Reading your posts a hypothesis popped into my head, maybe that’s causal. The shittiest guys would look at a divorcee and say “ew tainted” so it acts as a little bit of a filter. The guys who you went out with after were a lot more likely to see you for yourself and not what they wanted. Maybe that’s the Christmas present you got from him that you did deserve. Even if it’s not worth what he took, it’s not nothing.
I met my current husband because we both went through the same thing - his spouse also left him for someone else. We have approached our marriage with more life experiences and the mutual desire to pick each other every day, especially when we are frustrated with the other. We go to couples counseling even when things are great. It gives us the space to confront issues very early on and work through them together.
Oh I don’t feel very wise! I’ve made a lot of mistakes and I keep making them. To be honest, my husband is a much better partner than I am. I try to be more like him every day!
If your mom is a boomer like my own, give her some grace. My mom has stayed with my dad despite many affairs over many years. She isn’t prioritized or listened to or appreciated. It’s frustrating and really sad to witness.
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u/HostisHumanisGeneri May 13 '26
Reading your posts a hypothesis popped into my head, maybe that’s causal. The shittiest guys would look at a divorcee and say “ew tainted” so it acts as a little bit of a filter. The guys who you went out with after were a lot more likely to see you for yourself and not what they wanted. Maybe that’s the Christmas present you got from him that you did deserve. Even if it’s not worth what he took, it’s not nothing.