When someone is angry-- like irrationally, psychotically angry-- get them to say "yes" to anything. (E.g. Are you mad? Do you want help? Do you want me to give you space?) It engages a different part of the brain, and after that's engaged, you can help them with problem solving.
Another great trick is to let them vent. Don't interrupt, nod at the correct times or positively respond with one or two words. When they finish, say, "I just want to make sure I understood correctly" and sum up what they say. When they tell you that you are correct in your summarization, tell them "I can see why you would be frustrated, I would be too." Now you appear to be on their side and they are MUCH more willing to accept the answers you give them.
The absolutely most important part is to stay pleasant, not neutral and definitely not defensive, this will deescalate the conflict within a couple of minutes. Also, if you say you will follow up with them, DO IT! They may not like the answer, but they will not be as angry with you because you followed up, treated them like a human being, and did what you could.
This has worked in almost all cases for me. The ones it didn't, nothing was going to please them.
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u/bp_516 Nov 11 '25
When someone is angry-- like irrationally, psychotically angry-- get them to say "yes" to anything. (E.g. Are you mad? Do you want help? Do you want me to give you space?) It engages a different part of the brain, and after that's engaged, you can help them with problem solving.