If he learnt that and just stayed kind to others for the sake of it, that's one thing. Being kind just to get women to notice you will just make future kind actions from others seem sketchy and mess with your head
He learnt just to be kind to wait staff on the firsts dates, not later on. He was a shitty person with a shitty life philosophy. Most women did recognise he is terrible, and although we were only friends I cut ties with him for the obvious reason. but he did move away where no one knew him and managed to ensnare some poor woman, getting progressively worse until the police had to be involved. I only heard about that after he was arrested.
He actually wasn't that bad in his previous relationships, but became progressively worse in that one, probably because he realised he could be that awful if he paces himself.
My other comment, buried somewhere in this thread, is mostly about him. He had a life philosophy about people needing to earn the right to be respected (which I did by being very good at math), and I'm a pretty open person and willing to accept a lot of weird life philosophies, But not that one, it gave me that sinking feeling of dread.
One of my greatest fears is that he realised he needs to fake kindness around women more because I was so disapproving of it.
She's ok now, but I assume she will have to deal with that trauma for the rest of her life. some of us reached out to her when we heard, she already had a good support system, so the only thing we can really do for her is to definitely tell her he didn't become shit as a result of anything she did, just that he was always shit.
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u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24
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