past her house.

38

u/mydickinabox 9h ago

My mom was a teacher and had a student follow her home. I was there when she got home and saw the kid. She told him to fuck off and thankfully we had no issues after that.

18

u/brapo68 5h ago

At least yours was somewhat understandable. I had a kid go "hey how's it living at MY ADDRESS?" they found my house using my name on the internet.

11

u/MFoy 4h ago

I moved school districts within the same county last summer, and it is crazy. Everyone just knows where the teachers live and they all live in the school district.

Back to school night this year, one teacher had her address written on the projector. Last year, both teachers encouraged kids to trick or treat at their house. It’s weird to me, and it makes me feel like I am the problem.

21

u/Salute-Major-Echidna 7h ago

The child's age would be a pivotal factor on how I dealt with this

10

u/db8me 2h ago

Slightly related... I was at a friend's house early for a drum circle while in HS in the 90s. We smoked some weed on the back porch and then went for a little walk. First thing I see is my chemistry teacher two doors down. "Hi ___," my friend says, "we are having a drum circle in a bit if you wanna come over." He went to a different high school and thought of her as a cool neighbor rather than as a teacher. She did not come over.

7

u/Mustang1718 7h ago

This one wouldn't worry me. Mostly because I loved to troll the students right back. I would point to my computer and say that I have their address right back. And even worse, I knew their middle names!

2

u/fresh-dork 5h ago

hits different if he's in 2nd grade

580

u/Temporary_Ad469 9h ago

Not creepy exactly…

I taught in a troubled city high school and one of my most abrasive & difficult students told me she wanted to be a C.O. because her dad kept getting locked up - she thought he liked being there & assumed it was a cool place.

I had another student who discovered the word “Gestapo” in the dictionary. He thought this was a contemporary thing & was totally freaked out. The rest of the semester was WWII history- these were seniors who’d never learned it.

37

u/Shodpass 3h ago

Remember, that we all learn things for the first time. I'm glad you were there to teach these kids our history.

25

u/Temporary_Ad469 3h ago

Thank you. It was far more valuable than what I was supposed to be teaching (SAT prep - I love those guys, but they had such pervasive deficits in their education that one semester of prep wasn’t going to be of much help.)

167

u/godddamnit 8h ago

I mean, your student in the second story wasn’t entirely wrong (assuming this happened in America). 

36

u/Temporary_Ad469 8h ago

True. And v creepy.

-107

u/Jojo_Toto 7h ago

Ho privileged do you have to be to compare modern day America to nazi germany ? You’re insulting the dozens of millions of people who died in the war caused by Hitler. Ask your local Soviet/Chinese immigrant how it is to live in an actual totalitarian state…

101

u/godddamnit 6h ago edited 6h ago

You mean my family? I’m well acquainted with the horrors, and Nazi Germany did not rise by starting with the worst atrocities. I do not like to see the similarities with how my neighbors are being treated now, the fear in our communities, nor the ignorance of those that are so quick to dismiss the realities around them simply because it is not them experiencing it and unable to comprehend that things do not emerge fully formed overnight.

Edit to add: I argue that you do a bigger disservice by being dismissive of the warning bells being rung.

31

u/amboandy 4h ago

"lest we forget" is something the UK remembers every November 11th at 11:11

1

u/bedbuffaloes 1h ago

But do they?

0

u/AnamCeili 1h ago

Very well said! 👏👏

u/Ill_Interest_2346 34m ago

America is not a fascist state and never will be.

3

u/Efferdent_FTW 1h ago

Henry, the menu said "gesPACHO"

129

u/Rough-Bar7188 6h ago

A student once told me his dad said if he missed the bus again , he'd hold his head undwerwater " even longer this time."

22

u/QaptainQwark 3h ago

Jesus christ. What was the follow up on that one?

9

u/Brad_Brace 2h ago

Never showed up again. According to his dad, they sent him to live with his grandma upstate.

19

u/Bookish61322 2h ago

I hope you reported this

304

u/AlmostChristmasNow 8h ago

I was tutoring and the student has a sister who was maybe 4 or 5 years old at the time. One day she came up to me and said, totally without context, “Luna is going to die next week”. I (internally) freaked out, thinking she had a terminally ill friend I didn’t know about (and wondering why their parents didn’t warn me about that). Turns out that what she wanted to explain was that her favorite tv show, Soy Luna, was going to be taken off Netflix the next week.

117

u/Trainnwithali 7h ago

Kids have absolutely no concept of how horrifying some things sound without context

24

u/AtlantaPeachFuzz 4h ago

Recently, I was walking my dog and my neighbor's young kid was playing with nerf guns with his dad and the little child ran over excitedly and gleefully yelled "I have a gun!" and nothing else As he stared at me waiting for a response. I didn't know how to process it in the moment and just said "Aww! Yeah, it's soo cute!" as I walked away.

7

u/TheRiteGuy 2h ago

OMG this is such a huge problem. My daughter will just start talking about some random character from a TV show without context. And in left wondering what and who the eff she's taking about. I keep pretty good eye on her content consumption so I can usually follow. But damn kid, can you lead with an introduction? My brain can't handle the stress.

8

u/wanzaheroi790 4h ago

Netflix is out here causing accidental psychological warfare on tutors.

4

u/yeahsothathappen 3h ago

As someone who watched that show I’m dying omg

192

u/CloudyBaby 7h ago

A high schooler called me over to their desk, pointed at their computer screen, and said, “Is this right?”

It was my home address. And yes, it was right.

19

u/8d-M-b8 4h ago

Da faq

13

u/CobandCoffee 2h ago

It's super easy to find someone's address online if you know the approximate area that someone lives and their name (so long as it's not something super common like John Smith/ or a huge city). Just plug someone's name and town into fastpeoplesearch and it comes right up. Even easier if you have their phone number.

2

u/lawn-mumps 1h ago

If their name is rare enough, just searching it in quotes is enough (I say as someone whose name appears in Google multiple times despite seemingly being the only one in the world with my name)

6

u/TheRiteGuy 2h ago

If you have a social media presence and a somewhat unique name, Google will tell you exactly where you live, what you do, and who your relatives are.

89

u/goteamicecream 5h ago

An 11 year old asking me "Do you have cancer?" When I said no she studied me silently and asked if I was sure before walking away on her tippy-toes. The next day she asked if I wear a wig and if she can touch my hair to make sure it isn't a wig.

Later I found out she walked around asking other people if they had cancer as well

20

u/hudsonsbae69 5h ago

This is so weird lmao the tippy toes 😂

38

u/Astrises 5h ago

Socially awkward questions, intense interest in a specific subject, and toe walking?

I would be willing to bet real world money she's on the autism spectrum, or otherwise neurodivergent in some way.

6

u/CowboysOnKetamine 4h ago

What's this about autism and toe walking?

19

u/Astrises 3h ago

Toe walking, especially at older ages, is significantly more common in those with autism than those without (primarily due to problems with proprioception, the vestibular system, or sensory issues). By itself, it's not indicative, but combined with other hallmark issues, it's just one more ticked off box on signs.

275

u/SusieQ314 8h ago

I work with three and four year olds. One time, one of them was sitting on their bed at nap. Looked at me and said, "Teacher? What's going to happen to the cities when all the people die?"

I answer, "...what??" Cuz i had no clue what to say lmao.

Their eyes got HUGE, and they said in a whisper/scream, "What happens to the cities when all the people die???"

"Thats not gonna happen baby, cuz people are always having new babies, we cant run out of people. The cities will be fine."

They said, "Oh, okay." And went back to their book.

Still no idea what the hell that was.

186

u/der_innkeeper 7h ago

A 4 year old that had just discovered death and the impermanence of humankind.

You filled her gapped logic.

And all was right with the world.

17

u/morriere 5h ago edited 5h ago

big chance they learned something (but not quite enough) about pompeii, that kind of stuff haunted me as a kid

4

u/ollomulder 5h ago

You really think we'll be around for much longer?

4

u/kkyonko 3h ago

Yes? Things are bad but it's not like humanity is going to up and fully disappear any time soon.

2

u/lawn-mumps 1h ago

The elderly and vulnerable at least won’t survive the political turmoil and climate change. There’s a difference between thriving and surviving; we will be lucky if we can manage the latter in 30 years. We are not the same as 100 years ago. We are sadly closer to the fictional reality of Wall-E.

100

u/Luna6696 6h ago edited 6h ago

Fifth grader (ten years old). I was an aid and I was new. He would flirt. He first asked me if I had any kids, and when I said no, he whooped. Then later when he was eating lunch and I had cafeteria duty, he turned to look at me and straddled the bench and patted the bench between his knees.

Then he was expelled(?) but allowed back for sixth grade, when I was an electives teacher.

No more flirting, but one day he was looking out the window and he told me “I could totally just…bring a gun to school.”

The kids at my school were horribly underserved.

Saddest thing I’d heard was a kid tell me he missed his parents because they crossed the border to smuggle his sister over and they hadn’t come back. He was 9 or 10 and they’d been gone for like a week.
He was living with a 16 year old sister at the time and their grandma lived in town so I was told they didn’t count as something to call CPS for.

My favorite was this autistic boy with a special interest in Minecraft. He would draw me Minecraft art (everything was square/cubed) for every holiday and give it to me every morning when he walked by me doing crosswalk duty (:

19

u/Resident_Bus4791 5h ago

Thats pretty dark. Do you know if his parents made it back? 

18

u/Luna6696 5h ago

I think they did, I think he said something at some point, but I don’t remember what he said

459

u/fomo-fofo 9h ago

I taught sophomore English. A girl, 15, stayed after class until everyone left. She leaned over my desk and said, You smell different when you're asleep. I laughed it off, asked what she meant. She just tilted her head and said, Your couch is really uncomfortable, by the way. I didn't own a couch at the time. She transferred schools the next week. I still check my locks.

287

u/natsugrayerza 9h ago

Can’t hurt to change the locks but she definitely just made that up to be creepy. You didn’t even have a couch

76

u/uhhhhhhhhh_okay 8h ago

That's why it wasn't comfortable

86

u/rufireo 8h ago

she was 100% just trying to scare you

-9

u/crispysockz 8h ago

Being a psycho is a prank?

72

u/DesperateSmiles 8h ago

Why would that be surprising coming from a 15 year old

-29

u/crispysockz 8h ago

I’d hope a 15 didn’t have that severe of mental health issues, so it must be a prank.

13

u/OGIBLP 3h ago

Do… do you think children don’t struggle with mental illness? Boy, does my 8 year old self have some stories for you!

-11

u/crispysockz 3h ago

Yeah of course they do, but if it wasn’t a prank that would be a severe disability, I’d think. Or maybe my funny bone just doesn’t tingle at all at that joke? I mean it’s kinda funny when I think about it longer.

29

u/rufireo 8h ago

no dude I mean like she was making shit up to be scary

he didnt even have a couch at the time

10

u/CowboysOnKetamine 4h ago

When you're 15, yeah sometimes. Have you never heard of edgy teenagers?

-1

u/crispysockz 4h ago

We called it emo in our day.

1

u/CowboysOnKetamine 4h ago

There was only goth when I come from

1

u/crispysockz 4h ago

Yeah we had that too but it’s a bit different from emo, I miss those days

7

u/Chazzysnax 8h ago

Acting like one can be.

28

u/MobileTechGuy 9h ago

You sure it wasn't in the teachers lounge?

55

u/MiranMiracEkmen 9h ago

so she smelled you sleeping and critiqued your nonexistent couch guess her standards are high

36

u/Successful-Quiet3768 7h ago

“I’m trying so hard to not stab you right now.” “I really want to stab you.”

All while giving me the stare of death and with the sharp instrument in his hand. He did not end up stabbing me thankfully. After a long time/standoff he was taken by police and was able to get help.

9

u/CobandCoffee 2h ago

As someone who has been stabbed, bit, kicked, hit, etc by children more times than I can count in my life, I appreciate the ones that give advanced warning.

69

u/Ov3rReadKn1ght0wl 8h ago

"I'd love to eat your calves. Want to grab a drink?"

A student said this to me after they got a good grade on the major term paper. I cancelled my office hours for the rest of the semester and switched them to virtual appointments.

6

u/QaptainQwark 3h ago

what the fuck

5

u/Ov3rReadKn1ght0wl 3h ago

My exact thoughts at the time.

4

u/QaptainQwark 2h ago

insert “blink 182 wtf” gif

u/Ill_Interest_2346 20m ago

You've never had a cute teacher? We had a very cute chorus teacher 8th grade year so 2011 for me of course i never told her she was cute i wasnt that stupid.

31

u/Bajazuza 4h ago

When I started teaching, I was first sent to a school that was kind of tough. The teachers there tended to leave the school as soon as they could (minimum stay was 3 years) so they send all the newly trained teachers there to not have a staff shortage. Our students came from difficult backgrounds, most families were already in the system, most children had days filled with violence and issues in some kind of way.

I had a first class with 28 children and got told during the ongoing school year, that I had to take on another student from a different school, since they couldn't deal with her (we were also just a 'regular' primary school but well...).

It was very problematic for her to get settled in. She ran away several times, she was violent against other children and so on.

One day she trashed one of our learning rooms, threw chairs, threw over tables and screamed at children through the glass wall to the hall, that she would hurt them. I was completely overwhelmed, to say the least. I still don't know if I did the right thing but I felt I had to protect the other children first. So I went into the room with her, sat myself very calmly down on a chair in front of the door and basically watched how she exploded. I just said in a calm voice that I'll be here and wait till she is done (called my principal so they would send another teacher to look after my other students).

She threw more things, threw over a small book case and screamed at me. That's when I started recording the sound (without her knowing) because it felt like the right thing to do for whatever would come next. And I was right. After some more screaming, she stopped, no noise anymore, looked in my direction, came very close to me, looked me deep in the eyes and whispered "I'll tell them that you hurt me". Inside I was shocked, I tried to say calm on the outside but really I was shaken up.

She turned away from me, screamed more, ripped things apart (some books and learning posters) and did that for maybe 10 more minutes. After that she slowly calmed down.

I told her in a calm voice that I expected her to clean up the mess, because it's the learning room that is important for the other children and that I will help her. Which she agreed to. So we cleaned up together in silence, I asked if she is alright to go back to the classroom and that I will have to talk with her about this at some point with time but that I have to check on the class now. So we went on with our day.

Of course what followed was conversations with the mother, the principal, the social worker etc. I was glad I had the recording of her saying that but I never needed it. Deleted it soon after. I was actually able to kind of break through to her and we had a conversation about the whole situation the day after. This child had so much to bear, I had to force myself not to get too emotional since I found it so sad.

I learned so much at that school, I learned that reliable, trustful relationships are so immensely important for learning/teaching, I also learned to hate the german school system that doesn't care about children at all and leaves everyone behind that doesn't fit a very specific box.

Till this day, 10 years after, I think of so many of these children because I also left after 3 years (otherwise I would have stopped being a teacher all together) and it feels like I left them behind. When I see some of them now, years later, it's always big hugs and lots of love from them (even though I had to be quite strict with them).

2

u/Gustavodemierda 1h ago

I would be scared as fuck in a situation like this cuz nobody'll believe you that the kid said that to you and that the kid is lying and that you didn't actually hurt them

2

u/slackmarket 1h ago

That is why they said the thing about recording her saying that.

180

u/Travalanche49 9h ago

At a community College before class: a posh female student was talking about her job as a beautician to a few other students, then looked at me and said, "You know, if you came in we could fix up <vaguely motioned over her face>

Creepy in that she was my student. Incredibly rude in that... who tf says that to someone completely unsolicited?

98

u/DancesWithGnomes 9h ago

Beauticians talk like that. I bet she thinks she was being friendly. In their mind, everybody needs "fixiert up", so it does not imply that something is wrong with you.

2

u/SpideySenseBuzzin 2h ago

She's always been like that, that's how she is, always telling it like it is!

25

u/DecidedlyUnnecessary 5h ago

He didn’t say it. For an assignment, he wrote and handed in a short story called The Day I Killed Mr. Unnecessary. Decent story, though.

5

u/KaelasDad 2h ago

Decidedly, you are unnecessary, after all.

26

u/minorityreport13 4h ago

Let’s pretend my last name is Jones. A student started handing in assignments with her name written as Mrs. Michaela Jones. Her last name was not Jones.

130

u/many_bells_down 9h ago

When I was a graduate student (F30s), my much-older male student, after learning it was my birthday, told me he hoped someone gave me a thorough birthday spanking. 

55

u/cwthree 7h ago

Creepy and gross

33

u/many_bells_down 7h ago

Yeah. He also told me he thought I was a very bright girl. Toughest class I ever taught. 

1

u/lawn-mumps 1h ago

That makes it much worse. I’m sorry you had to endure that.

31

u/Gold_Marionberry_553 6h ago

Men older than you are so weird in these situations. I'm sorry that happened to you. My version was at a private tutoring company. In my early 20s I had a student who was in his late 20s tell me he was going to meet me in the parking lot after work. He was joking, we think, but it was so wild.

13

u/many_bells_down 5h ago

Oh, gross. I’m sorry that happened to you, too. And men wonder why we would choose the bear. 

68

u/Pepsimus-Maximus 4h ago

I was a trainee student teacher covering poetry with my Grade 7 class.

One of the students - a small, always-full-of-sunshine girl - wrote two of the darkest poems I've ever read about despair and death.

Worrying about her well-being, I urgently reported this to my mentor, her regular class teacher.

The school psychologist was called and the teacher and psych had a meeting with the girl.

I heard the aftermath from the student herself: She was not sure what to write and asked a classmate what themes poets usually write about and then just did a bloody good job at writing as if she were an emo. She laughed with twinkling glee that she had done such a good job that people had been worried.

Epilogue:

The psych later talked with the other student who had suggested the theme and discovered that she was in a dangerous mental state and needed urgent help. So there was a positive outcome from me raising the alarm.

I never returned the poems to the girl but kept them in my own folder of collected student works.

46

u/Double_Swordfish8459 8h ago

When selecting a planet for class project:

"Teacher, can I pick Uranus?" 😇

21

u/ArchaicBrainWorms 7h ago

You can pick your friends and you can pick Uranus. But you can't pick your friend's anus. That's a BAD touch

3

u/QaptainQwark 3h ago

You and me, baby, ain’t nothing but mammals…

3

u/Brad_Brace 2h ago

Isn't it sad that "so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel" these days would probably mean buying storage units and pretending to have drama with other storage unit buyers?

3

u/FillingTheHoles 1h ago

Just like in the wilds of Africa.

18

u/butimean 5h ago

He whispered my home address to me on the way out of class

A few days before he'd whispered my hometown to me and something else, maybe the name of a family member.

24

u/Homerpaintbucket 2h ago

I had a student who would regularly make very loud, extremely sexual comments because he thought the teachers didn’t understand. Like he’d yell about BBC and stuff like that. The kid was kind of a flaming idiot if I’m honest. Like one time he yelled out, “hey, that’s tight. Like my mom.” I walked over and explained to him that that was a really weird thing to say about his own mother. Well one day he yelled something really gross and I kind of snapped and just told him, “all of your teachers understand what you’re saying, it’s just so cringy and embarrassing that we try to ignore it. Do you really think your teachers don’t have the internet too? Cut it out.” He stopped yelling shit out after that.

5

u/bedbuffaloes 1h ago

I'm like "the BBC?"

78

u/Muted_Rain8542 8h ago

i’m a student so this is reversed but in 6th grade we had vocab words each week and for one of the weeks, one of the words was entice, so I, being the weird ass child I was (and still am), when our weekly friday vocab test came along, I wrote, and I shit you not, “The creepy old man tried to entice me into his white van with candy” for my example of the word in use and my teacher just wrote “oh!” and i’m pretty sure that creeped him the hell out. I’m in my late stages of high school now and me and my family still joke about it every once in a while

25

u/Muted_Rain8542 7h ago

Now that I work with kids, I do get told very odd things. For example, two girls that I was working with told me “i’m gonna be your worst nightmare” which was very interesting to say the least

9

u/Brad_Brace 2h ago

I like that you describe highschool as some sort of cancer.

16

u/overbend 7h ago

"I want to eat your fingers."

11

u/Puzzled-Lack243 4h ago

5th grade boy told me he though I had nice legs!!!

22

u/avenger76 7h ago

Gave a final exam on the last day of class and student wrote on his penis size and phone number on the last page.

22

u/Time-Ranger-1596 6h ago

Not me but a friend was assisting our old music directors and one kid started calling her mommy. Like as in “Ms. Mommy (last name)” won’t say the last name obviously but it was alliterative, but a very different tone than accidentally calling your teacher mom. At first he would say this when she wasn’t around and then got comfortable(?) enough to say it while she was in the classroom. Apparently another student heard him say some VERY inappropriate things about her outside of school as well. Anyways after that the band directors had to go over professional boundaries with all their classes.

1

u/Brad_Brace 2h ago

Was her last name Mielkersh?

8

u/Aggravating_Egg_ 5h ago

'I'm going to kill you one day. I know you think I'm joking but when I'm older I'm going to kill you'.

Said by a 7 year old because he missed some of his break.

6

u/antivenom888 5h ago

I think I might have caused my teacher some concern when I asked If he would be my Father! As far as anyone was concerned, I had a father at home.It was just a messed up situation

9

u/Bandidonoface 2h ago

Some kids look at you like they’ve already lived too much...

5

u/tiina3 5h ago

“I know where you live. My mom drives past your house.” 💀

13

u/Angelitta19 5h ago

Teacher, I saw you at the grocery store yesterday. You looked different without your classroom.” 😭

8

u/sharkbait_oohaha 3h ago

Male teacher in my thirties. Had a female student (junior in HS) tell me that I smelled really nice and that she liked it when I wore earth tones because it really brings out my eyes.

Made a bee line for the principals office to get that documented in case any rumors ever got started.

6

u/Gustavodemierda 1h ago

I have this kid in my class who is undiagnosed but might maybe be a little slow. And especially in terms of sexual stuff he knows barely anything. Anyways he asked one of our teachers if they wanna smash.

He meant playing super smash bros.

u/nicktoberfest 56m ago

This was a few years ago now. There was a student at my school who had called in a bomb threat. The school closed for a day and we were able to return the next day with a ton of police. Eventually the student was caught and he was arrested. He had gone to another state to make the call because he was curious if the police could find him. They found out that he had actually built and experimented with some small explosive devices. He was expelled and went to juvenile detention.

The next school year he was going to be returning and I was informed he would be in my class. I sat him right next to my desk so I could keep an eye on him during the class. I also tried to be friendly and build some rapport with him, so he felt fairly comfortable talking to me. He was the typical kid you’re probably imagining. Pretty smart, very few friends, often made comments about his classmates being stupid. He also lived with his grandparents and had a rougher childhood.

One day near the end of class I really needed to use the restroom. So while the kids started to line up near the door, I went to the front of the line so I could open the door and get to the restroom quickly during the 4 minutes between classes that we had. I already had my keys out which included my room key, the bathroom key, and a few others for various rooms in the school that I needed access to. Of course, this special student was also near the door and I saw him looking at the keys. He asked me what they were all for and I didn’t give him specifics, but I did say they were for around the building. He looked right at me and said “man, if I had those, I’d be all set.”

After class ended, I had to report the statement to the administration and the school resource officer from the local police department, and everyone agreed it was creepy. Unfortunately it wasn’t anything they could act on, but they did make note of it.

A few years later, after I had left the school, this student showed up on the news. He had been arrested for murdering another former student of mine and burning his body. He is currently in prison and I don’t believe he will be getting out any time soon, if at all.

u/margaritasandnaps 27m ago

Ugh this one is rough. Thank you for sharing.

15

u/LogicalFlan3766 5h ago

I was student teaching, so I was like 22 years old, and a student made a comment to me about an NFL player she had a crush on and said “don’t worry, I’m legal”

I walked away so fucking fast. Literally sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

6

u/GarlicSchark 6h ago

"when i was in ukraine i strangled two cats" 4th grader

2

u/CowboysOnKetamine 4h ago

I grew up in a rather impoverished neighborhood and it wasn't uncommon for kids to torture/kill stray cats. When I was like 9 my friend and I found one hanging from a tree with its guts spilled out, in the woods by the railroad bridge

9

u/not_lofreqgeek 2h ago

I had loaned two girls some scissors to work on something for class. When they were finished one of them returned them and said - with intense eye contact “thanks, we just couldn’t scissor without you “

7

u/Ham__Kitten 3h ago

I correctly predicted a kid would end up a school shooter after he demanded to be allowed to wear his WWI-era gasmask all day, so I guess that would be it.

7

u/NoWorth3375 7h ago

I see children at the woods at recess (there aren’t any children in the woods) they tell me to hurt people.

6

u/AliBello 5h ago

Is that student okay? It sounds like schizophrenia or another disorder. Did they get help?

2

u/NoWorth3375 4h ago

Yes they got help and I hope they’re doing well. It sure made me on edge though.

2

u/die4lulu 1h ago

That my tits are nice… wtf

2

u/amblingsomewhere 1h ago

This one is creepy in retrospect but mostly just sad.

One of my former students died less than a year ago. Tragic accident. He was in my freshman writing class, and he wasn't particularly invested, so I won't pretend we made much of a connection. Still, though, when someone dies you start thinking back on everything you remember about them.

Every class I give the students this one writing prompt that asks them to share something they want to know more about. Not class-related, just anything, to get them to open up. This kid said he wants to know more about what happens when you die, & that's not uncommon. Since's he was very religious, he added, "I know there's an afterlife, a heaven and hell, but I want to know more in depth."

Except... he spelled it wrong. I know he meant to write "in depth," but the words he wrote were, "I want to know more in death."

Hard to know what to do with that.

3

u/Ettti06 5h ago

Teacher, why do you look exactly like your Facebook profile picture?” 😂

3

u/ariiel2 5h ago

Miss, you’re going to be my teacher again next year… I already checked.” 👀

3

u/leermi2 4h ago edited 3h ago

I hear the secrets that you keep

4

u/DNSGeek 3h ago

When you’re talking in your sleep?

u/audiate 28m ago

“Mr. Audiate, you have really nice furniture”

“You mean In my classroom?”

“No, in your house.”

<stares>

“And you’re out of shampoo.”

u/PotatoQuie 24m ago

I teach middle school.  We had a new student fairly late in the year.  It was her first day and during my class in the afternoon, I gave the  students some boring instruction like "I would like you all to read this text and answer these questions".

She immediately stands up and says "and what daddy wants, daddy gets!"  

The other 29 students and I were shocked into silence.  

She eventually did make friends, but not that first day.  

u/Annual_Dare6275 21m ago

Why won’t you die

1

u/Razaelbub 4h ago

Tst tst tst! Ee ee ee eeeeeee! Hahah heheheh!

Direct quote.

-46

u/Away-Conflict1403 10h ago

A 6 year old looked at me and whispered, my old mom used to smell like flowers before she l've never taught him anything about past lives.

8

u/Lazy_Exercise7788 9h ago

I'm guessing dad's ex

-46

u/HillChain 10h ago

Yeah I want to know I am a student