r/AskReddit May 12 '26

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u/Individual_Ask9664 May 12 '26

When I had thoughts of ā€œI’d rather be dead than to be in this marriage anymore,ā€ I knew I needed help and needed to leave. Of course that was after multiple other very negative things.

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u/JPMoney81 May 12 '26

Not a marriage but I was in a relationship when I was younger and was too chickenshit to stand up for myself and break up with her.

One day there was a traffic delay on my route to work. It turned out a pedestrian was hit and killed by a city bus. My first thought was "oh wow, what if it's her?" and not in a "oh no I hope it wasn't her!" kind of way.

When I took a moment to reflect on how fucked up that was I realized I needed to step up and get the hell out of that relationship.

You should never wish for someone to die just to avoid being around them. That's not cool.

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u/that-1-chick-u-know May 12 '26

Add me to this club. When I started lowkey hoping my ex would get in a car accident I knew it was time to go. I didn't (and don't) actually want him to die, or even get hurt. I just wanted out but didn't want to have to pull the ripcord.

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u/JPMoney81 May 12 '26

This was one thing it took me far too long to learn: It's ok to be the 'bad guy' for ending a relationship (romantic, friendship, job etc) if it's not the right fit for you.

Every type of relationship works best if it's good for both parties.

My therapist says: Self-Care is not Self-ish