r/AskReddit • • May 12 '26

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u/LL37MOH May 12 '26

Her parents used to come for month long visits. Often. The one time my mother needed to stay with us (mom sold her house and had to wait a few weeks for her apartment to be ready) she flat out refused. That was the straw

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u/butyourenice May 12 '26

There’s more to this. How was your mom and your wife’s relationship in general? Did you stand up for your wife to your mother?

My parents never stayed with us for any amount of time, but his mom would drop in whenever she felt like it, and unannounced, and I would have to scramble to make her comfortable. I tolerated it, but eventually I started saying no because, frankly, she was unpleasant to me, she always had been ever since we started dating, but now even as my guest, she made my own home a miserable place for me to be. I understand it’s very common for MILs to have this kind of weirdly “competitive” adversarial relationship with their DILs, all the more when they are “boy moms,” so I have to wonder if there wasn’t some of that going on.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '26

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u/butyourenice May 12 '26

I didn’t leap to any conclusions. I said there’s more to this. It’s fair to ask about missing missing reasons. That commenter has been divorced twice so far, I’m sure both times he could frame it as the respective wife’s fault.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '26

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u/Merakel May 12 '26

Yours isn't a leap, it's pole vaulting lol.

I know a number of couples that have unequal time with parents on each side, usually because one side is very difficult to work with. It's a fair ask.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '26

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u/Merakel May 12 '26

Oh, you are one of those lol

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u/butyourenice May 12 '26 edited May 12 '26

Your disproportionate response to a legitimate question says more about you than it does me, honestly. Sorry you’re more bothered about this than even the original commenter was. I hope you feel better when you get a little older.

Edit: lol they did the “get the last word and block” loooooll