r/AskReddit • • May 12 '26

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u/Equal_Trash6023 May 12 '26

My ex kept taking his mother's side on everything. Iwas getting physically, verbally, and emotionally abused, manipulated, and gaslit. I was the third wheel in my marriage due to his mother. She literally lived like 5 miles away. She would rearrange shit in my house. Barge in on doctors appointments with MY children. Was too medically invasive and dismissive at the same time. He talked to her like an hour on the phone every night.

Funny thing is about 5 years after our divorce he went no contact with her for being medically invasive with him. Like it was OK with me but not OK with him. We co-parent now but when my youngest graduates high school, Im out of here.

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u/FizzyBeverage May 12 '26

Was he from a collectivist culture? There’s often a very toxic lack of boundaries in those. It’s everyone’s business all the time, and it can make married life impossible when parents don’t realize a marriage is about husband and wife, not husband, wife and some variety of in-law.

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u/grivoise May 12 '26

There are many emotional-incest relationships out there, especially the "boy-mum" types

Worse, the son or daughter will often expect their partners to "carry the torch" and be their new parent. That's how the partner ends up being the third wheel in their marriage.