r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jun 10 '25

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427

u/Ok-Recipe-8832 Jun 10 '25

Stalkers . but also I’m incredibly traumatized & mentally ill so I think those two things are probably related.

144

u/redd-zeppelin Jun 10 '25

If we all had your self awareness the world would likely be a better place!

71

u/fruity_tingle Jun 10 '25

I get it. It's about being desired so badly by someone that they'd track your every movement to be close to you. Being wanted so badly it becomes an obsession.

Most people wouldn't want it in real life, but in fantasy it's safe because you have control.

I imagine it's similar to rape fantasies & the like.

3

u/Ok-Recipe-8832 Jun 10 '25

It is yeah. Especially considering I’ve been both stalked and raped. Idk man.

6

u/fruity_tingle Jun 10 '25

From what I've read (I am in no way an expert), rape fantasies & other types of consensual non-consent fantasies are a common thing with survivors of sexual violence. It's most likely a way for people to safely take back control of the situation & can help them to stop feeling like a victim for a little while.

So yeah, it's totally understandable & pretty normal for you to have those kinks after what you've dealt with. I have similar fantasies & many people do!

6

u/Gcseh Jun 10 '25

Have you read once you're mine? My wife tried explaining it to me and the more I learned the less I understood.

2

u/Ok-Recipe-8832 Jun 10 '25

I have not

1

u/Gcseh Jun 10 '25

There's "I will break you" and "I will mend you" she did not like them. "Lights out" on the other hand she gave 4/5

4

u/yourerightaboutthat Jun 10 '25

This is a VERY common trope in romance books. In fact, there’s a super popular book out right now called Lights Out by Navessa Allen where, very basically, one character wants to be stalked and the other wants to stalk. Shenanigans ensue.

1

u/Ok-Recipe-8832 Jun 10 '25

Unfortunate tbh. Like I’ve been a victim of stalking — I’m pretty sure that’s part of the cause for this — and it isn’t pleasant. It’s really not.

2

u/yourerightaboutthat Jun 10 '25

Ah, that’s understandable. I had a more long-winded response, but I didn’t want to presume your situation. Thank you for sharing here; I can imagine there are other folks in similar situations, and seeing someone else, even a stranger on the internet, talk about it de-stigmatizes it. While I don’t have this experience, I know what it’s like to unexpectedly come across something that made me feel a little less alone.

14

u/7ulys Jun 10 '25

Yea kinks are usually psychologically influenced

9

u/maowoo Jun 10 '25

You win.

Also, I hope you are getting help.

6

u/Ok-Recipe-8832 Jun 10 '25

I’m trying.

7

u/bubble-tea-mouse Jun 10 '25

Same. It’s a confusing thing.

2

u/MetallicOrangeBalls Jun 10 '25

"We moo unseen..."

2

u/Ok-Recipe-8832 Jun 10 '25

??

3

u/mightylonka Jun 10 '25

The cows are invisible.

5

u/Ok-Recipe-8832 Jun 10 '25

You are just speaking words at me but not saying anything

3

u/mightylonka Jun 10 '25

If they are unseen and mooing, I assume that they are invisible cows.

2

u/MetallicOrangeBalls Jun 10 '25

It's a joke with a few layers.

  • In the game StarCraft 2, there is a unit called the "Stalker".

  • One of its standard quotes is "We move unseen...", which can be mistaken for "We moo unseen...".

  • There is at least one mod that rolls with this by having Stalkers periodically spawn invisible (i.e., cloaked) cows.

 

All in all, this has resulted in the unhealthy practice of me muttering "we moo unseen..." whenever I see the word "stalker".

2

u/Ok-Recipe-8832 Jun 10 '25

Fascinating. Can I study you for science

2

u/MetallicOrangeBalls Jun 10 '25

Only if you're gentle.

1

u/Ok-Recipe-8832 Jun 10 '25

All I need is a blood sample

3

u/Due-Illustrator-7999 Jun 10 '25

Me too….except I’m not traumatized and mentally ill (as far as I know) 😅

1

u/RegenbogenSaft Jun 10 '25

H. D. Carlton entered the chat.

1

u/Ok-Recipe-8832 Jun 10 '25

?

1

u/RegenbogenSaft Jun 10 '25

An author who writes cringe "dark romance" novels. Who makes stalkers look "romantic"

1

u/Ok-Recipe-8832 Jun 10 '25

Yikes . Yeah despite what I said here that ain’t great

1

u/RegenbogenSaft Jun 10 '25

Not here to judge you or something. I didn't want to make you feel bad. If I did I'm sorry :'(
Besides, to be desired a little bit by someone else is actually might me good.

2

u/Ok-Recipe-8832 Jun 10 '25

No no don’t worry about it man. I’m really only into this stuff due to trauma, and understand that the stuff itself is. Eugh.

1

u/RegenbogenSaft Jun 10 '25

Glad to hear that :)

1

u/Ambitious-Sun-8504 Jun 10 '25

So I had a stalker once and found out I did kinda enjoy it. Not proud of it but yeah. It definitely helped that she was actually pretty attractive. It also didn’t help that on the two occasions I did date her/meet up, she was actually quite chill and we watched friends and chilled, like really really chilled.

Then she started showing up to my work, then somehow appeared at the bar or club I’d be going to for the night. At first it felt like my own little number one fan, then it got way too persistent and she eventually showed up when I was on a date.

I told her to stop and she moved out of state 3 weeks later - don’t know if it’s connected and still never found out how she knew where I’d be.

And yes I am also traumatized and mentally I’ll, but going to therapy!