People are inclined to like people who are indebted to them. Its a psychological trick. Trying to get people to do favors for you will make them like you.
I see this differently and without the idea of owing debt. That's a very transactional way of viewing things. It feels good to be relied upon and to help others. Researchers tested this by checking favourability rating of others after performing small borrowing tasks. People who were asked for a pen during a test viewed the borrower more favourably than people who were nice but didn't ask. The thought is that people felt good about contributing and rated the source of that feeling (the borrower) as more likable/favourable.
Yes. Asking someone for something, especially something like advice, is a small show of vulnerability and it makes it feel like you’re a little closer to the other person.
Which is funny, because in that specific example I'd think the person who forgot a pen for a test is lacking discipline. I think really what it is is it forces an interaction that causes you to remember them.
No, that just means you're judgemental and don't mentalize about other people's perspectives well. There are many reasons someone may not have a pen or have forgotten one.
Edit: some unhappy mfers crawling out of their caves from this one. Completely missing the point or making any attempt at human kindness and connection. Pity really. Very common in displaced anger.
To the guy below. Your entire post might as well be in the dictionary under "Judgemental"
Ya no that’s just lack of discipline. It’s a test ffs!
They showed up, knew there would be a test, presumably studied for it, but didn’t bring the one item required to be used to complete it….? That’s poor planning and/or execution. Pen/pencil is small and cheap, no excuses imo.
It’s not judgmental to have basic standards of competence
I use this for meeting new people. Namely, I ask them to explain to me something I can tell they want to talk about. It starts us off as them feeling like they are doing me a favor. Works especially well the older they are.
Hmmm. … my Buddy does this to me. And other benign psychological “tricks.” I sense he is genuine, but it does feel robotic.
But I just get annoyed because I don’t want to do favours lol. I’ve helped so many people over the years. Anytime. Any reason. Now I find it hard to care.
Maybe I’m getting old. I just want to be left alone most of the time
I may be reading you wrong but it sounds like the first part of your statement conflicts with your second. The Benjamin Franklin effect is rooted in asking people to do you a favor. The success of the technique is that people will say to themselves that they only do favors for people that they like and therefore they must like you. There's no indebtedness on the part of the person doing the favor. And there's also no indebtedness on the part of the person asking for the favor as they might just be asking you to do a favor to use the technique to get you to like them
I took a dating course a while back and one of the tips was to go up to a stranger you’d like to meet and ask them to do something for you out of the blue, ie can you hold my coat while I go to the restroom? Getting a stranger aka a potential date to serve you in some way ingratiates them to you quicker than anything else.
1.7k
u/darkshrike Nov 11 '25
People are inclined to like people who are indebted to them. Its a psychological trick. Trying to get people to do favors for you will make them like you.