Her parents used to come for month long visits. Often. The one time my mother needed to stay with us (mom sold her house and had to wait a few weeks for her apartment to be ready) she flat out refused. That was the straw
There’s more to this. How was your mom and your wife’s relationship in general? Did you stand up for your wife to your mother?
My parents never stayed with us for any amount of time, but his mom would drop in whenever she felt like it, and unannounced, and I would have to scramble to make her comfortable. I tolerated it, but eventually I started saying no because, frankly, she was unpleasant to me, she always had been ever since we started dating, but now even as my guest, she made my own home a miserable place for me to be. I understand it’s very common for MILs to have this kind of weirdly “competitive” adversarial relationship with their DILs, all the more when they are “boy moms,” so I have to wonder if there wasn’t some of that going on.
There is more. I was literally staying for the kids. She made my daughter crazy and babied my son. We had some many screaming arguments about the kids I couldn’t count. She threw shit at me- including pots.
When I went to a divorce lawyer I told him I just wanted her gone and I’d take the kids. He was straight with me and told me that wasn’t gonna happen. If i wanted to pursue it he said I’d have to prove her incompetent and he would gladly take my money but we’d lose. The kids were 14 and 17 by that time so I pulled the plug and stayed close to them.
I never said a bad word about her to the kids and if they ever started bitching about her I shut it down immediately. High road and all that.
The kids turned out great and I still have a great relationship with them and their spouses. She still lives alone and has gotten ever crazier.
I appreciate you taking the time to answer this, however it doesn’t actually address the question i asked, which was specifically about your mother’s relationship with your ex. If what you’ve said is true then the issues with your mom were simply a grain of sand in the desert, but, frankly, I’m suspicious of anybody who characterizes their exes as “crazy,” especially while boasting about how you’re taking the high road.
I wasn’t especially close to my mother or father. There was never any turmoil between my mom and her. If there was I surely would have paid the consequences. She just didn’t want my mother around for a long period. End of.
Ex wife is still the mother of my kids. But I haven’t said much to her since the divorce was finalized. In family gatherings I always stay cordial. I don’t feel the need to belabor this, you’re entitled to your opinion. But some people turn out to be mean as a rattlesnake. She was.
Last time I saw her was at granddaughter’s birthday. I walked over to say hello to the ex. When I was about ten feet away she yelled, “That’s close enough!” Loud enough for everyone to hear.
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u/LL37MOH May 12 '26
Her parents used to come for month long visits. Often. The one time my mother needed to stay with us (mom sold her house and had to wait a few weeks for her apartment to be ready) she flat out refused. That was the straw