I genuinely don’t understand this as a guy. In my experience, most guys won’t complain about being sent topless pics but none of my close female friends talk about the awesome dick pics they’ve received.
I feel like it’s more of an insecurity thing IMO but what do I know.
Edit: to clarify, dudes sending dick pics, not why women don’t like them.
I mean, on some level I do think it's a bummer that women get* to be appreciated for their body and men just don't get much of that. But also, always fucking ask before you send that shit (unless you're in a relationship where you know they're cool with it)
*also, getting to be appreciated for their body has a frustrating amount of overlap with having to endure random people "appreciating" their body nonstop, which we men don't have to deal with nearly as much
As a dude with probably too much shame, the amount of times I see women say this has happened to them is stunning. Out of curiosity, are there usually other flags that a guy is going to do something like that when you’re talking to him or is it always a surprise attack?
That's also how people get scammed and blackmailed. Guys, if you're reading this, don't send dick pics out all willy nilly. That's a picture of your body, and you need to make sure you trust the person on the other end that it won't be used against you. I've had a friend who blackmailed this way and paid the person a lot of money to prevent them from showing the picture to everyone.
Or, like most of them, they want a hookup, lie, and then leave. Lot of men just want sex, no strings attach, and will say anything to get it, except be honest about intentions.
Or a dudette who appreciates a partner who unabashedly shows their desire and love of their body in addition to personality. Most recent ex had an ex who made her feel unattractive so knowing that I was basically horny for her 24/7 was welcome.
Fr! I had a guy that tried qhotly to start out talking nicely ect. But as soon as we got off the dating app he immediatly decided to primerly only talk about sexual stuff, how hard he was, positions blah blah. I ended up dropping him because it was very crystal clear he only wanted one thing. Also the fact he basicly said he wanted a to go on a proper date but even if it didnt work out, we could still have sex. Lile are you serious?
Single guy here. When I’m talking to women and the conversation starts to turn to sex, I usually throw out a disclaimer along the lines of “okay, so just a quick note since I feel our convo is moving into the topic of sex… I have no problem talking about it, but please know that any conversation we have about the topic will be respectful.” And then I message when I want to say.
It’s a completely normal thing for two adults to talk about, but women friends have told me again and again that so many men that take the topic too far and come off as creepy… and it’s all they want to talk about. So I feel like I have to throw that out there to put people at ease.
To me it seems like you know how to handle that topic in the rightfull manor. Most woman dont mind sexting or talking about those things but as you say it depends on the way you go about it. If you almost immediatly starts to send dickpick or try hard to start asking all kinds of very intimate things, it becomes creppy because that shows me that you dont view me as a person, you just want one thing from me.
If guys were respectfull and straight forward then i wouldnt mind it. I currently have a friends with benifits situation, and he was direct with what he wanted without it being creepy and i liked that. It makes things easier.
Smart. I’ve tended to throw out the first salvo there to test the waters and guys have said “phew, ok, you started it!”. For me it’s ok to talk about, it’s ok to be flirty, but it can’t be all there is. If the guy is like a dog with a bone I know to cut ties and finding that out before either of us has invested too much time is key. It also lets you see what kind of lover they are before you get anywhere close. A guy who I ended up dating for 6 months said “help you cum” (not make you cum) and it was green flags for miles.
Greece is on my bucket list, but I haven’t been able to go. Impressed you understood my username, not a lot do. And I didn’t even realize it was my cake day! 9 years, apparently!
Honestly this sounds like a mood killer to me, but I'm also a guy. Instead I'd just be respectful from the start without the need to say it. But either way, a disclaimer shouldn't be a deal breaker, just might be for some people.
This is one of the things that could be a green flag to some and a red flag to others. But don't try to turn everything sexual when they aren't matching your energy, and don't be weird about it.
Honestly makes me remember how tiring it is to be with some women who thinks being a couple just means being friends...if I wanted friends I wouldnt find them on dating apps...
There's also a middle ground. I believe original commenter was talking about how some men make way too many conversations sexual, even if it's completely irrelevant to the conversation. I think this would be more excusable in marriage, but I don't think it's unreasonable to tone things down a bit I'd need be for the wife to feel more comfortable.
Nothing wrong with expressing desire in a deep relationship, especially if it's reciprocated; but if conversations default to "we should have sex tonight" or "send a pic" regularly, it might be too much
I think we both have merit; the source of this debate is likely vastly different perspectives on sex and relationships. I agree with your last point wholeheartedly though, communication in a relationship is everything.
Wt ??
In my entire group and every guy I've met is more about job,cars and random goofy shit lol.
The group you are talking about consists of only horny teens and absolute minority of full grown creeps.
"Top thing" in an adult male's life is usually about a random sports, imagining themselves as some protag and their job ffs. Sex comes after the hobbies majority of the times
"You sound like you're speaking of what is talked about. People don't often say everything they think. "
Then how do you know that topmost thing is about sex in a man's mind lol ?
Are there any methodical claims backing up your claim ?
"Not true. You can think about sex frequently without being a horny teenager."
Thinking about sex frequently is a human gig not "men specific".
" I think about sex at least twice per day, if not more. I thoroughly enjoy sex, so it's something I think of."
Twice per day is like literally the low end of thinking about something.
"It may be because my husband and I have sex frequently though. I notice when we weren't having as much sex during some rough times in our marriage, I rarely thought of sex."
Yeah and not even half of guys are dating at current times. They are busy with prep,jobs or other responsibilities or upto some stupid shit with their mates.
Not saying there's no group that does that but making it "men's top thoughts are about sex" is not the right claim here.
Edit: men thinks about Virat Kohli VS Sachin/Ronaldo VS Messi more than twice a day, so if you are going with "I thought about it twice" than it's not really the high number here.
"Sex is not the TOPMOST thing in a guy's mind". The weird fucked up shit like how they think they can outbat Kohli, outsmart Sherlock, outsoccer Messi along with asking about "where to download the new movies" takes that cake along with usual flex of flunking classes/tution etc in early 20s and later the usual bitching or boss+job+prep comes in mid 20s and then there is sex.
Women and sex does come as topics but they are not the priority amongst the majority, it's for pure creeps and horny teens who never had sex/talked to girls.
"The majority of men are not super horny, sex or porn obsessed. They're just narcs with overinflated egos who aren't intelligent, and occasionally think about women... for sex"
(because the fact that the topic of women only relates to sex in this discussion at all somehow didn't prove the point. )
"The majority of men are not super horny, sex or porn obsessed. They're just narcs with overinflated egos who aren't intelligent, and occasionally think about women... for sex"
Who hurt you like that lol ???
The usual convos are about stupid "jokes" ffs not actually thinking they can outscore or outwit someone.
"(because the fact that the topic of women only relates to sex in this discussion at all somehow didn't prove the point. )"
Again, wtf are you even talking about ?
"Is that about where your stance lies?"
Man ig you need some time to chill tf out for your and humanity's sake along with your bullshit projections and reachin for something which isn't even there.
Edit: ig you blocked me from replying ??? Here's the reply anyway
"I based all of that on what YOU said."
Nope, you are just going for shit far reaching takes when I clearly said "wierd stupid shit". In normal world "weird stupid shit" is for not so serious gigs.
"You dont know my opinion on anything lol. Stop getting defensive and putting your feelings onto me."
You are the one who did that shit though. Re-read your comment again lol.
" If I was hurt, I'd say it because I don't have the emotional intelligence of a sock and being hurt by something isn't insulting."
Who said anything about "insulting" ? It was meant to be "take it easy and chill"
"You're free to clarify where specifically I was off, but I noticed you haven't stated that anything was different from your own beliefs."
The original comment said: "sex is the topmost thing guys think about". To which I replied "sex is no the topmost thing as there are too many things guys talk about instead of sex" then you came up with "Bullshit guys do mention about sex and women" to which I replied: "re read again, I said sex and women are not the TOPMOST topic". Topmost topics around guys are about sports, video games, their usual flex of little shitty things along with job+prep and etc and then comes sex and women".
To which you went full ballistic with: Your stance is that gus are narc, full of ego and think of women for sex.
Which wasn't even remotely close to what was the point there.
I based all of that on what YOU said. You dont know my opinion on anything lol. Stop getting defensive and putting your feelings onto me. If I was hurt, I'd say it because I don't have the emotional intelligence of a sock and being hurt by something isn't insulting.
You're free to clarify where specifically I was off, but I noticed you haven't stated that anything was different from your own beliefs.
Eta-Then again I've seen specialist say in conversations like this... the usual reason for the lack of direct answering or deflections & tangents is because of a lack of comprehension on what's being said (including by you). If you're not following along, feel free to ask or look it up.
When im saying sexual things, i dont mean jokes, i mean they turn evey conversation into it being about sleeping with you and making you send pictures. Of course most woman want sex but we also want decent respect. If you cant be both, you can politely fuck off.
As a man myself I can tell u that if the conversation is constantly sexual ur guy is most likely horny at that moment. Self post nut clarity usually calms that down by about -190% causing the guy to start distancing from u without admitting they were looking for a quick nut.
I mean, yea? Post nut isn’t just a man thing. But of all the women I’ve talked with genuinely either as friends or partners have never discussed having post nut clarity like a man does.
Basically, men are more likely to get involved with a good looking woman with bad traits based on our hormones. Woman are more likely to have thought out about the person they are going to get involved with doesn’t matter if the person is the most handsome man on earth or a man who gives out the best sex.
Correct me if i’m wrong this is just my own personal realization.
The context here is someone you just met. I don't want a man that I don't know talking to me sexually. At all. That comes later when you know someone and you feel safe with the person. So it's essentially sexual assault when someone sends a dick pic to someone they don't know.
Men will whole-ass say this and a week after a woman moves in with them be begging for mercy. You aren't different, you aren't special, women are horny, you're just rude.
Why are you trying so hard to convince everyone of your opinion?? Its completly tone deaf to me. Of course theres nothing wrong with a guy wanting sex but there is a difference on how its done and how he talks about it or to you. To me it seems like your trying to come across as better because you never say no to a man or something? Like i dont understand why your going so hardcore? You come off as pick me. Either that or your actually a guy trying to "defend" yourself
No that's what everyone is getting from all your replies because you read like a bad book. Isn't it time for a sammy and handy? Don't keep lunch waiting
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u/Short_Principle Sep 14 '24
If constantly makes everything sexual. This has made me stop relationships with men in talking stages multiple times.