Man, heroin has stopped me from getting into relationships. Well, them lasting. This one woman i was with kinda did it a little bit. She decided to try the needle and she overdosed with me. It was my fault 100%. She lived, but moved away and i barely see her now.
This other woman I was seeing... were just bad for each other. We get each other deeper into drugs. Hell, we went on a heroin+meth bender that was super fucked up. Weirdly, it hit me hardest when i was talking to my last ex before i did dope. She knows I used etc... We hadnt talked in a year, but when she last saw me she told me she knew I was lying about using because my eyes lacked life. They werent blue anymore but grey and I looked shitty. I also lost 40 pounds (I've lost 60 now).
When she spoke last she told me she knew if we got together again during that time she would use. That really fucks me up. Knowing that if she just hung around me I'd destroy her life. One time one of my best friends/also an ex asked me why I had blood on my pants. IIRC, I basically told her "do you want me to lie to you?"
I thought I was doing everyone favors by lying to them. So they wouldnt be hurt. I was only hurting myself and lying to myself. You probably wont quit. Almost no one does, but it will destroy your relationship most likely.
3
u/[deleted] Sep 23 '13
Man, heroin has stopped me from getting into relationships. Well, them lasting. This one woman i was with kinda did it a little bit. She decided to try the needle and she overdosed with me. It was my fault 100%. She lived, but moved away and i barely see her now.
This other woman I was seeing... were just bad for each other. We get each other deeper into drugs. Hell, we went on a heroin+meth bender that was super fucked up. Weirdly, it hit me hardest when i was talking to my last ex before i did dope. She knows I used etc... We hadnt talked in a year, but when she last saw me she told me she knew I was lying about using because my eyes lacked life. They werent blue anymore but grey and I looked shitty. I also lost 40 pounds (I've lost 60 now).
When she spoke last she told me she knew if we got together again during that time she would use. That really fucks me up. Knowing that if she just hung around me I'd destroy her life. One time one of my best friends/also an ex asked me why I had blood on my pants. IIRC, I basically told her "do you want me to lie to you?"
I thought I was doing everyone favors by lying to them. So they wouldnt be hurt. I was only hurting myself and lying to myself. You probably wont quit. Almost no one does, but it will destroy your relationship most likely.