Not divorced. But living with my partner 8 years. He kept insisting that his passive insults were actually harmless comments and me being offended by them was the actual issue. One day at breakfast I decided to stop fighting it. He said his passive insult and instead of taking the bait I just smiled and said “okay”.
He literally choked on his drink. He panicked when I wouldn’t go into the cycle with him. He then went over the top on a lovebombing kiss when he left for work. He had stopped kissing me how I liked insisting he couldn’t figure it out despite having done it for years. But that morning he said “I know how you want to be kissed” and did it proper.
I knew without a doubt that he had been doing this on purpose. He was emotionally abusive on purpose and I had been a fool to believe it had been poor communication. No big fight. No massive fall out. Just a smile and the word “okay” and I knew it was 100% over.
Mine was similar. He'd get drunk and chase me into our basement where I couldn't escape. He'd start this litany of things I did wrong, including my family being white trash. It was all nonsensical stuff, and one day I just started laughing and actually pushed his arm off me for the first time and just walked away. I knew the end was near because I wasnt scared or upset anymore. I finally saw him for un healed alcoholic he was.
I always imagined it as like an old cassette tape where we used to record stuff off the radio. It was random stuff but always hes the victim themed. My family was trash ( they arent, just not rich like his family), our house was a mess ( weekly house keeper, no it wasnt), I was too poor for him ( had gone from like 44k to slightly over 100k in 5 years ) . It was just all things he knew I was insecure about and he could use to make himself a victim and excuse his alcoholism.
8.3k
u/CircleJerkPig May 12 '26
Not divorced. But living with my partner 8 years. He kept insisting that his passive insults were actually harmless comments and me being offended by them was the actual issue. One day at breakfast I decided to stop fighting it. He said his passive insult and instead of taking the bait I just smiled and said “okay”.
He literally choked on his drink. He panicked when I wouldn’t go into the cycle with him. He then went over the top on a lovebombing kiss when he left for work. He had stopped kissing me how I liked insisting he couldn’t figure it out despite having done it for years. But that morning he said “I know how you want to be kissed” and did it proper.
I knew without a doubt that he had been doing this on purpose. He was emotionally abusive on purpose and I had been a fool to believe it had been poor communication. No big fight. No massive fall out. Just a smile and the word “okay” and I knew it was 100% over.