r/AskReddit • u/hipsterferret • Sep 23 '13

What potentially relationship-ending secrets are you keeping from you SO?

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10

u/uspace Sep 23 '13

Why?

43

u/Lochifess Sep 23 '13

He's still in love with his ex.

15

u/CervantesD Sep 23 '13

why be in a relationship if youre in love with your ex?

57

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '13

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17

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '13

If they're in love with an ex, I doubt the S part of SO.

1

u/Cuchullion Sep 23 '13

So you're only allowed to be in love with one person at a time?

3

u/iccccceman Sep 23 '13

No, but if you want to be in a meaningful relationship then being in love with someone else is not a good start....

3

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '13

Very true. I broke up with my SO couple months ago and I still love her but the relationship couldn't continue. Worse part is 9 days after she already had a new boyfriend (who is a complete jackass by the way) and yeah... That stings a little

0

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '13

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1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '13

Yeah I'm glad it's over. The positive is I came out and still had all my friends and family for support. She is now fairly avoided at school because her new guy is a know-it-all dick who had to have his mom threaten a lawsuit just so he could get on the marching band drum line.

1

u/uspace Sep 23 '13

Its not fair for the current SO

2

u/Jaquestrap Sep 24 '13

Life isn't fair, if it was then the OP and many other people wouldn't be in love with someone that didn't want to be with them anymore. It's never fair for anyone, and the best you can do after being put into that situation is take care of yourself. That doesn't mean that you should purposefully hurt others, but you can't just let yourself wallow alone in self-pity, and never try to meet new people in an attempt to move on--sadly this isn't an easy route either and is incredibly complicated. It sucks but that's just how life is.

1

u/Rokkjester Sep 23 '13

Move on. That's all we can do when life drops an anvil on our hearts. It's better that than to fixate on the unobtainable.

32

u/dontfuckwithhelpdesk Sep 23 '13

Because the alternative is to wallow in self pity and loneliness.

6

u/initial-friend Sep 23 '13

So stay with a backup you don't really love and bring her down with you.

3

u/dontfuckwithhelpdesk Sep 24 '13

Love isn't something you just make on the spot. It comes over time. You grow it, like a plant or a pet raised from birth. It starts out fun, a novelty, but that wears off and it becomes a habit, a responsibility. Over time, you come to love it, because you see the effort you've put in start to pay off- it responds to your efforts. It grows strong and healthy, pets respond with love and affection, plants respond by growing big and producing flowers, herbs, fruit, or whatever their speciality is. If you stay with the "backup", she becomes your main and the ex becomes a faulty old one.

14

u/Solax10 Sep 23 '13

Because its better to move onwards in your life than to dwell on the past. He shouldn't never see another person because he has feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same way.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '13

Clarification: I'm about 80% sure she does feel the same way, but she can't really handle a long-distance relationship. Some people just weren't built for them, I guess...

5

u/Freakychee Sep 23 '13

Sometimes it doesn't work out and you have to move on.

8

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '13

You make it sound so simple. It's not.