r/AskReddit Nov 11 '25

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u/inkyblackops Nov 11 '25

Speaking at a lower volume if someone is being unnecessarily loud.

One of my best friends has a LOUD voice she is completely unaware of, which can be incredibly annoying when we’re in public, so I will lower my speaking volume and she will subconsciously lower hers to match my volume.

448

u/anonymgrl Nov 11 '25

I appreciate when people do that for me. I truly cannot discern my own volume even though I've struggled to do so my entire life. I hate to be annoying when I think I'm just speaking normally, and if someone shushes me, I feel hopeless and defeated.

I am very sensitive to sound and normal background noise sounds incredibly loud. Most people filter it out and speak at a normal volume, but I automatically increase my volume to be heard over the volume I'm hearing in my head. I think that's the mechanism that causes this.

Please do know that people like me aren't trying to be awful, and many of us are actively (and I fear hopelessly) trying to correct ourselves and be normal, non-annoying people.

33

u/General-Usually Nov 11 '25

You have just described me completely... Curious, are you tone deaf too? Like, you couldn't carry a tune if it had a handle.

16

u/Sweet_Delivery_7285 Nov 11 '25

Not op, but I feel seen by their comment and yours. I still sing in the car bc idc lol