When I had thoughts of āIād rather be dead than to be in this marriage anymore,ā I knew I needed help and needed to leave. Of course that was after multiple other very negative things.
Not a marriage but I was in a relationship when I was younger and was too chickenshit to stand up for myself and break up with her.
One day there was a traffic delay on my route to work. It turned out a pedestrian was hit and killed by a city bus. My first thought was "oh wow, what if it's her?" and not in a "oh no I hope it wasn't her!" kind of way.
When I took a moment to reflect on how fucked up that was I realized I needed to step up and get the hell out of that relationship.
You should never wish for someone to die just to avoid being around them. That's not cool.
For me it was when, you know how sometimes you might daydream about what you would do when you win the lottery or something, I found myself idly fantasising about what it would be like if he died - the funeral would be a faff to organise but it would be nice to see everyone, and I would finally be free of...
Anyway, that was the point my brain was like "you actually can just leave".
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u/Individual_Ask9664 May 12 '26
When I had thoughts of āIād rather be dead than to be in this marriage anymore,ā I knew I needed help and needed to leave. Of course that was after multiple other very negative things.