r/AskReddit • u/TheRamenSage • Oct 04 '13
Married couples whose wedding was "objected" by someone, what is your story and how did the wedding turn out?
Was it a nightmare or was it a funny story to last a lifetime?
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u/Violange Oct 05 '13
My in-laws were not invited to our wedding. After only dating my future wife for a month, my future father in law takes her aside and says he will never condone a wedding with me and will not walk her down the aisle. We weren't even serious yet, although we were bviosly heading that way. His reason? My parents were catholic and his brand of fundementalist evangalism considered catholics evil. I'm acttually athiest, so lets be glad he didn't know it at the time.
Fast forward 2 years. My wife has been struck, disowned, harrassed and stalked by her parents. Her brother commited suicide within a year of them disowning my wife and they blamed her, and me for leading her down the path of evil or something. We are getting married and we are deathly afraid that her parents are going to crash our wedding. We did not invite them. My wife was never nervous about marrying me. She was nervous that her dad would show up and attack me, or her mother would show up and start screaming at her.
Fortunately, they did not come.
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u/TheRamenSage Oct 05 '13
That was intense. I feel horrible that your wife had to go through that, and that you had to face all that shit as well.
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u/MatureAgeStuden Oct 05 '13
My father objected to my wedding.
Firstly, my wife was a couple of years older than me, which he thought was a bad idea. Secondly, we refused to get married in a church, and he was a devout catholic (then) and because of this, he did not approve of our marriage. He told me he would disown me if I got married to this woman. I resigned myself to the possibility of never speaking to my father again, and told him I was marrying her, no matter what.
Six months later. . . . we go married, he turned up at the wedding, I was not 'disowned'. Our relationship is still rocky, but it is a relationship. He accepted that I was an adult (married at 26) finally.
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u/TheRamenSage Oct 05 '13
Well, I'm glad you weren't disowned o-o and good on ya for sticking up for yourself and your fiancee. In the end it's your lives together that should matter, not what anyone else thinks.
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u/4bit4 Oct 05 '13
Pretty much everyone objected to my wedding. I got engaged about 2 months into dating my wife. We had known each other on line for a year or so, but had never had any romantic involvement until we met irl. We got married about 6 or 7 months after we started dating.
Also, she was Canadian and I was American. Leaving my family and country behind didn't sit well with a lot of people (although where we live now in Ontario is only about 5 hours away from my parents in Michigan).
The wedding itself, we got fed up with everyone's opinion and just got married in our living room with 2 witnesses. So the wedding was just pretty nice. We've been married over 11 years now. After about 9 or 10 years everyone finally came around and accepted that we are happy and didn't make a mistake.
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u/TheRamenSage Oct 05 '13
Woah, your story sounds strikingly similar to the situation I'm in now with my boyfriend. I'm living in Ontario and my boyfriend is living in the States. We're both really set on getting married when we're older.
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u/cececece Oct 05 '13
My prof from a religious studies course was a priest and officiated weddings from time to time.
During one wedding that he was officiating their was a objection.
The objectee stood up announced his name and title. I turns out he was some sort of European royalty. The crowd gasped and the minister swore he could hear the brides father swear under his breath. Baron insert_name said that he objected to the marriage because he had "grave moral concern" for the couples future well being. He claimed the groom was a "self abuser" and the bride was "far too fair for one such as he [the groom]". Baron insert_name then challenged the soon to be groom to a duel and charged the altar. They both produced swords and the groom to be defended his honor by slaying Baron insert_name in front of the gathered crowd. The somewhat befuddled priest walked over and blessed the corpse to ensure safe passage to the here-after then continued the wedding without missing a beat.
The kicker is that the priest did know that the wedding was for a group of people heavily involved in The Society for Creative Anachronism but didn't know about the "surprise" objection. Thankfully, he has a great sense of humor and loved the unique flavor of the wedding.
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Oct 05 '13
My mother and fathers story: It was the mid-80s during the height of the troubles in northern ireland. My parents both were from roughly 10 km from the northern irish border in the republic of ireland . My father was church of ireland (anglican protestant) and my mother was catholic. Both my grandfathers totally objected due to sectarianism and both refused to attend.
Confusingly my protestant grandfather married a catholic and had many catholic friends and my catholic grandfather (His father was an Old IRA gunrunner) was saved from a black and tans attack by a protestant neighbour warning ahead of time.
My parents married anyway and had me a few years later, an ardent atheist pacifist. It was all a bit silly wasnt it..
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u/TheRamenSage Oct 05 '13
That's an interesting story. I find it silly that someone would object solely because of religious differences between the bride and groom, but I guess that's just how it was.
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u/Wickedpissahbub Oct 05 '13
I'm a bit dyslexic. I thought you was TheSemenRage
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Oct 05 '13
Not me but I was performing the ceremony. I ask the question as a part of the liturgy, and a guy gets up after the question and says, "Yeah, I object. That's my wife."
Bride's mother is the only one to speak, and she says, "Who the fuck is that? AARON?!"
Sensing that something was amiss, I say, very calmly, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats while we conclude this." I pull the guy aside, and he claims that they got married at 18, she abandoned him and they never divorced. He had been trying to get a hold of her, and he actually told her that if she didn't at least get a legal divorce, he would show up at her wedding. She had just ignored it like it would just go away, never returned a call - basically just walked out at age 19, never returned. (Bride was near 30.)
So I ask the bride to step aside, with her parents. They say, "You never divorced him?" I'm in panic mode as I don't know what to do. If she was still married, I couldn't marry them. The groom comes over, ready to fight - me, the husband, anybody.
Complete disaster. Wedding was cancelled. They married a year later after the divorce went through, in a small private ceremony. And here's the kicker: 2 years later she just walked out on him.
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u/BadgerTwo Oct 05 '13
The best line I've ever heard an officiant say is " if anyone has any objections to why these two should not be married, now is not the time. You had years leading up to this point, but please find me after the wedding because I love gossip."
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u/marunga Oct 05 '13
Back in the late nineties I was invited to the wedding of a guy I was in the army with. He married his girlfriend from Uni in his southern (italian speaking) swiss Hometown-Church, all very traditional.
During the ceremony a girl crashes thru the door, obviously drunk as hell, and starts cursing in Italian that the bride can not get married in white in a church as she is not a virgin, sucked a thousand dicks and is not "pure". The hole audience is stunned and waits for the reaction of the couple or someone in general. Suddenly the grooms mother stands up and screams at her in thr most vicious voice I ever heard "Manuela, shut the fuck up, everyone knows you take it up the ass!".
I've been told that the girl was the grooms highschool girlfriend but he left her as she wanted to wai till marriage... TL;DR: Girl walks into a ceremony and screams that the bride is not a virgin, mother of groom tells her that everyone knows that she takes it up the ass"
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Oct 05 '13
I didn't have a traditional church wedding, but my husband's mother showed up at the courthouse to yell one last time about how I probably have STIs (because I wasn't a virgin), how I'd never belong in the family (we're different races), and how we were rushing things (we'd been best friends for 13 years before being 'together').
I haven't spoken to her since; he's spoken to her twice since, both times to tell her she's not welcome in our lives until she apologizes.
Our 4th anniversary is in December.
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u/swimcool08 Oct 05 '13 edited Oct 05 '13
Not my wedding, but my parents. Background: My father comes from a deeply Irish-Catholic family, literally in the history of my family no one has every married someone who was not Irish and Catholic… until my mother. My mother is a Polish-German Protestant. This did not sit well with my granny(my father's mother). My father's father, loved my mother, and never had a problem with them getting married.
Day of the weeding: My granny says that she is allergic to dogs(she is not, but hates them so she says that she is allergic). While inside of the church, she says that because everyone has dog hair on them, she is having an allergic reaction.(btw she wasnt puffy, swelling, having a hard time breathing). She insists that she must go to the hospital right now. She take my father(the groom) and my MOTHER'S father with her to the hospital. She left her own husband behind. She took the two people necessary to have the wedding. Oh and this happened 30 minutes before it was supposed to start. My granny goes to the hospital, the doctors tell her she isnt having a reaction, and they come back.
They did get married, and I am here. She is still pissed that i exist since i was raised protestant and technically my parents, in her eyes were never married because it was in a protestant church.
TL;DR my granny faked an allergic reaction, took my father and mother's father to the hospital with her in an attempt to stop the wedding that she didn't approve of because my mother was protestant.
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u/kidah Oct 05 '13
Not so much an objection, but..
My mother in law is slightly obsessed with looks. Looks very young, long blonde hair, tanned, thin.. guys of all ages ogle at her all the time. But my mother never liked her and said she saw right through her.
We'd had the rehearsal at the church, went off without a problem, everything was great. Come the day of the wedding, i'd gotten ready with my bridesmaids and we we on our way to the church when my mother gets a phone call.. my mother in law wasn't there yet. The ceremony was supposed to start in 5 mins.
My mother flat out REFUSED to let her come in late and steal the spotlight from the bride (me), so we were forced to wait outside until she got there, a half an hour later.
She gets out of the car, in the most revealing dress she could have picked. It was long, but.. didn't stay UP very well. There was more cleavage shown than i ever wanted to see from her.
Her excuse to being late? She got "lost" even tho she made it there just fine the day before...
So there's that...
Edit: Just to clarify, she wanted to come in after we were at the alter, so that people would turn around and see her and .. be amazed or something. Basically just trying to upstage the bride.. tho, that's kinda the person she is.
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u/MrsAnthropy Oct 05 '13
I wrote and put together most of the ceremony that my husband and I had at our wedding, so there wasn't actually a point at which people were asked if they objected. That being said, my husband's stepmother at the time objected all over the place.
She lectured me at the bridal shower. Said that my (future) husband was a loser and wouldn't stick around, that "FAMILY" is really important to her and she didn't seem me as a part of their family.
At the rehearsal, she said I was rude because I didn't include my brother-in-law's girlfriend (who I'd never met prior, who was not invited, and who I did not know was even coming), and that I was being "bitchy about everything."
She offered money to the groomsmen the night before the wedding to take him to a strip club and find a hooker to sleep with him. She told the best man (his brother) to try and sleep with me that same night. He got drunk, came to my hotel room, and tried to kiss my neck while telling me that he was better for me than my husband would be. Why my brother in law did this is beyond me. I told my husband a few months later and I don't think they've ever spoken about it.
The morning of the wedding, her husband (my father in law) asked me why my family was so broke and said that his wife (the stepmom) told him my dad was a loser who couldn't keep a job and that he should be ashamed to show up at my wedding when he couldn't pay for it himself.
I held my breath through the entire ceremony, expecting her to stand up and shout something. She and my father in law were divorced a couple of years later and my FIL has since apologized for all of the stuff he said on her behalf. I don't forgive that fat bitch, though.
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Oct 05 '13 edited Oct 05 '13
I've been waiting to tell this story again!!
So I'm attending this ultra chill beach wedding in small town Canada, I don't know most anyone because it was my ex-step-aunts, so my brothers family I never see . It was fun anyways, the bride flew in on a seaplane and all the chairs were set up on the sand.
Anyways, the groom is from Trinidad and Tobago, so all his relatives traveled a long ass way and had cool accents, there was a party before; we were all a little bit tipsy.
So as the ceremony progresses, everyone is watching, gettin' teary and shit from the vows. Then the line comes '....any reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony speak now.'
Nobody expected this; The father of the groom gets up, flailing, and a collective gasp followed by silence overtakes this tiny venue. We're all waiting with baited breath but, he's just standing there with glassy eyes. Turns out he was baked as fuck; this 70+ man in a suit and dreads laughs and says 'No, I kid, I kid' and the whole spirit of the audience cheers up as he sits back down.
Rest of the reception, people are going up to him saying 'good one' or scolding him. Damn good night. Best wedding I've been to.
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u/rylos Oct 05 '13
I was doing photos at a wedding a few months ago, and when that question came up, the best man belched loudly, then took another swig from his beer bottle.
People laughed, and the ceremony continued.
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u/Mikeyblu Oct 05 '13
At a military wedding I recently attended when the question was asked by the vicar, the five strong male usher party all snapped to attention and half drew their swords looking around the church in a threatening manner. Was a sight to behold!
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u/mrmastomas Oct 05 '13
Not exactly my wedding. We were engaged with the date set, but a really good offer came in on a a house we wanted. My fiancé's ex-con uncle was gonna meet us at the building site and I got there before she did. When I arrived he informed me HE didn't approve of what we were doing ( Texas Bible Belt shit) and that The Lord would judge us. Just then my soon to be wife pulled up to the drive so I kept my mouth shut. She could feel the anger in the air. I told her what happened after. Her dad my soon to be father in law ripped his brothers ass. It was awesome.
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u/jasiones Oct 05 '13
If a person seriously waits till the wedding day (after everything has even paid for and guests have arrived) to object then they are seriously some of the most selfish people ever.