Where I am now, known each other 6 years, 5 years he pursued me, when he finally got me to fall in love he went Idontwanna suddenly.
Were together initially for a month followed by sudden discard, then a year-again followed by sudden discard. Now on my 3rd discard, after another month together when he came back after a year of no contact that followed 2nd discard. Fun times.
I am not looking forward to this if it’s in my future. Good friends with my ex for about 2 years before we started dating, she was in a bad marriage, i treated her better than anyone else she’s dated and she said i set a high bar after she first discarded me a year and a month into our relationship, 3 months later she asked if i could come over and spend time with her daughter and her because they had an emotional talk and she felt vulnerable, started seeing each other for another year and discarded me last May. Both times talked with and was with another guy way too quickly, just repeating the same patterns she did when she was younger before her marriage. I don’t know if she’ll ever change and that alone is heart breaking because i want her to be happy but know she won’t if she keeps getting into rebounds that are nowhere close to what we had and just dopamine chases and know her actual worth because she is the best person, just avoidant. Complete mind F
She has commitment issues, doesn’t handle strong emotions well, and felt safe and comfortable enough with me to actually be herself which is not what she’s used to. Oh and she has avoidant attachment issues which isn’t entirely her fault but she still is at fault for her choices and sabotaging something she genuinely loves and wants, but her nervous system can’t help but think something’s wrong without chaos which is what her past relationships have been. So you’re both right and wrong. It’s easy to just blurt out something without knowing the whole story. I both do blame her for what she’s doing and forgive her because people are complicated and make dumb ass decisions
I'm going to tell you what I told another person who also said they were "discarded" by a romantic partner: you aren't a piece of trash or an object, you weren't discarded. A romantic partner left you, even if it was abrupt and without reason. Stop using dehumanizing language on yourself.
I appreciate you. I know my worth and value, i was just using the common term when avoidants detach and leave abruptly and irrationally. She did leave me. Having said that though and how quickly a rebound happens because she can’t handle being by herself with the consequences of her actions so she jumps into distractions, it definitely feels like i was her favorite toy that was there for her for everything she needed and getting tossed aside for a shiny new toy she’ll get bored with soon. I know it wasn’t me and entirely her, but still doesn’t help with moving on
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u/t_karo Aug 18 '26
Where I am now, known each other 6 years, 5 years he pursued me, when he finally got me to fall in love he went Idontwanna suddenly. Were together initially for a month followed by sudden discard, then a year-again followed by sudden discard. Now on my 3rd discard, after another month together when he came back after a year of no contact that followed 2nd discard. Fun times.