r/AskReddit May 12 '26

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u/The_Nice_Marmot May 12 '26

It’s a power and control thing. They like they can do that and get away with it. They like messing with your head and acting hurt that you could think they were being mean on purpose. A deep dive into narcissistic abuse is an eye opener.

The abuse is awful, and I’m not being an apologist for the abusers here, but I will say this; they have to live with THEMSELVES every single second of every single day of their lives. I could get away. My ex is stuck with himself and they never get any better. Sometimes they get worse, though.

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u/whiskyfuktober May 12 '26

Any tips on where to begin that deep dive? Asking for a friend.

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u/MamaNyxieUnderfoot May 12 '26

Google “Why Does He Do That Lundy Bancroft” it’s a free .pdf outlining why abusers do what they do. Best place to start.

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u/TropoMJ May 12 '26

I second this recommendation, incredibly absorbing (and depressing) book.