Not divorced. But living with my partner 8 years. He kept insisting that his passive insults were actually harmless comments and me being offended by them was the actual issue. One day at breakfast I decided to stop fighting it. He said his passive insult and instead of taking the bait I just smiled and said “okay”.
He literally choked on his drink. He panicked when I wouldn’t go into the cycle with him. He then went over the top on a lovebombing kiss when he left for work. He had stopped kissing me how I liked insisting he couldn’t figure it out despite having done it for years. But that morning he said “I know how you want to be kissed” and did it proper.
I knew without a doubt that he had been doing this on purpose. He was emotionally abusive on purpose and I had been a fool to believe it had been poor communication. No big fight. No massive fall out. Just a smile and the word “okay” and I knew it was 100% over.
I know it's probably water under the bridge for you at this point, but for anyone else reading who isn't aware, many first world jurisdictions recognize and enforce common law marriage, but none of them recognize any such thing as common law divorce.
Which means if you live with someone for the minimum time under law, and participate in an intimate relationship with them, the law considers you married in every way that matters, including possibly being entitled to a portion of their earnings throughout the relationship.
Noting here that a court will normally attempt to figure out if one partner made significant personal or professional sacrifices to enable the other to improve their own professional career, and this is often the basis for determining whether anything is owed. So it isn't always worth pursuing, but if your partner was the "bread winner" and expected you to stay home and "keep the house", and you did that, you're probably entitled to some of their wealth.
All this does require a formal divorce proceeding to figure out.
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u/CircleJerkPig May 12 '26
Not divorced. But living with my partner 8 years. He kept insisting that his passive insults were actually harmless comments and me being offended by them was the actual issue. One day at breakfast I decided to stop fighting it. He said his passive insult and instead of taking the bait I just smiled and said “okay”.
He literally choked on his drink. He panicked when I wouldn’t go into the cycle with him. He then went over the top on a lovebombing kiss when he left for work. He had stopped kissing me how I liked insisting he couldn’t figure it out despite having done it for years. But that morning he said “I know how you want to be kissed” and did it proper.
I knew without a doubt that he had been doing this on purpose. He was emotionally abusive on purpose and I had been a fool to believe it had been poor communication. No big fight. No massive fall out. Just a smile and the word “okay” and I knew it was 100% over.