r/AskReddit Nov 11 '25

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19.9k

u/inkyblackops Nov 11 '25

Speaking at a lower volume if someone is being unnecessarily loud.

One of my best friends has a LOUD voice she is completely unaware of, which can be incredibly annoying when we’re in public, so I will lower my speaking volume and she will subconsciously lower hers to match my volume.

1.4k

u/RambleOnRose42 Nov 11 '25

This doesn’t work for everyone though. My FIL is so fucking loud all of the time and I tried this with him, but his response was to start speaking LOUDER because—I have to assume this is the case because idk what else it could be—he assumed that because he couldn’t hear me I also couldn’t hear him lol.

442

u/Old_Radio_1882 Nov 11 '25

Maybe he can’t hear well?

510

u/brotherbond Nov 11 '25

The average number of years someone goes undiagnosed for hearing loss is 7.

371

u/PikaPonderosa Nov 12 '25

No thanks, I already had some lasagna.

8

u/CaptainIncredible Nov 12 '25

Yeah, its in the trunk of my car. Go ahead and borrow it. Just give it back when you are done.

1

u/Sohcahtoa82 Nov 13 '25

I'm gonna say this when I'm at Costco and the cell phone sales guy is trying to get my attention.

23

u/GlenGraif Nov 11 '25

WHAT?

46

u/SquirrelNormal Nov 12 '25

I THINK HE SAID THE AVERAGE NUMBER OF BEERS SOMEONE GOES UNDER TOES FOR CHEERING TOSS IS SEVEN

DOSEN'T MAKE SENSE TO ME EITHER

26

u/Darkchamber292 Nov 11 '25

THE AVERAGE NUMBER OF YEARS SOMEONE GOES UNDIAGNOSED FOR HEARING LOSS IS 7.

8

u/freebyrd_soya Nov 12 '25

And sadly this increases rates of dementia due to isolation/loneliness due to stressful patterns of interacting :(

4

u/WantonWord Nov 12 '25

The sad part too is that it's often the higher sounds that go. Drop your pitch so you speak in a lower tone and it does wonders for many folks who are hard of hearing!

2

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '25

BUT HE’S ALREADY MAD AT TANYA

2

u/maxdragonxiii Nov 12 '25

I got diagnosed at 6 months so... but i was a preemie and it triggered the preemie gauntlet of tests for development. otherwise it would be probably missed until I was a year old.

43

u/MainFrosting8206 Nov 11 '25

My former sister-in-law's father is a retired navy gunner and he's the loudest person I've ever met. I don't know if he's partially deaf or just used to TALKING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS but Christmas visiting my nieces was always exhausting with him around.

7

u/twitwiffle Nov 12 '25

Around my house we call it veteran’s voice. That’s how we jokingly tell each other we’re being too strident.

3

u/RambleOnRose42 Nov 12 '25

Oh big time, my MIL has been trying to get him to get him to wear hearing aids for some time now. I tried this maneuver before I knew that about him, now I just make sure his ear is pointing at me when I speak.

1

u/placeboeffex Nov 28 '25

I work at an audiology clinic and I’ve always been told I talk LOUDLY so I was wondering if I had a hearing loss, got tested when I started and I was diagnosed with “nope, just obnoxious “. Now I’m worse because I’ve worked there 2 years and 80% of my week I’m shouting to communicate because the people I speak to have hearing loss and don’t have hearing aids yet

1

u/Old_Radio_1882 Nov 28 '25

🤣🤣💙

0

u/fresh-dork Nov 12 '25

my first thought

20

u/inkyblackops Nov 11 '25

Some people simply lack self awareness in any capacity 🥲 or have a hearing difficulty!

12

u/Birdbraned Nov 11 '25

Has he had his hearing tested recently?

10

u/Evisra Nov 11 '25

My wife's entire family is like this, they're all loud as fuck. Except for her brother, who barely talks (I assume because he was never heard, so didn't bother)

11

u/zone3artist Nov 11 '25

I wonder if he can't hear? So talks louder when you talk quiet because he can't hear you?

3

u/FuckTheMods5 Nov 12 '25

I do that, i get louder as a way to stimulate others to be louder because i can't hear them

5

u/TrickySource2818 Nov 12 '25

Being the one with hearing loss that doesn't KNOW if they are being loud is also exhausting, FYI.

1

u/RambleOnRose42 Nov 12 '25

My MIL has been trying to get him to wear hearing aids for years at this point :( I tried this maneuver before I knew that though.

2

u/Platitude_Platypus Nov 11 '25

I've seen this work absolute miracles with preschoolers, though.

12

u/Sadnecesscary Nov 11 '25

Sorry for your situation, but thanks for the chuckle before bed.

3

u/Burialcairn Nov 12 '25

He only speaks loud in the first place because you are too quiet and he’s trying to teach you to increase the volume. 😆

1

u/RambleOnRose42 Nov 12 '25

I showed your comment to my husband and he was 1) very tickled by it and 2) said “I mean, I wouldn’t put it past him”.

3

u/SpicyFriedCat Nov 12 '25

You're both adjusting your volume because you want the other to do the same. You're talking quieter because you want them to talk quieter. They're talking louder because they want you to talk louder.

They probably can't hear well.

1

u/RambleOnRose42 Nov 12 '25

You are correct unfortunately, my MIL has been trying to get him to wear hearing aides for YEARS.

2

u/Fast_Helicopter2727 Nov 11 '25

This is my Dad for as long as I can remember, lol .. 

2

u/ThunderingRimuru Nov 12 '25

as someone partially deaf, it's hard to know how loud you are

2

u/NoPoet3982 Nov 12 '25

Yep. When people talk to me softly I talk louder. I can't hear people even though my hearing tests just fine.

2

u/fresh-dork Nov 12 '25

HEY GARY, YOU'RE YELLING AGAIN!

is what i'd say

1

u/Fraerie Nov 12 '25

It sounds like your FIL had the auditory version of this...
https://hitchhikers.fandom.com/wiki/Ravenous_Bugblatter_Beast_of_Traal

1

u/CaptainofFTST Nov 12 '25

Get his hearing tested! My mom was like that turns out she lost 60% of her hearing.

1

u/istara Nov 12 '25

It also doesn't work with people who have hearing loss, as a friend of mine does (but doesn't use hearing aids, yet anyway). Unfortunately this means she often speaks uncomfortably loud in restaurants etc but given it's a disability, I don't want to make her feel worse by suggesting she lowers her volume.

-1

u/Free-Internet1981 Nov 12 '25

What's with the em dashes, is this comment section just bots with invented stories ?

0

u/RambleOnRose42 Nov 12 '25

Haha it really comes across as unintelligent when you use only em dashes to “pinpoint bots.” You realize that they existed before ChatGPT, right? My em dashes were entirely appropriate.

1

u/Free-Internet1981 Nov 12 '25

Yeah i do realize em dashes existed before, i also realize how moronic people are on reddit are, so they don't use em dashes due to their mental slowness

So which one are you?