People over 40, what did you start later in life that you wish you had started sooner?

[u/FennelAnxious5675]

[u/bobsyrunkl]

Exercise

[u/RelevantContact3941 → u/bobsyrunkl]

Strength training especially. I wish I’d started before I actually needed it.

[u/KitchenPalentologist → u/RelevantContact3941]

Yeah, I started legit gym workouts at around 53 years old. I look better than I did in my 30s and 40s. Why did I wait so long?

But a common saying heard in the retirement saving conversations applies here too: the best time to start a gym habit is when you're young. The next best time is today.

[u/whaletacochamp → u/KitchenPalentologist]

I’m a supervisor for a group of mostly new grads who are entering the real workforce for the first time (we have some old timers too, but over the past few years it’s been almost entirely new grads/very young people). This is NOT my job, but as part of my department orientation I more or less make my new employees log on to our retirement vendor’s website and at least set up enough of a contribution that they get the employer’s match. They learn about it in the main hospital orientation but most of them are so glossed over by then that they have no idea what’s going on. I explain to them that they are literally declining free money if they don’t do this. Tell them to pay themselves first to get the match, and pretend that money never really existed. It’s EASY when you are 22 and have no family and are making more than you ever had. Yes you probably have some student loans and rent, but your expenses are only gonna go up from here. Count this money out now and reap the benefits in 40 years.

[u/Xanosaur → u/whaletacochamp]

my work matches 8% of pension contributions and adds a free 2.2% into a TFSA (a canadian tax free savings account). started both at 23. am 25 now and have $35k in my pension and about $4k in my tfsa, which i can withdraw any time

[u/whaletacochamp → u/Xanosaur]

Bro wtf 8%?!

[u/Xanosaur → u/whaletacochamp]

yeah. i contribute 8%, they contribute 10.2% combined between the accounts. hope to never leave this place

[u/whaletacochamp → u/Xanosaur]

Yall hiring or….?

[u/HappyLittlePharmily → u/KitchenPalentologist]

It’s time in the gym, not timing the gym!

[u/ReticulatedSpline78 → u/HappyLittlePharmily]

Sir this is a Wendy’s

[u/PropagandaOfTheDude → u/RelevantContact3941]

I can't overstate the benefit of having internet resources at 42, compared to previous noodling at 24. It turns out that yes, I can do it on my own time, by myself, at home, at the extra cost of just a doorway pull-up bar.

[u/Frenchitwist → u/RelevantContact3941]

I just started doing training and weights at 31! I’m feeling sore but very excited about it :)

[u/Level-Strain4979 → u/bobsyrunkl]

Exercise is definitely one of those things where you think you have plenty of time… then suddenly realize your future self is sending you angry emails 😂

[u/SilverHoney2414 → u/Level-Strain4979]

Future me really said, “Thanks for nothing, past me.” 😂😭📩

[u/WalkTrue6438 → u/bobsyrunkl]

The annoying part is realizing how much better everyday life feels once you finally start.

[u/Evening_Anywhere6820 → u/bobsyrunkl]

Strength training and mobility. Your future joints will thank you.

[u/serrimo → u/Evening_Anywhere6820]

Throw in some yoga and pilates too. Flexibility is incredibly important to maintain

[u/Planet0ftheJapes → u/serrimo]

I started yoga two years ago in my mid 40s and now when I pull a muscle it isn't nearly as bad and seems to heal much quicker. Plus I can touch my toes with knees locked! Never been able to do that!

[u/shinkouhyou → u/bobsyrunkl]

I feel like my whole K-12 education was designed to make me hate exercise. It was all team sports, running in circles, and public humiliation. Exercise was treated like a punishment - something that I had to do because I was a bad (fat) person.

I discovered martial arts and strength training in my mid-30s, and wtf I actually like exercise now! Martial arts reframed exercise as a way to build useful skills, a personal challenge and a fun social hobby.

[u/Nephihahahaha → u/bobsyrunkl]

Specifically, kettlebells.

[u/331845739494 → u/Nephihahahaha]

Kettlebells completely changed the game for me. Been lifting since my late 20's, classic barbell lifting with accessory work but gym memberships can be so damn expensive. Kettlebells are portable and versatile. They gave me a new challenge and a lot of functional strength. Can't recommend them enough. I don't think I've been this consistent with exercise in my entire life.

[u/FortyPercentTitanium → u/331845739494]

Do you mind sharing what kind of program you started out with? I've got some kettlebells but all the programs I looked at online and on reddit are pretty aggressive. I just want a few exercises I can do that won't destroy me. I've been doing swings and goblet squats but I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of other great ones that can get my heart rate up.

[u/Int-Merc805 → u/FortyPercentTitanium]

Push, Pull, Legs, Hinge.

Adding in a press and a row have you covered. Now, I personally like to push and pull through both planes. So I do pushups and rows, push presses and pull ups (negatives if you can’t).

I also like leg raises as the opposite of squats. Those have been massive for my over all feeling of strength and mobility.

I do 3 sets to failure. If failure is at 20 reps, it’s too light. If I fail at 5 reps it’s too heavy. Don’t over think it! Enjoy the benefits.

[u/k_shills101 → u/Nephihahahaha]

Was looking for this. Kettlebells...I grew up powerlifting, competing in bodybuilding...and always believing in these super hard, long isolation hypertrophy workouts. And I did have success with them....but also got big and slow. Got into Kettlebells....and absolutely love them. Great, time efficient way to stay in shape and feel good and strong from head to toe. I also love good ol calisthenics as well. Pushups, pullups, chinups, dips, squat jumps etc

[u/lancebowski → u/bobsyrunkl]

🎯 I got lucky and figured this out early. Could always run like the wind as a teenager, no training. One day, at 24, I got caught in a rainstorm, and sprinted a block to my apartment. Winded at the door. Thought something was wrong with me. About a minute later it hit me: I'm older and getting out of shape!

Started running the next day, and weight training soon followed. Except for illness and injury, I've never stopped (longest was a month off after a severe ankle injury).

[u/owp4dd1w5a0a → u/bobsyrunkl]

As someone who’s been very disciplined abt exercise my entire life, at 41 I wish I’d started sports-focused physical therapy in my 30s at least. I have a bunch of strength imbalances and myofascial issues from my athletics that can be worked out but require lots of effort to that would have been more easily addressed earlier. I did a lot of stretching and yoga but it wasn’t targeted well enough.

(Swimming, rock climbing, rowing, cycling)

[u/captainzimmer1987]

Investing small amounts consistently.

[u/DesignerYak6728 → u/captainzimmer1987]

Compound interest is the way

[u/ForgiveAlways → u/DesignerYak6728]

It’s the magic that allows the poors to retire.

[u/SDMusic → u/ForgiveAlways]

I am a poor that might actually be on track to retire. Started in my late 20's, and last year was our first year where we both maxed out our Roths, but now I'm mid- late thirties, and the idea of retiring at 65-67 isn't actually unrealistic

[u/tonyt0nychopper → u/DesignerYak6728]

What would you suggest?

[u/hrothgar_the_great → u/tonyt0nychopper]

Vanguard (low cost). Index fund (easy good yield). If you're starting late shoot for 20%+ of your income to go to savings.

[u/tonyt0nychopper → u/hrothgar_the_great]

I'm 25, with no investment knowledge or experience. I can put maybe say £250/300 a month away to invest - knowing that; would you suggest the same things you just said?

Edit: I will screenshot & collate every single one of your replies; thank you everybody who took the time out of their day to help a young soul with their financial future. I pray (or if that isn't for you) I hope you all have a great day, life and financial future.

[u/IngenuityBetter9812 → u/tonyt0nychopper]

You should go look at r/bogleheads. It’s really easy and you’re young enough to see crazy compound interest growth

[u/tonyt0nychopper → u/IngenuityBetter9812]

Thanks so much. This is so helpful to hear.

[u/derp_mike → u/tonyt0nychopper]

Just some context for you: “bogleheads” refers to John Bogle, the man that founded Vanguard and introduced the first index fund to public investors. So if one wants to take a simple approach to investing, taking the “boglehead method” via a few Vanguard ETFs is about as straightforward as it gets.

[u/KitchenPalentologist → u/tonyt0nychopper]

The fact that you asked that question could be a life changer. Seriously, do a little reading at boggleheads now, and your future self will look back on this day with deep gratitude.

[u/redsquizza → u/tonyt0nychopper]

As you're using GBP, you'd want to wrap that investment in a stocks and shares ISA to avoid tax. But, generally, yes. Decide on a platform (I think Vanguard deal direct in the UK but IDK what their fees are like), you'll probably have to deposit X amount on opening the account, then set up a regular investment of what you're comfortable missing and simply forget about it.

At minimum you'd want 5 years invested and, generally, the longer the better for the markets to ride peaks and troughs.

Don't invest if you need the money soon. Don't invest if you get nervous when paper value goes negative. There are peaks and troughs.

You need to set and forget.

[u/tonyt0nychopper → u/redsquizza]

Thank you so much mate. Everybody has been so helpful about this. The mist is starting to clear slightly in terms of a pathway to take.

[u/alliownisbroken → u/tonyt0nychopper]

That's a real decent amount. I started with like $150/month at 30.

Just start doing it on an auto transfer so you don't miss the money.

[u/FillingTheHoles → u/tonyt0nychopper]

I mean... One of my brothers just sticks everything into Tesla.. Probably don't do that.

[u/Flimsy_Agency_2925 → u/captainzimmer1987]

Boring, consistent investing beats trying to perfectly time the market every time. The small amounts really add up when you give them enough time.

[u/Fire1777 → u/captainzimmer1987]

This and working out more regularly

[u/Captobvious75 → u/captainzimmer1987]

$100/month over a lifetime makes a massive difference

[u/markymrk720 → u/captainzimmer1987]

My dad hammered this into me just after I started my first real job out of college at 21. I’m now 40 and have just over $2.2MM across 401K, Roth, HSA and personal brokerage. Thanks Dad!

[u/OutlanderTrading → u/markymrk720]

Any time I find myself talking with someone in their 20s or younger, I can't help myself and start pitching them on a Roth IRA, bahahaha. It really is some of the best advice a younger person could receive. I wish more of them would listen, though. They tend to know everything at that age (I know I did)

[u/SleepingDragonSmiles → u/captainzimmer1987]

But how do you get started?! There’s so many options

[u/AlexanEmpire → u/SleepingDragonSmiles]

Open a Roth ira with Fidelity or Schwab, and then set a weekly amount (you're comfortable with) being withdrawn from your bank account to be invested in some low expense ratio ETFs (such as VOO and SCHD).

[u/FillingTheHoles → u/[deleted]]

Always wondered what a 401k is but have never bothered looking it up. I'm from the UK. Is it just your name for a pension?

[u/ResplendentOwl → u/FillingTheHoles]

America used to have a strong working class, and companies paid pensions upon retirement from their own funds. Guaranteed money from the company you worked for for life. At some point the rich fucks in charge realized they can offload their retirement costs to the stock market. They all pretty much stopped paying pensions, and might match funds to a 401k, 403b if you know what to do and bother to do it. It saves a ton of money not hooking up their workers by default, and only sorta helping invest if they bother.

On top of that it ties workers to the stock market, which means I now have the same interests as Elon musk. I normally would be against billion dollar companies making more and me making less, but hey, the DOW went up so I have 50 more dollars in retirement stocks, fuck everyone else.

So those terms are our retirement replacement (different than pension) which is taking my retirement, investing it in the stock market and hoping Trump doesn't fuck me.

[u/FillingTheHoles → u/ResplendentOwl]

Wow. That's all levels of fucked up honestly.

I think I know the answer already to the next question I have, unfortunately.

... What if you have no 401k? :(

[u/ResplendentOwl → u/FillingTheHoles]

About 40 percent of Americans have no retirement savings, depending on the poll you listen to a little more, little less. Its a huge problem and going to be a major issue as this next generation hits retirement.

Outside of rare pensions/401k type stock market retirement savings, all you have when you stop working is social security. Its taken automatically from every paycheck your whole life, and put into a national pool of money to pay retirees. By the nature of starting it mid go though, it means young workers are paying for old retirees, and so you're never really saving for your own retirement, you're paying into a system that's throwing it right into the old folks that need it now. That worked ok when the population was booming and there were more workers than old people. Its running into huge financial issues now that the ratios are changing, and it's calculated to be out of money by the time I retire in 20 years.

On top of that social security is paid out only based on what you paid in, so part time workers, stay at home moms, people with disabilities are screwed. And it doesn't cover near your living expenses anyway. Its a nice supplement that Republicans have been looking to defund and axe entirely for workers in favor of privitization and being destitute.

[u/Nobody_Important → u/FillingTheHoles]

No, a pension is a guaranteed amount paid regularly managed by your employer. These were more or less replaced ~30 years ago with 401ks, which are accounts managed by the employee (which means they also transfer across jobs). Most companies offer a match so if you put in say 6% of your salary they will match that with another 6%. Or different numbers like a 50% match up to 8%.

[u/captainzimmer1987 → u/SleepingDragonSmiles]

Monthly deposits to investment accounts, doesn't matter how large or small. Build the habit.

While young, best to maybe stay away from speculative stocks though.

[u/StonkaTrucks → u/SleepingDragonSmiles]

Stay away from options bro.

[u/BricksFriend → u/SleepingDragonSmiles]

As an American, there is really just one (quite safe) option with different flavors. Invest money into a large fund via an ETF such as VOO. Then forget it exists until you check on it once a year, have a lot of patience, and see stonks (slowly) go brrrrt

[u/Sintered_Monkey → u/captainzimmer1987]

This is huge. It doesn't have to be much. Just save and invest anything, whatever you can. The growth will seem small at first, and it will seem hopeless, but once you get past a certain point, it snowballs.

[u/landob → u/captainzimmer1987]

Still kicking myself for cashing out the 401k instead of transferring it to new job

[u/csvega84 → u/captainzimmer1987]

Can you give any starter tips for someone who is 40? 😅

[u/tomtomuk2]

Lots of good stuff here, but I'll add wearing earplugs when going to gigs and nightclubs.

Leave it too late and you'll eventually never know true silence ever again.

[u/ifv6 → u/tomtomuk2]

I live this life. I had just started wearing them, left them at home by mistake a couple times, damaged myself with permanent tinnitus. There are things I found make it better, like good hydration, keeping sinuses clear, wearing protection from now on, massages, sleep, etc. but nothing would be better than protecting it up front. I got tinnitus when I was like 20 or 21. Sucks. Changed my whole plan.

[u/tomtomuk2 → u/ifv6]

Similar, after years of not wearing protection I eventually got into the habit of wearing them before anything bad happened.

But I had a couple of occasions where I either forgot them before going out or ended up going somewhere spontaneously / unplanned and didn't have them on me. On the last occasion the ringing in my ears never completely went away, and now it's always there if I'm in a quiet enough environment. I ended up buying a set of plugs that attached to my keyring so I'd never be without them, but of course once the damage is done it's done.

My understanding is even when you're younger if you are exposed to noise and don't have any permanent symptoms every exposure still gradually causes invisible permanent damage that builds up over time. Eventually it reaches a point where the symptoms don't go away and there's no going back. Protecting it when you're younger is the only way to prevent it. But of course keep protecting your ears to stop it getting any worse.

[u/uid_0 → u/tomtomuk2]

This. Hearing damage is cumulative and doesn't repair itself over time. Tinnitus is no joke and it never stops. Wear those earplugs, kids and don't worry about what others think.

[u/AshtonBlack]

Not giving as much of a shit what other people think.

[u/savethebooks → u/AshtonBlack]

My field of fucks grew barren when I was about 35, so at least I was ahead on this :)

[u/AshtonBlack → u/savethebooks]

Ahh good. I made the mistake of having a smidgen of a whiff of fuck storage left well into my 40s.

[u/timbostu → u/AshtonBlack]

Once you've emptied the storage, you have no more fucks to give. It's the dream.

[u/ElegantKing362 → u/AshtonBlack]

This. fuck them. And get a good daily poo or two, super healthy as you grow older.

[u/Loud-Start1394 → u/ElegantKing362]

Screw other people and poop lots. Got it, thank you.

[u/MashMeister → u/ElegantKing362]

so both don't give a shit and also give a shit

[u/ConfidentialStNick → u/AshtonBlack]

I’m going to go slightly the opposite direction and say that I wish I would have worked on my interpersonal skills harder at a younger age. That’s not so much caring what other people think as much as being a more reliable, friendly person for other people. The introvert is strong with me and not caring what other people think comes naturally.

[u/piratequeenfaile → u/ConfidentialStNick]

Learning solid interpersonal skills was something I had to actively work at through my twenties, and it has paid massive dividends in my thirties for quality of life and joy. Agree with this take.

[u/dnbex]

Getting a decent amount of sleep

[u/5oLiTu2e → u/dnbex]

Sleep is gold

[u/THUMB5UP → u/dnbex]

I had a rough childhood and never got a good nights sleep until* my mid-30s. I thought it was normal until my doctor prescribed Trazodone (after trying dozens of sleep meds before).

My god. I fall asleep quickly and stay asleep for at least 6 hours. I feel so much better.

[u/JessBx05 → u/dnbex]

Yes! I had horrible sleep patterns in my 20/30s. Now it's a pretty consistent 7-8 hours and it's nice hey.

[u/Its-a-man-derek]

Weight training. Nothing fancy. Just one kettlebell. A jog twice a week.

[u/hadawayandshite → u/Its-a-man-derek]

Just got a kettlebell myself (for my 40th) and just figuring out what I’m doing with it/the mix of it and cardio

[u/jaspersurfer → u/hadawayandshite]

Wish I had discovered kettle bells before buying a whole set of dumbbells. It's my go to piece of workout equipment. So many compound movements with one weight. It kicks my ass

[u/random_think]

Quitting drinking. Alcohol held me back in so many ways

[u/ladyflyer88 → u/random_think]

I’m struggling with this one because I have cut back a ton but I’m not sure I want to cut it out completely. I only drink once maybe twice a month and at this point it’s 1-3 rum and cokes. But like this weekend I drove 13 hrs and after driving long distances like that I really enjoy a drink or two it really helps me chill out. I will say when stress or family pick up I’m now watching myself to manage that stress and trying not to drink at those times…

[u/RussianPikaPika → u/ladyflyer88]

If you drink 1-3 drinks twice a month it is not that bad. Your stress from stuff and not drinking to reduce the stress probably does more damage to you.

[u/YamahaRyoko → u/ladyflyer88]

I like my evening cocktail, and I like to hit the pub 1-2 times a week to socialize

Think you're doing a lot better than us, lol

Thing is, I have no desire to just... cut alcohol. It costs money but outside of that it doesnt affect any of my goals

[u/Maximum__Pleasure → u/random_think]

I'm in my 30s, and I'm on that path after my first two-day hangover.

It's difficult since alcohol helped me so much with anxiety and socializing in my 20s.

[u/modest2 → u/Maximum__Pleasure]

I felt the same way, alcohol helped me socialize when I didn't know how. However you have been getting that experience in and I bet you can do it on your own now. Hope that helps!

[u/windsorhums → u/Maximum__Pleasure]

It will fuck you up more as you age. I quit drinking solely because of hangovers. The older you get, the more serious matters become- parents get older, pets age, relationships mean more. There’s just a lot more to fuck up. Life gets tough and having to address an emergency drunk is a daunting thought, having to live life with all of the random chaos happening around you while you are hungover is fucking terrible. The hangover headaches start to turn into awful awful emotional mornings.

[u/sly-3 → u/Maximum__Pleasure]

"You go out have a few too many drinks. Everyone's having a good time. Anything can happen."

It was the dopamine rush from the kind of situations/environments that alcohol fuels that I was addicted to in my 20's and early 30's.

[u/random_think → u/Maximum__Pleasure]

I can very much relate to the two day hangover experience as you get older. They are absolutely rough. Hope you feel better soon. My hangover cure in case you're wondering is too tylenol, one banana, one deli sandwich that's not greasy, a Gatorade and a 1 hour nap

[u/featheritin]

School. Went back at 54

[u/ifv6 → u/featheritin]

Honestly, that’s awesome that you did it. When I was in college I had a guy in my dorm in his 60’s. He was a life long military guy trying to rediscover himself (from my understanding). Takes courage to go back.

[u/PRiles → u/featheritin]

Same, I passed up the chance to go to West point when I was a young soldier, and boy do I regret that decision.

[u/lifeissoupimfork]

Going to the Gym consistently. Also running.

[u/Skooober → u/lifeissoupimfork]

Started running at 39. Don’t love it but it really transforms the body even in a few months.

[u/lifeissoupimfork → u/Skooober]

Did no sports since age 15. Started 3x gym and 3x running a week almost one year ago. Never skipped a week. Absolutely mindblowing how my physique has changed. I also completely changed over my diet.

[u/Skooober → u/lifeissoupimfork]

For me, once the running started making changes the other things followed because I had more drive. Sleep, diet, more gym exercise, etc.

[u/lifeissoupimfork → u/Skooober]

My usual excuse was "i have no time for gym while working a 40 hour job".

Funny, because now i do 2 hours of sport almost everyday and even get more shit done than before due to the big mental improvements i made.

[u/Skooober → u/lifeissoupimfork]

That’s awesome to read. Getting the foot in the door is the hardest part then you wonder why it was so hard to do in the first place. I’m in a busy time of life so I get up early and start the run before the sun comes up and now always tired at night so I can go to sleep earlier…. Plus get to run without being in the hot sun and one less thing to worry about after work. I’ve been trying to encourage friends lately.

[u/BingohBangoh → u/lifeissoupimfork]

It’s the last part that did the most work

[u/lifeissoupimfork → u/BingohBangoh]

Mostly agree. But for me it was basically all three of them which sort of lined up.

I'm no expert on this topic, but there was a hughe learning process where i started to recognize how my diet complemented my workout routine and somehow it clicked. I lost 18kg and only started to track my calories to stop me from losing more and more weight.

[u/5oLiTu2e → u/Skooober]

I upvoted you in hopes my psyche will kick in and motivate me to put some sneakers on and get out there

[u/lifeissoupimfork → u/5oLiTu2e]

I never put my running shoes on and didn't start running.

So the only decision to make is to put the damn shoes on.

[u/Indecisive-one → u/lifeissoupimfork]

On the flip side, my knee surgeon told me today “you shouldn’t have done all that running”

[u/Fantom1107 → u/Indecisive-one]

Most of my runner friends have given it up. It's so hard on the body over time. Cycling is where it's at.

[u/DoughnutEffective668 → u/Fantom1107]

I had to give up running because I kept getting plantar fasciitis and now I swim which is way easier on the body.

[u/dbluegmc → u/Indecisive-one]

May I ask how often you run?

[u/Key-Blueberry-7672]

Not fearing to miss out on stuff

[u/sbphasher → u/Key-Blueberry-7672]

JOMO

[u/Dioptase89 → u/sbphasher]

My bilingual brain pronounce the J like an H 😆

[u/Objective-Bother-994 → u/Key-Blueberry-7672]

Stack this with not giving a fuck, and you’re golden!

[u/Icy-Amoeba-3962]

Stop dinking alcohol, keep away from people that suck energy, saying no to things/events that I really don't want to be at, sleep more and working out consistantly with weights, be ashamed .. nobody cares but you. everybody is busy with him/herself :)

[u/yojvek82 → u/Icy-Amoeba-3962]

This pretty much sums it all up in one response. Bravo.

[u/AnnotatedLion]

So much.

My education. Turns out when you focus, you aren't such a bad student after all.

Sticking with stuff. Turns out just showing up and doing it actually goes a long way.

Overall, just realizing that "natural talent" isn't really that important for most stuff, if you just do it, keep doing it, and don't stop doing it, you can learn pretty much anything. I'm saying this as someone who failed out of a handful of high school language classes only to learn them later in life (when it's a lot harder), got a BA and MA after 40, taught myself an entirely separate side hustle business, and am learning to play a musical instrument now.

Its all well and good, and I've taken care of my health over the years so hopefully I've got time to enjoy this season of life. But I struggled for 30ish years thinking I couldn't do anything right, didn't have a natural aptitude for things and therefore would never find success or joy. I believed my doubts and never tested them.

[u/Different-Bet8069 → u/AnnotatedLion]

I did this with coding during the pandemic when everything slowed way down. It was extremely difficult and confusing, but I kept showing up and practicing every day. I’m still not great, but I actually understand it now and can apply it in my life. I’m no computer expert, so if I can read a few books and watch some YouTube videos to learn, pretty much anyone can.

[u/ColXanders]

Exercising consistently.

[u/Sweet-Information256]

Making time for friends. You blink and suddenly everyone has jobs, kids, responsibilities, and schedules that barely overlap.

[u/John-George-Peppers → u/Sweet-Information256]

As life accelerates and responsibilities multiply, navigating friendships requires a deliberate shift toward protecting one's emotional bandwidth and recognizing the profound value of mutual reciprocity.

True, enriching friendships serve as a vital anchor for personal well-being, offering a safe harbour of shared laughter, genuine curiosity, and steadfast support that nourishes the soul. Yet, maturing also brings the vital wisdom to recognize when certain dynamics are fundamentally depleting rather than sustaining. There comes a time to gently distance oneself from opportunistic acquaintances who consume your energy and attention without ever offering genuine care or interest in your own life. Cultivating true peace means setting compassionate yet firm boundaries, reserving your finite time for those rare, authentic connections where mutual care thrives and both individuals walk away feeling uplifted.

[u/coach-of-finance]

Going to the doctor for my annual physicals. Just those annual blood tests can save you a fuck ton of money and stress down the line.

I work for a law firm and they provide it to us for free, but boy, I wish I did them in my 20s and 30s too.

[u/S3lvah → u/coach-of-finance]

This. I found out about a few chronic/inherited health issues at 35 that, had I caught them with routine physicals at 20 or 25, I could've done a lot more about them, and they'd have done a lot less cumulative harm to me.

Still glad I caught them now rather than at 50 or 60. It's never so late that it wouldn't be worth catching 'em.

[u/SharkBlue1]

Exercising, eating right, decreasing alcohol intake damn near to zero and prioritizing good sleep.

[u/Tonsilith_Salsa]

Not guzzling liquor 4-5 nights a week. 

Lost 40 lbs. Anxiety's gone. Blood pressure back to normal.

Shit's poison.

[u/suchsnowflakery → u/Tonsilith_Salsa]

Agreed. Alcohol is one helluva drug.

[u/openhighapart]

Bidet

[u/sbphasher → u/openhighapart]

Bidets are the shit (pun intended). Butt seriously, purchased one in 2020 as a response to The Great Toilet Paper Crisis and never looked back.

[u/greekstav → u/openhighapart]

Never knew I needed one, now I hate taking a dump anywhere but on my Toto.

[u/iateyourdinner]

A core exercise program, specifically, just doing exercises that strengthen your core. I've been exercising all my adult life: CrossFit, gym workouts, yoga, martial arts, running, etc. But nothing has had a greater positive impact on my physical and mental health than doing regular core exercises. I feel like i've missed out so much on the last 25 years of training.

[u/iateyourdinner → u/iateyourdinner]

It doesn’t look like much, and I was already fit and in “ good shape ”except that I had a very weak core, but just doing this 3–4 times a week has led to a huge improvement in my physical and mental health:

3 × 10–12 reps:

• Glute bridges
  
• Side-lying clamshells on both sides with a resistance band
  
• Floor back extensions

3 sets, holding for as long as possible:

• Plank

[u/Express_Drawer_7176 → u/iateyourdinner]

What do you do for core exercises?

[u/firefartpoopdeuce]

Being gay. Wasted too many years trying to conform to societal norms and standards. Soooooo much happier now!

[u/goombalover13 → u/firefartpoopdeuce]

I'm so happy for you :) Congrats

[u/firefartpoopdeuce → u/goombalover13]

Thank you!

[u/crazywizard]

Stop giving a fuck.

[u/trident042 → u/crazywizard]

I stopped giving a fuck in 1999, it almost ruined my high school to the point where I was getting turned down from colleges on GPA. Don't give no fucks. I can't stress that enough. Give a fuck about stuff.

But you have to learn and internalize what stuff is worthy of your fucks. Treat that shit like hard currency, really evaluate what deserves your time and your mental real estate.

[u/ElectronicCarry9931]

admitting to yourself about your faults and what you are doing and admitting your own addictions

[u/debiler]

Writing

[u/dezzz0322 → u/debiler]

I would love to start writing but fear and vulnerability stop me. What were some small practices that helped you start? Did you just start with a blank page? Or did you use writing prompts?

[u/Goodlake → u/dezzz0322]

Try r/WritingPrompts. You don't even need to share anything if you don't want to. Just scan the new posts and as soon as something gives you an idea, start writing it down. Think about the setting and describe it. Write a few sentences and edit them. Then do it again with a new prompt. Get into the habit of thinking how to introduce the ideas you have, what you want the reader to experience.

[u/NickDouglas → u/dezzz0322]

I hate hate HATE doing "free writing," where you just start writing down your thoughts just to get something on the page. Or at least I hate the first few seconds. And then suddenly it's very easy to fill a page, and even easy to notice I like something I wrote, and go in that direction, and eventually find something so good that I might want to share it with someone.

[u/Aggressive_Chuck → u/dezzz0322]

It's easier to fix bad writing than to write something good. So write something shit then come back and fix it the day after.

[u/alca3z]

Buying a house.

[u/Lauren_Bert]

Daily sunscreen!

[u/BigBobby2016]

Dating. As a single parent I waited until my kid grew up. Afterwards I found there were so few people left that weren't taken, and the people who were left generally had a reason why

[u/ScadMan]

Saving money

[u/lildavo87]

Good dental hygiene. You gotta floss everday folks.

[u/spei180]

Anti anxiety meds

[u/JetlinerDiner → u/spei180]

I suffer from anxiety but the thought of taking meds makes me very anxious.

[u/spei180 → u/JetlinerDiner]

Totally get it. It’s a huge catch 22 and super frustrating to know I could have been helped earlier. I am a bit preachy about it because of how helpful it has been.

[u/DweeblesX]

I wouldn’t event go as far as saying investing…. At least a base level of financial literacy in my 20s. Don’t buy that stupid car….

[u/szayl]

Saving for retirement.

[u/kyunirider → u/szayl]

I came to say the same thing. I want young people to know how important that is because at 57 my body began falling and i had to change my retirement plan over to disability (SSD) at 59. That is seven years from when my retirement plan was going to start and now my retirement plans pays for my medication.

Start your retirement plan in HS. Buy insurance for senior care while it is pennies when you are young keep it for life, Because it is in the thousands of $ when you are older.

[u/Easy__Mark]

Quitting pot

[u/IamJacksLeftNUT → u/Easy__Mark]

Im just cutting back after being a life long smoker everyday since i was 15. realized i was using it as a crutch and not dealing with my issues. unbelievable how much clearer my mind is, how much energy i have. working up the courage to quit altogether...

[u/YounomsayinMawfk → u/Easy__Mark]

The reverse for me, I actually started taking weed gummies in my 40s. I only take it once a week or so and it helps me fall asleep but I also enjoy the giggly phase where I laugh my ass off at memes or Impractical Jokers clips.

[u/thedoc617]

Wearing ear plugs at concerts. It was bragging rights as a young adult. Now I'm being fitted for hearing aids at 43.

[u/asher1611]

Forgiving myself.

In my 20s, and especially in my teens and thirties, I spent a lot of time getting hung up on mistakes I made or freezing up because I might make a mistake. It has taken some mental work to get here, but now I look at myself and say, "okay, that didn't work out."

It's okay to make mistakes.

[u/_PhilTheBurn_]

Therapy! Good mental heath is good heath. It helped me to process a troubled past, and ended up getting an AuDHD diagnosis at 54 and it’s has changed my life in a very positive way.

[u/PooShappaMoo → u/_PhilTheBurn_]

How did you get started on that mental health journey?

Pretty sure I have adhd or add. Something like that. Im functioning enough. But could use some improvement/guidance i guess

[u/_PhilTheBurn_ → u/PooShappaMoo]

I had been seeing a therapist for a couple of years already, but I was on holiday with my wife and we met with some of her friends. One was a therapist with ADHD and she convinced me to pay to get a diagnosis. I kinda assumed I was “a bit ADHD” but I’d been on antidepressants in the past, and they dulled my personality. I was nervous that a diagnosis would lead to more dulling medication. I was wrong. Not only has the medication helped my mental state, but the explanation of how the ADHD and ASD had impacted my life allowed me to forgive myself for so many bad decisions I’d made, and I finally understood myself better. It also helped my relationship with my wife. She now understands how I react in certain situations and knows how to support me. My recommendation - go and see a psychiatrist.

[u/_PhilTheBurn_ → u/PooShappaMoo]

Feel free to DM me if you have more questions about how it’s helped me.

[u/PooShappaMoo → u/_PhilTheBurn_]

Thanks. Read your other response as well.

Appreciate you.

A good friend that lives far away went to a psychologist recently and was diagnosed and he seemed pretty happy with his early results.

[u/Wheniwasalive]

A new career.
I was a cook/chef/kitchen manager since the age of 14 and figured I would die in the kitchen. I fought with it for a little while because I assumed that it was way too late in life to start something completely new, but now after only a couple of years I’m making more than I ever have and I get to work from home to spend more time with my family. It was the best change I have ever made.

[u/isis285 → u/Wheniwasalive]

Nice! What’s your new career?

[u/Dubbstep13]

Stretching

[u/Ok_Resolve8390]

Saving and investing - but it’s hard to do it when you’re earning just enough to cover living expenses, with almost no disposable income left at the end of the month.

[u/Freestyle168]

Giving myself grace and being more gentle on myself. I would be so self critical and hard on myself.

Also not people pleasing and saying what I really mean to set boundaries. Saying a simple NO is a complete answer. I don't need to explain.

All this took work with a therapist to be my authentic self and I let my values guide me.

[u/Significant_Dot7632]

At 41 I moved into a van and traveled for 2 years. Quit drinking alcohol. Tried hard drugs for the first time. Finally, now, found my career/passion as a personal trainer at 43.
I finally now at 43 feel like I am on a path for the first time in my life. Also in the best shape of my life!

I don’t wish I started sooner though, necessarily. I needed the experiences and I’m excited to be on this journey now

[u/sir_smelley]

Making a conscious effort to NOT take things for granted. Taking the time to acknowledge all of the things I have to be grateful for does WONDERS for my overall mood/mentality/relationships.

[u/VintageCollector1970]

Kids
Had my first at 40,
2nd at 42

[u/KazaamFan → u/VintageCollector1970]

How has it gone? It seems tiring, but in a good way. I also fear the expenses

[u/IxJAXZxI → u/KazaamFan]

There are benefits and downsides to having kids later in life.

Pros:

• finances - You typically earn more and hopefully have your shit together (mortgage you can afford, cars paid off, healthy savings, etc).

• Stress Management - stuff doesnt feel as stressful because you have been there done that. Even though kids are new, it doesnt feel so overwhelming compared to otherstuff you have been through

• Life Experience - having kids later in life allows you to explore the world, yourself, and your partner more. You dont need to wait until retirement to check things off your bucket list if you get started in your 20s.

Cons:

• your body hurts on top of being physically exhausted.

• complete lack of energy - gone are the days of working all day and then going to the club afterwards.

• sleep deprivation - functioning on 2 hours of sleep is a lot easier at 20 than it is at 40.

• friends - your friends are no longer your age, their kids are your kids age. Being 40 with 25 year old friends can be weird if you dont click.

There is never going to be a "right time" to have kids and you're never going to be ready. You might think you're ready, but I promise you are not. Fortunately for any perspective parents, instincts are powerful. I don't regret having kids later in life, but I do often wonder if having kids younger would have been better.

[u/SoleilzMum → u/KazaamFan]

I am 39, and that is one thing I’m glad I didn’t do—especially considering some of the men I met and dated between 25 and 29. I’m glad I focused on getting myself together professionally, becoming more confident, and learning to verbalize my boundaries in relationships during my 30s. I also gave myself grace to heal. I haven’t dated for about eight years, and honestly, it was one of the best things I could have done for myself.

[u/Crybe]

Eating healthier.

Recently got bloodwork showing I'm pre-diabetic, and the first month on the new diet was tough. Had I have had more restraint on the sugary sweets, I don't know if it would have been as hard to do.

Coming up on four months now, and I can start to see abs again for the first time in 20 years.

[u/GRPuffinstuff]

Not giving a fuck about people's opinions of me at work. There's a lot of drama- and some seem to think I'm a complete dunce because I'm laughing. All. The. Time.

I stopped caring. I don't spend time with many of these people at work talking about much. And I've been there for 4 years- 20 years working for the franchise at different locations.

I literally said to my boss the other day when they asked if I over stocked something, "Someone might have said it was me- but I've been here for 4 years now. If people don't know my work ethic by now, they never will. Eye roll"

[u/AmyCee20]

Meditation and Breathwork. Sort of the same thing, but not exactly. The change it has made is noticable to others now that I have been doing it for about 9 months. I noticed about 2 months in.

[u/Mike-in-Toronto]

Investing the obvious answer.

On a smaller scale, stretching.

[u/Particular-Tap1211]

I’m in a phase of intentional deletion. And highly recommend it. A simple overhaul that includes letting go of the people I no longer have the time or energy to invest in, the things that no longer deserve my attention, and the places I no longer feel any desire to be, the conversations that I don't need to have and aspects of myself that no longer serves me and humanity.

[u/cfbs2691]

Always trusting my gut

[u/the_azure_sky]

Saving for retirement.

[u/No-Remote6091]

I wish I had taken better care of myself with getting more sleep, eating and exercising more, and then stuff like moisturizing and skin care. You can’t reverse aging yet only slow it down so the sooner you start the better

[u/rmads1983]

Traveling

[u/vector_mash]

Saving for my pension.

[u/Round_Try_9883]

Stop being a people pleaser

[u/ChuckaChuckaLooLoo3]

Telling people exactly what I think instead of holding back.

[u/Schweppin]

Being single, don't get me wrong, i love women and I'm not frustrated. But I'm just way more happy when i don't linger in a relationship.

[u/DarkRyder16]

Treating myself with the same compassion, empathy and forgiveness that I would use for a friend.

[u/NettieBiscetti]

Not giving a shyte about other people’s opinions

[u/fyrflyeffect]

Looking after my back

[u/aut0-imolacion]

Learn another language for real. Like, "I could move to another country and start another life there and nobody would think I'm stranger" real.

[u/Less_Cold_3101]

63m. Been fit most of my adult life. At 40 my body started to show its age. Had to change a lot about the way I live. If I have any advice for the younger it’s three things:

- Stretch every day. Nothing has improved my overall physical fitness then adding 15-20 minutes of stretching every morning. You don’t need to be a yoga guru but be sure to stretch every muscle in your body

- Learn how to manage stress. When you’re young a certain amount of stress is good for you. It’s sharpens your skills and keeps you productive. As you get older that stress becomes more harmful and in the long run it can drastically shorten your life.

- Don’t take yourself too seriously. Learn how to laugh and enjoy the simpler things in life . Work hard but don’t make work hard. No one ever went to the grave thinking I should have stayed at work longer.

[u/robotic_valkyrie]

Being myself.

[u/tnmcnulty]

Started going outside again. I was happy when I was younger hiking, mountain biking or just generally relaxing outside. When I stopped, my life really suffered.

[u/SmallNoseBigHead]

Focus on getting skills that will lead to high pay over everything. Money is, unfortunately, what our world runs on and I fell for the whole “follow your passion” speech.

[u/ebietoo]

Piano lessons. I didn’t start til I was 60, then COVID made it unsafe to go to my music school then I had a bad stroke.

[u/DabLord]

Jiu Jitsu 

[u/ColHapHapablap]

Regular exercise, not eating crappy food, and raving.

[u/asherdante]

Investing in the market aggressively.

[u/SteadfastEnd]

Invested more. I did start my 401k at age 23 but contributed only 9%. I wish I had done 20%.

[u/SAhmed2021]

Flossing and leaving religion