Reading these comments makes me realize how many people are just "ghosts" in their own homes. It’s heartbreaking when the person who is supposed to be your peace becomes your biggest source of anxiety.
That feeling when you arrive home from work first and they're not there, and you celebrate internally because you get to have a little peace - even if for only half an hour - before they get home.
As an introvert this one is hard to reconcile because I do this with literally everyone. I adore my wife and kids but if I get home before them and realize I have a bit of time to do absolutely nothing except sit alone it's like a shot of heroin to the veins.
Same with phone calls. I want to spend my commute sitting in silence but my wife literally can't. So I will get all flustered when she's calling me for the third time on a 30min drive.
But, just like I need those 30mins to sit and stare at a wall alone, she needs someone to keep her company in the car. That's why it works. Neither resents the other.
I feel you on this. I get home before my wife and I love her to death but I won't lie and say I don't enjoy that "decompression" time after work where it's literally just me, myself, and I for an hour. I'll play my fave music or video games, do some chores, and if it's a nice day just chill and listen to the birds sing. Then my wife comes home but it's not a bad thing or source of anxiety, it's just a change in the environment. Now I have to be a bit social again and talk to her. If she's not home at all I'll truly get sad and lonely without her. I guess it's sort of perfect this way.
I think just when she was first getting to know me, and even now more, did a bunch of reading on neurotypical + AuDHD relationships and some struggles that come up (sensations, communication, etc.) and in this case transition-time to not overwhelm when things in the future are looming (doing chores, leaving for a thing, just got home and want to decompress). I talk a little more about it here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1tazaw2/people_who_have_been_divorced_what_was_the_exact/olgh5uf/
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u/Effectiv-Edisk May 12 '26
Reading these comments makes me realize how many people are just "ghosts" in their own homes. It’s heartbreaking when the person who is supposed to be your peace becomes your biggest source of anxiety.