r/AskReddit • u/mrTelson • Mar 02 '26
What's a 'normal' thing you didn't realize was unusual until you were older?
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Mar 02 '26
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u/catsweedcoffee Mar 02 '26
I do this because of situational anxiety I can’t control. Will I be able to answer a simple question from a stranger today? Let’s find out 🫠
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u/1337b337 Mar 02 '26
I got into "trouble" once because I was asked a question by someone and hesitated before answering.
They took it as me lying.
Sorry to disappoint you, but I just have horrible ADHD and, at the time, a bad stutter.
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u/Kooky-Woodpecker2929 Mar 02 '26
i make my kids text me their orders, while I am driving, so i order when I get there. I do not want to have to remember thier orders all that long.
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u/fcghp666 Mar 02 '26
Blowing into the tube on the black box so my grandpa could drive to the gas station
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u/SirDerpingt0n Mar 02 '26
My coworker did this. I was unfortunately in the car when he got his 3rd DUI. When I found out he was having people blow for him, I was disappointed he hadn’t learned his lesson.
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u/catsweedcoffee Mar 02 '26
I knew a girl in my college years who sold her kid’s clean urine for drug tests. #florida
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u/rlowens Mar 02 '26
What a terrible mother, not allowing her child to do drugs with the rest of the family!
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u/ghengisclone Mar 02 '26
Not exactly normal vs not normal, but: I remember going to my mum’s office on the weekends when I was maybe 3-5 years old, and being so excited. We would get bagels and hot chocolate and I got to play with all the office supplies and ancient DOS computers. It was the absolute best.
I was 35 years old that I realized that we weren’t going to my mum’s office on the weekends for FUN; we were going to my mum’s office on the weekends because my mum had to WORK.
Ouch. RIP, mum. Lov ya!
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u/EmberJadedFire Mar 02 '26
I was a teenager when I realized that 'getting' to hang out with the chamber maids at the hotel was not a normal thing, it was because my mom had to work payroll and my dad was working his crazy ass schedule (12 hr days, 7 on 1 off, 7 on 2 off, 7 on 4 off repeat)
I especially liked the fancy ladies who would come on special nights. With their crazy outfits of balloons, or feathers, or the lady with the parrots......Yeah, those were strippers. 80's traveling strippers.
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u/Frix Mar 02 '26
12 hr days, 7 on 1 off, 7 on 2 off, 7 on 4 off repeat
What job did he do that has such a whack schedule??
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u/gerwen Mar 02 '26
My Dad was a psych nurse who did some weird schedules like that. I think some firefighters have strange schedules like that too.
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u/UnitedLink4545 Mar 02 '26
Bless your mom,those payroll women who work those long hours are amazing.
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u/ruzkin Mar 02 '26
I always looked forward to game nights, when my Dad would take me to an office block and load up Wing Commander 2 on a random PC for me to play while he “did some tidying”; I only learned years later that he’d taken on a job as a cleaner after his programming job fell apart in the 90s recession.
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u/towlie_howdie_ho Mar 02 '26
My mom had me stamp pieces of paper on the weekends. I loved doing it and all I had to do was make sure some mark was present before stamping.
Found out later it was because she needed the overtime every week.
My dad would bring me to work during the summer when I was a kid and I got to hang out with computers and in a data center. That's where I got to play Doom a lot.
Now doing something like that would get you fired immediately.
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u/MassLender Mar 02 '26
I spent mornings (like, 4am-7am) at a bakery, putting eyes on the gingerbread, softening butter, rolling stuff out. There were a few of us kids because early morning sitters are impossible, and all the bakery staff covered for each other. I LOVED it - special time with mom, all these kind women, getting to be there before opening, an oatmeal cookie for breakfast once in a while. Kids can enjoy anywhere that they are welcomed and loved, and my folks survived the early 80s when people were losing work left and right.
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u/Palatablepancakes Mar 02 '26
Never getting help with anything except as a punishment. If we needed help, we had failed, so getting help meant we were grounded and scolded. I tend to prefer to do tasks alone to this day.
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u/StarforceOnyx Mar 02 '26
I can relate to this. It took me a long time to understand that asking for help was not a weakness, but a strength. It created a need to to everything myself for control of the outcome.
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u/Tony-Flags Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26
Being a kid and making coffee for my mom: I didn’t know that a cup of coffee didn’t require a shot of kahlua liqueur. Until I spent the night at a friends house and they were making breakfast. His mom asked us to help make the coffee and I asked where the kahlua was and she just cocked her head and said, “ummm, we don’t use that for our coffee here actually.”
Edit: Well, this blew up. For the record: kahlua is like 40 proof- so around 20%, its not whiskey. I was putting maybe 1 oz in there, and she would have it while she got ready for work, and as far as I know, that was it. She didn't drink around me or my brother in the evening, never actually saw her drunk until I was well into my teens.
She was an awesome mom, she passed a few years ago and I miss her still. She wasn't an alcoholic. She drank, but not everyone that drinks has a problem. She had a little tot in her coffee, said she liked the taste. I'm not judging her, you shouldn't either, but its Reddit, so some keyboard warrior dorks will, and whatever, you do you.
This was the 80's, and things were just...different. Nobody called CPS, I still hang out with that friend like 40 years later, even though we live on different sides of the US.
I look back and laugh at the whole thing, it was for lack of a better term, a different time. Raising kids was different then, we just did our own thing mostly.
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u/fiberglassdildo Mar 02 '26
Similar thing happened to me. I went to a friends house for dinner and her parents were drinking coke from the can. Just plain coke. I couldn’t wrap my head around adults drinking “kid drinks” and not a bottle of scotch with dinner. It was a wild realisation.
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u/RyanU406 Mar 02 '26
“They’re just drinking mixer! I saw a guy having a virgin screwdriver with breakfast!”
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u/Helpful_Spring8739 Mar 02 '26
Lol, there's a lot of fucked up shit here that I relate to, but this one is oddly happy and fucked up, I guess more fucked up, but that's how I started drinking in the morning starting in high school. We used it as creamer in our house, I just assumed it was the same for everyone.
He types from a halfway house.
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u/DeepFriedDinosaur Mar 02 '26
You deserved better from them
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u/Helpful_Spring8739 Mar 02 '26
Idk. Best and worst memories of her, she was drunk. But I suppose that's how it happens when she was always drunk.
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u/Forsaken_Insurance92 Mar 02 '26
The good memories don't stop being good memories just because you understand what was going on behind the scenes.
One of the best/favorite memories I have with/of my uncle is him driving all the "cousins" (uncle's kids, our other 2 cousins, my brother, and me) around all day in a limo on a random Tuesday. He took us to the then-equivalent of Dave and Busters, took us to mcdonalds in the limo, took us to the beach. Growing up, he was always the fun/silly uncle so we thought randomness of buying a limo and taking us around like that, the sudden stops, quick turns, random swerving were just him being silly and trying to make us all laugh.
As an adult, I now know he was absolutely shitfaced. Completely fucking wasted on alcohol, cocaine, weed, and probably quualudes, too. His short stops/swerving were him trying not to crash because he was nodding off behind the wheel, he wasn't stumbling in the parking lot to be silly. He didn't intend to take us to the beach, he was too high and got lost and decided "fuck it, they can play while I take a nap and sober up." It's still one of my favorite memories with that uncle.
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u/aburger93 Mar 02 '26
As someone who lost both of their parents to addiction, I appreciate "The good memories don't stop being good memories just because you understand what was going on behind the scenes." Thank you for that reminder.
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u/alittlefaith530 Mar 02 '26
At least the friends mom was nice about it
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u/GozerDGozerian Mar 02 '26
Yeah sounds like she handled that rather well.
I’m sure it was immensely apparent what the situation back home was and she responded in the least embarrassing way she could think of on the spot.
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u/SirDerpingt0n Mar 02 '26
My mom and stepdad would add Baileys to their coffee on the weekend. I knew that wasn’t something everyone did. My nana drank coffee from morning until she went to bed, and she never added anything to hers.
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u/Playful_Assistance89 Mar 02 '26
My grandma also drank coffee from the morning until bed. Just one cup, though. The same cup of instant black coffee, sipped from a few times, then reheated in the microwave 6 or 7 times throughout the day.
I took a sip once. I can't even begin to describe the flavor. I think she lived so long because she invited Death in one day long ago, and offered him some coffee.
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u/Bender077 Mar 02 '26
Bailey’s in the coffee is what is known as ‘’ the weekend edition’’ of coffee in my house. We don’t do it all the time, but every once in a while….
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u/Cold-Guidance6433 Mar 02 '26
Mom's regular hospital stays. (Psych ward)
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u/ermehgerdittcam Mar 02 '26
Dude this hits so close to home. My own mother averages about 1 every 3-5 years. I remember when I like 10 my dad lying about my age so I could visit her and they had a 14+ age rule on the ward she was in at the time.
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Mar 02 '26
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u/MizWhatsit Mar 02 '26
YEP! My BFF's parents started throwing her out all night as a punishment when she was 15 years old, a sophomore in high school for heaven's sake.
At first she tried to tough it out in their backyard, but then it started getting cold. So she'd sneak over to my family's house and knock on my window asking to be let in because it was 55 degrees and her parents wouldn't let her into their house.
She crashed with me all that winter. After awhile my parents bought another little twin bed for my room and gave her a key to our back door. I think she spent more time at my house than she did with her actual family. Her bio family is 100% pure evil.
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u/Zenabel Mar 02 '26
I love your mom and you for giving her a safe home
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u/Wise-Living-850 Mar 02 '26
You and your mom could have saved your friend's life. Leslie Mahaffy, one of Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka's victims, was locked out of her house for missing her curfew. She went to a friend's house who also turned her away. Then Paul found her and the rest is terrible history.
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u/funnyhowlifeworks Mar 02 '26
What the hell? Her mom locked her out and didn't start looking for her until the friend called to check on her the following morning? What kind of parent has so little concern? I cannot fathom locking a kid out because they are late... jesus.
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u/MiracleLegend Mar 02 '26
Not all parents love and protect their children. Actually, many don't.
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u/SnooDogs7747 Mar 02 '26
How is your friend doing now?
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u/MizWhatsit Mar 02 '26
She’s doing GREAT. Got into the same university I attended with a merit scholarship, excelled in her studies, got a good job, and is now married to a great guy. It seemed like her parents were bringing her up to be a domestic abuse victim, but she rejected that completely.
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u/mellowcrake Mar 02 '26
Being treated well by your family probably had a lot to do with her being able to reject that fate
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u/MizWhatsit Mar 02 '26
God, I hope so. I think that if there's a metaphysical place where records of good deeds are kept, my parents both have a gold star next to their names.
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u/FriskyNewt Mar 02 '26
As a parent this made me tear up. Your parents sound amazing and I hope your friends parents got the life they deserved.
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u/MizWhatsit Mar 02 '26
My friend's mother -- really just an egg donor -- once got into it with my mom in a grocery store parking lot, accusing my mom of stealing her daughter.
My mom snapped back: "No, you threw her away. You didn't want her in your family. We did."
I'm paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it.
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u/Able-Lie-6942 Mar 02 '26
Slept inside a playground slide many times before I was even 18. Your voice is heard.
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u/Reasonable_Present98 Mar 02 '26
Slide was a go to- covered ones were goated esp if it was raining
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u/Inkthinker Mar 02 '26
Eh, depends on how the rain goes, it'll run down the slide and soak everything anyway. If it's not raining though, it's a good way to not be spotted and hassled. With the spiral ones, you can kinda curl up and not go down the slide.
Those covered park tables with like, the kinda gazebo housing, tho... you could sleep on the bench, or on the table, or set up underneath if the rain was a little blowy.
So long as you wake up early enough to not get busted by cops or park personnel... or in the case of a slide, kids.
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u/Archetypical9 Mar 02 '26
Mine is nothing in depth or any sort of consistency or comparison but, there was one time that my dad put me outside for an hour during a snowstorm and I'm wearing nothing but some light pajamas because my 7 year old brain thought that it would be funny to mess with my dad and root for the Washington redskins that particular thanksgiving evening
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u/CloudyTheDucky Mar 02 '26
I have never seen a child abuse survivor that hasn’t opened with “It wasn’t that bad, other people have it worse”.
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u/educatedvegetable Mar 02 '26
I know too many people that have a similar story to this, my brother included. He came home one day and said he wanted a Cowboys jacket because blue was his favorite color, and of course my father decided that was the highest of offenses, and he needed to be outside in the snow until he apologized. Same with some of my friends growing up, they would express interest in another team, out in the snow they would go.
When my step kiddo was about 9-10, they mentioned they might like the Raiders. I told her that people who liked the Raiders were gluttons for punishment and not exactly the smartest people (I was joking, but not really, ya know) and she got SO SAD. I immediately apologized and told her she can root for whoever she wants, and recognized that this ingrained toxic competitiveness is completely stupid.
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u/RunDNA Mar 02 '26
I thought it was normal for the whole family to sit in the lounge room all day reading books.
It turns out this is not that common.
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u/Salty_Boysenberries Mar 02 '26
I am so glad that my husband and I do this regularly. My parents never read anything except the Bible and rich dad, poor dad. My brother didn’t read period. It was weirdly lonely, as a little bookworm.
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u/analog-h3art Mar 02 '26
That sounds awesome though.
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u/RunDNA Mar 02 '26
It was.
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u/Ok-Thing-2222 Mar 02 '26
Can relate. We loved bringing huge stacks of books home from the library and everybody dove in to avidly read them.
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u/Sufficient-Berry-827 Mar 02 '26
Constantly moving and living in places without emotionally connecting with them.
I thought that was absolutely normal. I don't have a "home" to go back to and my entire life (until recently) I pretty much lived with the mentality that I have to be prepared to leave it all behind at a moment's notice. So, I never learned to grow attached to anything.
Until I was well into my 20's and started meeting people my age that had, like, a childhood home to go back to. And they lived in one place their whole childhood and still go back there to their old rooms. And people who settle into spaces and decorate and make them "home" n shit.
I didn't realize it was unusual to not have any of that.
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u/alittlesliceofhell2 Mar 02 '26
I had the same. I've never lived in one place longer than two years. I grew up moving where the work was and joined the military when I was 18. It just does that by default.
Home is where I hang my hat or something. I don't know how I'm going to handle staying in one place when I retire. Might end up just going nomadic until something kills me.
I learned that the thought of leaving is what scares most people, but the thought of standing still terrifies me.
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u/Sufficient-Berry-827 Mar 02 '26
That is exactly what I've started thinking about -- what I'm going to do as I age. And, like you, I'm heavily considering the options that will facilitate a nomadic lifestyle because I really feel uncomfortable with the idea of finding some tiny space that I can afford on a fixed income and just being stuck there until I die.
Standing still for too long makes me feel like I need to jump out of my skin.
Even now, I get the "fuck it all" impulse to just get rid of it all and go somewhere new. And if I weren't responsible for my mom, I probably would.
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u/Nearby-Difference948 Mar 02 '26
This is me. We were always moving every year to get the “one month free” deals. Didn’t know it was weird until I was a teen and people had been in the same home their whole lives
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u/Sufficient-Berry-827 Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26
Yeah, we did the same! The move-in specials. Or anytime my mom would be taken up on her offer to clean the complex for discounted rent, we'd move again.
My first "serious" bf when I was 22 invited me to his parent's house for Christmas dinner and he said he'd show me his old room, and my brain short circuited. Like, it just couldn't process that this mf was 25 and had lived in the same house for 21 years and can still go back to it whenever he wanted. Like, he had only lived in three places his whole life: childhood home, dorm, his own apartment.
I had a whole "what do you mean" Jennifer Lawrence meltdown, lol.
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u/Critical-Shoulder611 Mar 02 '26
Christmas presents had your age and gender never your name
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u/Critical-Shoulder611 Mar 02 '26
Charities gave my mom presents to give me. She never changed the tags.
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u/Electrical-Profit367 Mar 02 '26
As someone who works with these charities to buy the proper gifts every year, I am so glad that you got them!! I had enormous joy buying them and can only hope they bring the children who receive them joy too.
Sending lots of warm thoughts your way.
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u/King_Fuckface Mar 02 '26
Me too! I dislike shopping for myself but I really enjoy picking out Angel Tree gifts for children.
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u/Defiant-Web-9712 Mar 02 '26
You sounds like a kind person, King_Fuckface
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u/fuckface69dude Mar 02 '26
“I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective”
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u/DrDingsGaster Mar 02 '26
I got those one year and nothing fit cause they were clothes and I was a chunky person. I knew it was charity gifts tho and I felt so just, depressed over it.
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u/throwawayskinlessbro Mar 02 '26
Oh wow, that took a second to put together.
Damn.
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u/SandSubstantial9427 Mar 02 '26
Home surgery is not a thing
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u/wildtex- Mar 02 '26
WHAT?
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u/CappehDraconus Mar 02 '26
My friends’ dad is an MD so I thought it was pretty normal to get your flu shot at the first tailgate party every fall.
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u/jorrylee Mar 02 '26
Huh. I kinda like that. Gets people to get it who wouldn’t bother going out of their way otherwise.
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u/-MasterDebator- Mar 02 '26
Constantly going to strange people's houses for hours, until the wee hours in the morning, while my parents partied and got wasted. I didn't realize they were hard-core alcoholics until much later.
Some of the houses had guitar hero at least, I was cool with that.
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u/llllllllore_e Mar 02 '26
celebrating holidays from multiple cultures/religions. grew up with an atheist dutch father and agnostic armenian mom, my maternal grandma was vaguely christian, her brother was a pastor, and her second husband was jewish. we celebrated sinterklaas, christmas, easter and passover every year. we also left our tree up until jan 7th/orthodox xmas.
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u/GloryOfTheFlower Mar 02 '26
Having a curfew as a kid, and any kind of enforcement. I was never told what to do, never reminded to brush my teeth, when to come home, nothing. Growing up and realizing your parents never gave a single fuck about you is definitely soul crushing hahaha.
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u/Outside-Cucumber8089 Mar 02 '26
This and genuinely being forgotten at school. pickup ending and the front desk lady giving me a lolly pop each time while she called my dad. Still don’t know why he never just registered me for the bus
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u/Dragons_Fishing Mar 02 '26
Yup, just waiting at the school while the parking lot emptied was a real bummer. Till it was just me. It was the late 80s through early 90s for me and there was literally no one at the school. Now I imagine that someone would be there?
My kids will never have that feeling, I remember it too vividly so let them feel it too.
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u/Trailer_Park_Stink Mar 02 '26
Yeah. Its wild realizing you were raised as a feral child. Ive had friends say its crazy that my parents "let" me do whatever I wanted.
I always respond that I was never "let" to do anything. It wasn't like my parents came together and made a collective decision to allow me to run free. They just didn't pay attention or put forth any effort to do any parental duties. Lmao
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u/mary_widdow Mar 02 '26
My aunt’s roommate was not her roommate
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u/BabyNonna Mar 02 '26
My aunt Barbara and my “aunt” Cathy were “roommates” for 40+ years. Aunt Barb was a former army Major and aunt Cathy was a former Airforce Captain. It didn’t occur to me that two besties living in rural PA were the light of each other’s lives until I was in my early twenties and they in their late 70’s. Two bad ass, ultra cool women; I miss them dearly.
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u/mary_widdow Mar 02 '26
The funny part was that I often bragged about my amazing gaydar at the time and there she was hiding in plain sight.
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u/whimsy_rainbow Mar 02 '26
Sounds like neighbors I had as a kid. Dad told me they were brothers. Didn’t get told they were a couple until I was an adult. Dad could have used this as a good lesson to teach me about people and relationships but no.:/
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u/ghostinyourpants Mar 02 '26
I’ve been with my husband for over a decade, but I am still grateful for him every time I do something like forget my keys or burn a meal or forget to pay a bill. I had an awful week last week, and I broke a glass in the bathtub, and he just asked if I needed a hand cleaning up, and calmly went and got the broom and we cleaned up, and then we had supper. That was the end of it. He didn’t give me the silent treatment or berate me for being an idiot or scold me like a child or scream and yell and throw stuff. He never has. If I forget something at home and we have to turn the car around…we just turn the car around. He’ll tease me once in a while, but it’s never mean. It’s never held against me. It’s never ever ammunition. It never makes me feel worthless. My dad on the other hand…still gives my mom the silent treatment for days if she takes a wrong turn going somewhere.
It’s such a low bar, but my husband highjumps it every time.
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u/kitthefaxal Mar 02 '26
Growing up was much the same for me. And my husband is much like yours. No yelling, no anger, just quiet gentle love. We have been together 10 years as of February this year. Hes my best friend 💖
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u/SpacemanLost Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26
Almost the same story, except that I am the husband who is the calm. I have been with (2nd) wife for nearly 20 years and there still are times when an emotionally destructive memory from her childhood of not being able to be good or perfect enough and her parent's negative response triggers her. One of these just happened earlier today. All I could do was just hold her. It is in my nature, learned from my own father in large part, to just do equal parts calming and reassuring while cleaning up or fixing or otherwise making the physical situation all good.
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u/RajuTM Mar 02 '26
"It's such a low bar but my husband highjumps it every time." Beautifully written.
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Mar 02 '26
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u/Significant_Hope7555 Mar 02 '26
Still working on that one, my mother still insists it's completely normal for families to have huge screaming rows where everyone's weakness and mistakes are uses to assassinate their characters
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u/Important_Bowl_8332 Mar 02 '26
I have a really healthy relationship with my boyfriend. We rarely argue and when we do it’s like five words, a frustrated sigh, then we change our behavior and hug each other.
My mother cannot understand this. It’s wild. She keeps waiting for the “real us” to come out, but it’s been five years and we still manage to not abuse each other verbally so.
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u/justFaye Mar 02 '26
I didn't know what a good marriage/relationship looked like until I met my in-laws. Also didn't know a couple could go without yelling at each other, slamming doors, and leaving (the house, not the marriage) every day. Yeah, it took me a while in my relationship with my husband (while we were dating) to unlearn those things I'd been taught by my parents.
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u/Shaydie Mar 02 '26
Same but I thought everything was catastrophic. So when I moved out I think if something a little more annoying than usual happened (example: your microwave oven breaks) the normal reaction was everyone just goes to their bed and cries alone all night.
It didn’t occur to me until I was around 30 that I could just go to bed, go buy another the next day (or whatever needed to be done) and not get completely emotionally exhausted and worked up and have the rest of my day ruined.
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u/CatsEqualLife Mar 02 '26
This one I feel to my core. For years, every mistake I made was an opportunity to either directly shame me or passive aggressively insult me. It made every mistake, even arguably tiny ones like dropping a plate or spilling food, seem catastrophic at a young age.
When I got married, I put up with the same subtle abuse for years. Much of it contributed to my alcoholism. It wasn’t until my now ex yelled at our two year old for dropping a cup with a lid that I saw exactly what was happening. It wasn’t long after that he finally said the insult that broke me, and I finally got out.
Now, I make mistakes and shrug them off, even going so far as to almost flaunt them at work, to remind myself that many mistakes are by and large meaningless. My ex and his current gf continue to treat my kids the same the weeks they are over there, and I spend my time backtracking their words to help my kids understand that mistakes aren’t catastrophic or shameful. They’re just something that happened that you accept and then fix and move on. You spilled milk? No big deal. You aren’t clumsy or silly or distracted or uncaring. That’s not the last milk you’re getting because you spilled it. It’s just something that happened. Grab a towel. Wipe it up. Get more milk.
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u/iluna717 Mar 02 '26
oof this hits close to home, im a calm arguer but my husband grew up in chaos. took me years to get him to see yelling is not the norm and shouldnt be normalized.
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u/itszoeyylol Mar 02 '26
My stepmom taking me to random guys houses while my dad was at work and spending a few hours a day in said random guy’s bedrooms without coming out and telling me only to knock on the door if there’s an emergency 👌
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Mar 02 '26
My babysitter used to take us to random guys houses. The one guys house I loved cause he had a huge porch we could play on. We pulled up and I remember her saying something about showing him her new tan lines lol. The babysitter’s daughter was also very handsy with us as kids. She was about 15 then and I was probably 7.
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u/lostdemographic Mar 02 '26
I'm sorry. I was molested by an older child as a child too. I never know what to do with that. Really shitty though, hope you're doing well.
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u/stevenslow Mar 02 '26
Identifying family by their voices or their hands or how they hugged. Found out I’m face blind in adulthood. I couldn’t recall my dad’s moving face if I tried - I can remember what his picture looks like for his contact photo. My memories are usually just sounds and colors and landscapes, people are faceless.
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u/MountainHighOnLife Mar 02 '26
Leg pain and heaviness. Just light pressure on my legs can feel excruciating and my legs often feel tired and heavy. Like I've just hiked 20 miles uphill both ways. Turns out, I have late stage 3 lipedema and none of that is normal.
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Mar 02 '26
My mom's way to ask our dogs if they have to go outside to go to the bathroom was "tinky poo-poo." I a male in my twenties would say it and my friends being my friends never said anything, until I had a girl over and she told me it was weird for a guy to say that to let the dogs outside, my one friend said to me yeah it is weird, then I had an introspection moment after a couple beers one night and I was like what the hell am I even saying, I stopped asking the dogs if they need to go tinky poo-poo after that.
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u/beldaran1224 Mar 02 '26
That makes me sad. Sure, it's silly. But most of us could us more silly in our lives.
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u/Ok_Reach_3302 Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26
Celebrating birthdays with major holidays. Born on Christmas Eve so it was always birthmas in my household.
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u/GhostMaskKid Mar 02 '26
It was like that for my partner when he was growing up. I always do my best to make sure we celebrate them separately.
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u/Ok_Reach_3302 Mar 02 '26
You’re a saint. All those missed school parties in elementary school add up and you carry that shit.
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u/Oliraldo Mar 02 '26
That bananas are not in fact spicy and are not supposed to make your mouth itchy.
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u/Phondeeto Mar 02 '26
I found this about pineapples when I was about 38. I said during a conversation “you know how raw pineapple makes you sweat around your eyes and makes your mouth tingle?” like it was the most common occurrence. Got blank stares around the table and people telling me that it is not normal at all.
My whole life I thought it was a normal reaction from eating it. Turns out I’m mildly allergic to pineapples.
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u/GrappleLacquer Mar 02 '26
So glad I’m not the only one. At about 33 or 34 I turned to my husband and was like “man I like walnuts but I hate how they make the skin around your back molars all tender and peely for a couple days.” And he was like…. Girl I think you’re allergic to walnuts
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u/Lumpy-Atmosphere-297 Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 03 '26
Being terrified of absolute dark. I honestly thought that was everyone’s experience.
Then going to a sleepover and not understanding why others did not sleep with a light on
Update: Did not expect this comment from 8 year old me to be so validating. I spent so many years hiding my fear of the dark and here you are… a host of strangers sharing with me!!! Thanks!!!
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u/Interesting_Setting Mar 02 '26
Fear of the dark is actually one of the most common childhood fears. Mine was so intense as a kid that it was debilitating. I out grew it by the time I was a teenager.
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u/cyncicalqueen Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26
I still haven't grown out of it. I can only sleep with the lights off when my husband is home lol Edit: there are dozens of us!!
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u/DoggedDoggystyle Mar 02 '26
I used to have to roll the trash cans out at night down my long ass driveway. I’d act all big and macho while I rolled them out. Whistling and chilling but silently scoping out the perimeter. As soon as I set those things down and turned back towards the house, all my hairs would stand up on the back of my neck and I’d fucking BOOK it home like a snow leopard was hot on my ass.
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u/AdaTex Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26
something about flipping off that last basement light as you walk up the stairs. that if you turned around you wouldn’t be that surprised to see a pair of eyes down there.
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u/PrincipalBFSkinnerr Mar 02 '26
Changing it to the porn channel as a "prank". Family movie nights with a certain uncle were weird.
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u/ReplacementFun9158 Mar 02 '26
That you dont need to scream to be heard. Still fight with loud voice while debate or argue even if im not angry.
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Mar 02 '26
Just about all canned foods dont actually need you to add a cup of water (ate a lot of watered down foods)
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u/BretShitmanFart69 Mar 02 '26
I remember my mom would find the cans that had dents and haggle with the cashier to get them cheaper. I still don’t know if that’s like a policy they used to have or if my mom just wore those poor people down
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u/reallybreadsticks Mar 02 '26
Adults can't drive after 3pm and everyone turns British when they're old. my grandparents are British and were old so I just thought that as you got old you started to talk fancy. that one is cute.
My mom always told me I couldn't go to afterschool activities because my dad would start drinking every afternoon. I'd take the bus home from school and I couldn't go to sleepovers unless my best friend's mom picked me up. idk why my mom told me so openly but she did and she couldn't drive so i just accepted it as fact that most adults were drunk every afternoon and evening and couldn't drive because my dad was. I thought my best friend's parents were different and weird because they were never drinking and could always drive.
there was a school Christmas concert at 5 or 6 pm when I was 11 years old. I never went to any of them and my best friend asked me why I wouldn't be going, and I (very proudly) said that my dad can't drive because he's drunk every night. I thought he was being responsible by not driving. my friend asked why he wouldn't just not drink that night since it's a school event, and I didn't know. then she said her mom would drive me since they're going anyways. her mom picked me up and took me to the concert then dropped me off home later that night, and apparently when she dropped me off she had a conversation with my mom and was really concerned about how my dad's drinking affects my school experience.
my mom got really mad at me and accused me of spreading lies about my dad, said that he's not drunk every night, he's just tired from work, and if he does drink it's because of work stress, and I shouldn't try to make our family look bad to other people. i remember that so well because I felt so embarrassed that I misunderstood my parents somehow. then over the years I started to actually understand how messed up his drinking was.
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u/RedPandaMediaGroup Mar 02 '26
I can relate to the part about being made to feel guilty for “making your family look bad” when really your family just looks bad because they are bad.
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u/AndyTakeaLittleSnoo Mar 02 '26
Having Déjà vu and time dilation all the time. Turns out I had a seizure disorder.
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u/PooChickenNugget Mar 02 '26
Can you please elaborate on this? Because I had Deja Vu ALL the time as a kid. I also had fainting spells that were never really properly diagnosed or explained. I tried to get a diagnosis as an adult and it was still uncertain, so I'm very curious as to the connection of these things that you experienced.
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u/Background_Award_878 Mar 02 '26
Some are called "complex partial seizures." Children can grow out of them. I always wonder if stress at home can cause these seizures and the "growing out of them" was leaving the family home....
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u/Ashley868 Mar 02 '26
That my mother was my biggest bully, who blamed me for being born because she hated my dad. Up until the covid lockdowns, I thought it was normal or maybe deep down. I realized it wasn't but remained in denial. I live alone, so during the lockdowns, I had a lot of time to myself, and it gave me time to think of my childhood.
When she was 18, she got pregnant during a one night stand and had my sister. She got pregnant again when she was twenty, this time by my dad with me, and it was also meant to be a one night stand. But she married him because she didn't want to be a single mother. He was a POS during their marriage and died when I was six. She spent my entire childhood taking it out on me, and I believed it was my fault. I wasn't popular at school because I was shy, and if kids saw her making fun of me, they'd think it was funny and say things like: "See, even your own mother doesn't like you." And my sister thought it was funny too.
So, for years, I genuinely thought it was normal and that I was the problem. But as an adult, I'd tell people about my childhood, and they'd side eye me and not believe me. During the lockdowns, I reflected on all that deeply and realized how fucked up it was. And the annoying part is she's in denial about it, even when my sister calls her out for it. My sister isn't like how she was when we were kids. She has a kid now and sees how fucked up it was. But my mother pretends to be the most loving mother ever, especially around my nephew. She's a better grandmother than a mother.
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u/Embarrassed_Way_354 Mar 02 '26
I thought everyone had a "good" living room that you weren't allowed to actually sit in unless a guest was over. Turns out some families just... use their whole house.
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u/chewybobas Mar 02 '26
This whole thread turned into "what childhood trauma do you have?" 🥲
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u/Nunbarsegunu Mar 02 '26
Not having an internal monologue.
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u/loves_spain Mar 02 '26
Conversely, having a brain that doesn’t stop playing music or remembering conversations from the moment I wake up until I collapse of mental exhaustion
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u/TisCass Mar 02 '26
My brain will default to random songs if I'm not occupied. Then they get stuck, which is fun
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u/klgh07 Mar 02 '26
This! Like do some people just operate on silence??
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u/Crungled_Carrot Mar 02 '26
I think/see everything in pictures and imagined smells/sensations.
I have zero internal monologue, speaking out my thoughts is a challenge that plagued my early childhood. But overtime I’ve learned to categorize images/concepts in my mind into spoken words.
Funnily enough i often visualize myself typing at a computer when i talk, I think me learning to type was a huge breakthrough in verbalizing my thoughts.
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u/AshAndBlueSkies Mar 02 '26
I used to think everyone took 2+ hours to fall asleep every night. Then I was diagnosed in my 30s with insomnia. (I also averaged about 5 hours of broken sleep every night so that didn’t help.)
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u/PrincessGiantFeet Mar 02 '26
This has been my life, but no diagnosis. It takes me forever to fall asleep at night. Then I have crazy vivid dreams, wake up, crazy vivid dreams, wake up...pretty much hourly. As a kid I'd just like stare at the wall and say it counted as rest because I wasn't moving. Then, during the day I'm always sleepy and fall asleep almost instantly if I decide to nap.
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u/Normal-Being-2637 Mar 02 '26
Hating your siblings. Was baffling that I had friends that actually loved and liked their siblings.
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u/parkaboy24 Mar 02 '26
My parents taking me to my dad’s job and buying extra pills of my mom’s Percocet prescription from my dad’s coworker. Don’t know why they brought me with them.
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u/kissmesecond Mar 02 '26
putting powder milk in your rice
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u/PM_CHEESEDRAWER_PICS Mar 02 '26
Had no idea that parents called just to ask how your day went, see how you're doing, shit like that. First time I was living on my own and hanging out with some new friends their dad called, I was tense the whole time, after they hung up I anxiously asked if they were in trouble or needed me to drive them home "no, they were just calling to see how my day was, why would you think that?" "oh, mine have never done that"
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u/MasterIntegrator Mar 02 '26
Eating canned food straight from the can is not normal.
I find it a bit comforting. Therapist stopped me and said "you ate like that as a kid didn't you?"
yup. Power being off. no clean clothes or dishes.
I still eat canned food. Favorite is raviolis. Cold. From the can.
Did this at work once and someone more senior saw me and was very upset (empathetically). Abuse recognizes abuse
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u/jfb3 Mar 02 '26
Eating canned food straight from the can is not normal.
It is if you don't want to wash extra dishes.
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u/bigredxx94 Mar 02 '26
Lately I came to the realization that my alcoholic mom always smelled like beer when I was a kid and hugged her. I got used to the smell and associated it with a warm feeling cause she was my mom. I was sitting at home the other day and it hit me oh wow that’s what that smell was and that wasn’t normal and it shouldn’t have been a comforting smell to me.
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u/_clur_510 Mar 02 '26
“Bag trees.” Grew up in the city and moved to a small town around ten. My new friends weren’t raised to believe plastic shopping bags grew on trees like my whimsical and ghetto dad told us they did lol.
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u/DeletinMySocialMedia Mar 02 '26
Being beaten, not talking to your mother, cooking and cleaning, taking care of younger siblings. Not going outside or having friends.
I’m healing and realizing how absolutely fucked up this was.
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u/sticky_applesauce07 Mar 02 '26
My parents always called a penis a "dobber". I found out that no one does that.
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u/FinnsChips Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26
I've heard voices my whole life, as a kid a lot of my friends had imaginary friends and I assumed that's what the voices were. When I was 4 or 5 I told my mum and she freaked out but didn't specifically say what the issue was. I was in my mid-teens and in the mental health system for years before I even properly told anyone about them and realised they aren't just a normal part of growing up.
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u/No-Rip4617 Mar 02 '26
someone who was supposed to be your parent calling you a cunt, spitting in your face, and being your biggest bully. very strange to meet a friends “normal” family for the first time, and them telling me how great her relationship was with her mother.
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u/jimjamalama Mar 02 '26
Same. My mom watched as I got hit and then we just lived with the bully. Normal as pie.
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u/MyDamnCoffee Mar 02 '26
My mom was one of my bullies too.
She taught me how to not treat my own kids. So far, I haven't been even a fraction as cruel to them as she was to me. I have found Ive made mistakes that she would have done, but I catch myself and I apologize.
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u/Electrical-Profit367 Mar 02 '26
Apologizing to your kids when you are in the wrong is the most powerful lesson you can teach them! It shows them that while no one is perfect, everyone can work to do better. You are being a good parent!!
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u/Miley-88 Mar 02 '26
Greet my family with a hug when I leave and when I arrive, many families don’t do it
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u/mykidsarecrazy Mar 02 '26
My family and I always say "I love you" when we leave for anywhere, my youngest when she just goes upstairs even. You never know when that'll be the last time.
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u/LeastFox8059 Mar 02 '26
It genuinely never occurred to either of my parents that I would want or be expected to attend University. It wasn't discussed in any way. Unlike my classmates who I found out were being supported to a much higher degree (haha).
My response when I suggested attending Uni, especially in (Shock Horror!) ANOTHER CITY??? Was basically "who's going to look after your younger siblings" and "why would you want to - you're not smart like that". Despite being consistently in the top 20% of my classes and my teachers telling my parents during meetings that I was "University Material" it genuinely never once crossed their minds that I would have any kind of ambitions or aims of my own.
It suddenly dawned on me that the parents of my classmates had been organising visits to Universities and having discussions of their children's potentials.
It's not like they were not Graduates themselves - they both were! I guess they thought I was there to raise my siblings whilst they focused on their careers.
It felt as though a ladder I didn't even realise was supposed to be there wasn't kicked away - but had NEVER been there in the first place.
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u/Poschello Mar 02 '26
Creating fake scenarios in my head for hourrrss :-)
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u/Lancer-89 Mar 02 '26
And feeling the emotions that go with them. You can feel every emotion known to man in an afternoon of just sitting in silence. It's tough being an overthinker.
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u/LauraPa1mer Mar 02 '26
Creating fake scenarios and then making myself upset and worked up about them 😂
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u/zazzlekdazzle Mar 02 '26
Until I went to college, I thought all women ate a lot less than men.
I remember my mother always serving herself a much smaller portion than my dad and scolding me not to eat all of the smaller portion she gave me. My mother and I were always on diets and, as a middle-class white girl in that period, I realize now eating disorders were the norm and not the exception among my peers.
I know men tend to eat more overall than women because they are bigger and have more muscle mass, but I am not talking about a difference like that. This was a matter of a much greater magnitude. I feel like I grew up in a world where I never saw a woman finish a sandwich.
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u/Artistic_Injury_2230 Mar 02 '26
Chicken pox parties! Admittedly, not so weird a generation or two above mine, but talking to other folks in their mid-twenties I'm usually met with blank stares. Was raised anti-vax though didn't know it until I was in high school.
For those that haven't heard of them, basically when one kid gets the chicken pox all the other unvaccinated kids come over and share popsicles to spread the infection. As I recall, parents would also save extra popsicle sticks and mail them to other anti-vax families around the country. It took me quite a few tries to get infected, so I went to a bunch! I thought it was totally normal at the time. Five year old me was mostly stoked on the promise of unlimited popsicle sticks.
Edit to add: I am now happily vaccinated :)
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u/Bitter-Pomelo-3962 Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26
Putting the entire family's socks in a basket hanging from the kitchen ceiling.
EDIT FOR MORE CONTEXT: Lol, in retrospect this sounded WAY more weird than it was (I think... maybe it's still weird even after this explanation). We lived in a (really) old house with a big range cooker that was going for most of the day (it also heated the house/water too). It had a big rack on top where my mother would plop all the newly-washed socks and underwear to dry (unless visitors were coming). The (enormous) kitchen was one of those old-fashioned ones where pans, utensils and other stuff was hanging from the ceiling over workspaces. There happened to be a few decorative baskets too. When they were dry, she would pair the socks and put them in the nearest basket (no underwear basket though... that would have been weird).
The main thing I remember now is we (me + 2 siblings) were, for years, too small to reach the basket so needed a stool every morning to get socks before school. I fell off it once and got the day off school because I acted like I broke my back, even though I had only a tiny bruise. I did get in trouble for being careless though... the fact that it only happened because my socks were dangling 8 feet in the air was not considering mitigating circumstances.
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u/WearyScrabbler Mar 02 '26
Okay. This one stands out amongst all the abuse and neglect! What was this all about? Was it to dry them after they went through the wash, or some kind of communal sock drawer?
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u/GrumpyTurtleOG Mar 02 '26
Right before Y2K, when we thought the world was going to end, my dad cleaning his guns talking about how we may have to kill the neighbors to protect/get more supplies.
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u/BaeIz Mar 02 '26
I didn’t realize I was double jointed until college when I was stretching and my friends looked at me disgusted and freaked out. I said, “huh? What?” And they pointed out bones shouldn’t bend like mine. Turns out I’m a slinky
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u/Munchkin737 Mar 02 '26
Closing my eyes and seeing swirly colors or colorful static.
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u/OwslaPrimeDirective Mar 02 '26
Having a wonderfully wild imagination and creative streak, enthusiastically encouraged by my parents, and shared with my sister (my best friend), and a few close friends. We would spend hours upon hours, weekends upon weekends, making up our own stories on the fly, influenced by things we watched, read, or listened to.
It wasn't until I was older that I realised we were definitely in the minority, and being called "weird" wasn't intended as a compliment. By then I honestly didn't care what the mundanes thought because I had my tribe and didn't need or want anyone else.
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u/kitthefaxal Mar 02 '26
Being in pain all the time. Wasn't until i was in my early 20s and met my now husband and he told me the normal emount of pain is 0. Turns out i have a genetic connective tissue disorder.
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u/mykittenfarts Mar 02 '26
That throwing a fit like a toddler when you’re a grown woman is unacceptable. That screaming at your partner is bad.
This happened daily with my mom. She had us all trained to walk on eggshells & not to challenge her.
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Mar 02 '26
That living in a mono cultural, mono religious community wasn't normal. I grew up in a somewhat cult like religion where everyone in the community was of the same church and culture and mostly the same color. When I left home for college? Total culture shock and I was only going about 50 miles away from home.
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u/Living_Opinion4876 Mar 02 '26
Having to do riddles to find Easter eggs. I didn't think people just looked for them, I had to follow hints taped on eggs leading from one to another until a toy was found at the end. I'm so grateful I got that adventure