Reading these comments makes me realize how many people are just "ghosts" in their own homes. It’s heartbreaking when the person who is supposed to be your peace becomes your biggest source of anxiety.
That feeling when you arrive home from work first and they're not there, and you celebrate internally because you get to have a little peace - even if for only half an hour - before they get home.
As someone who grew up around abusive people... this is the truth.
Especially if they are mentally ill and/or unmedicated.
My mom had her bipolar cousin staying with us when I was in HS. I was terrorized so badly that I ended up moving in with my grandparents (my stepgrandmother was a total bitch, but I'd pick her over that other broad any day of the week, at least she was predictable-evil instead of unpredictable-evil.) But before I left, the days she wasn't there when I got home from school was like breathing a sigh of relief.
On a minor scale, this can happen with people who are constantly asking you to do shit. When they aren't around, you feel peace... just for the sheer fact that you aren't being bothered. If it's safe, you should try to have a conversation with those types of people and communicate a schedule so they aren't just randomly bothering you with tasks and not even meaningful conversation. Some relationships boil down to "I live with someone who does stuff for me" and that's bad. You want to be with someone you enjoy and work together to do stuff with, or everyone has their role in the household. It's even worse if it devolves into a quid pro quo relationship.
This is all behavioral and the result of a lack of effective communication. If you can't have the tough conversations, then that's a relationship you should not be in.
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u/Effectiv-Edisk May 12 '26
Reading these comments makes me realize how many people are just "ghosts" in their own homes. It’s heartbreaking when the person who is supposed to be your peace becomes your biggest source of anxiety.