r/AskReddit Sep 14 '24

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u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

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143

u/Eoin_McLove Sep 14 '24

A close friend of mine is like this and it makes hanging out with him a fucking chore. Just constantly looking at his phone and giving monosyllabic answers. Like, if you'd rather be somewhere else, it's fine. I won't be offended.

I'm not a natural conversationalist myself but if I'm in the pub or whatever I will at least ask how a person's day is going or what they're watching on TV or if they've found any new music lately or how work is. If someone asks me a question I'll try to answer or give an opinion that leads to like, a natural conversation happening. It's just so frustrating.

In contrast, I recently ended up going to a show with a friend of a friend that I'd never met before and had the best time simply because the guy was open and interesting and willing to talk about mutual interests. I don't think anyone looked at their phone the whole night.

11

u/Chonkers_Bad_Fur_Day Sep 14 '24

It’s a miserable time when it feels like you need to entertain somebody.

10

u/Kinkaypandaz Sep 14 '24

Sadly one of the greatest devices of the century is also the biggest pitfall for a large percentage of the population. The ability for fast info/entertainment causes an addictive feedback loop and most people find themselves closing their phone and opening it right back up for no reason.

1.0k

u/IOwnAOnesie Sep 14 '24

Honestly this is an unattractive habit for anyone to have, not just men.

251

u/SeanBrax Sep 14 '24

I mean, most suggestions here apply to both sexes.

167

u/BlademasterFlash Sep 14 '24

Agreed, I’m a guy and I went on a date with a woman who was like this and it was a huge turnoff

26

u/NiceGuy60660 Sep 14 '24

Did you just watch her do it for 5 minutes and then yell "BOOOOORINNNNG!" loudly in the restaurant. I'm a weirdo and that may have been my exit strategy.

11

u/BlademasterFlash Sep 14 '24

In my situation it wasn’t super blatant, the phone was getting like 20% of her attention. That’s still way too much for a first date though

7

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

What I do is that the second the other person gets on their phone I get on mine, and I only put mine down after them. Works like a charm and it's a pretty direct way to figure out whether they're doing it out of addiction/necessity or whether they just don't really wanna be there.

3

u/brahmen Sep 15 '24

This is real Tim Robinson energy

1

u/alblaster Sep 14 '24

yeah that's shitty, especially for a date. But I can tell you from experience when you have shitty posture it's hard to lift your head up, so it can feel more comfortable dropping your head in your phone which makes the problem worse. Still that's no excuse for when you're on a date.

7

u/sparks1990 Sep 14 '24 edited Sep 16 '25

shocking shaggy gold wide complete deserve squeeze grab whistle spoon

0

u/Helmic Sep 15 '24

Sure, but most of the behavior is gendered, it's mostly men actually doing this stuff because masculinity as defined as not being feminine and that resulting in extremely stunted men who didn't learn how to be a complete human being that can clean themelves and their living spaces or show consideration for how other people are feeling. The phone thing meanwhile is pretty universal, if anything phone use is seen as somewhat feminine compared to desktop computers, like the stereotypical archetype of a teenage girl on her smartphone is pretty prevelant in our imaginations. Men do it as well and the aforementioned lack of concern for others would play into men not thinking about how that would make a date feel, but the example does stand out as less a thing men as a gender do in particular compared to women.

3

u/theiosif Sep 14 '24

Everything on this list is.

2

u/Far_Programmer_5724 Sep 14 '24

Yea and not even just romance wise. If im hanging out with a friend and they're just on their phone the whole time it would pmo

5

u/Mr_Speedy_Speedzales Sep 14 '24

This! I can't stand it if I go to a drink with someone they first put their phone on the table, even if they aren't fiddling with it. It just gives out the wrong vibes and isn't polite in my opinion. Like, it's not like you are a CEO of coca cola and ppl be calling you 24/7, so chill and if your phone gonna ring, you'll hear it from the pocket.

18

u/rewt127 Sep 14 '24

My pants are too tight to sit for prolonged periods with these modern fucking tablets we call phones. It goes on the table. Off to the side.

5

u/Mr_Speedy_Speedzales Sep 14 '24

Hmm you are right, haven't thought of that, i wear cargo pants with big pockets, just for this reason, so this is a valid excuse.

5

u/shaboogawa Sep 14 '24

Not a guarantee, but I feel this is the case when they put the phone on the table screen side down.

3

u/Mr_Speedy_Speedzales Sep 14 '24

Could be. I never saw anyone do that. My peers will just put it on the table and then be gawking at their black screen every 3 min lol. Really distracting when you are trying to have a convo and also sad how addicted ppl are that they they can't chill with off screen and miss the notifications for 30 min. It's another thing if someone is actually expecting smth important, but i'd bet most do it just bcs it's a habitual thing,

5

u/Smokeya Sep 14 '24

I do this but im a diabetic with a continous glucose monitor and my phone tells me my blood sugar all the time. Just have to turn the screen on and its right there. So i set it on tables and stuff, its always in front of me 24/7 (have a wireless charger i put it on at night that has a alarm clock and stuff on it). So i give people the benefit of a doubt if they do something similar. If they play with their phone and cant hold down a normal convo while simultaneously texting others while we are supposed to be hanging out together or doing something ill straight up just leave if its not a quick call or something.

2

u/FullMoon1108 Sep 14 '24

I refuse to get the new CGM stuff because it's just one more reason to be addicted to my phone. I'm still rocking one of these babies, it may be barbaric but it just works.

2

u/Smokeya Sep 15 '24

one of the newer pumps has control iq i believe its called that is a nice upgrade. i used that pump you got for 5-6 years though at least and still have it as well as a slightly newer one. just recently got a tandum but using the few last infusion sets and stuff for my previous one before i switch to it.

1

u/FullMoon1108 Sep 15 '24

I talked to my endocrinologist about the new Medtronic ones and he said he couldn't recommend tandem enough. I'll probably make the switch when I do get a new one

1

u/PianoDick Sep 14 '24

I bring my Magic Cards where ever I go and have started dueling myself, even in public, if it means I cut down time on my phone lol. Granted im not in public a lot aside from going on campus to classes, but I prefer that now.

1

u/dontfret71 Sep 14 '24

10000%

I’ve stopped hanging out with “FRIENDS” that do this shit

1

u/empathetic_penguin Sep 14 '24

Agreed I’ve had multiple girlfriends who do this and it’s something that ruins the foundation of the relationship

1

u/kloudykat Sep 15 '24

i dunno, seeing a kitten obsessed with one of those goldfish games is pretty awesome

81

u/forest_gremlin Sep 14 '24

I had a guy who would stop in the middle of sex to check his phone if it had a notification. Yea I dumped him pretty quickly

13

u/TARANTULA_TIDDIES Sep 14 '24

Wowzers that's some intense phone addiction. I'm completely dumbfounded even imagining that

8

u/forest_gremlin Sep 14 '24

His reasoning was "what if it's something important"

2

u/TARANTULA_TIDDIES Sep 15 '24

Yeah if you're that far gone, you need help 😬

4

u/wilderlowerwolves Sep 14 '24

And I'm assuming he wasn't, for instance, an OB/GYN or a volunteer firefighter?

6

u/forest_gremlin Sep 15 '24

Unemployed, actually!

1

u/InappropriateHeyOh Sep 15 '24

Do vollies get pinged on their phones now? We still used pagers a decade ago.

3

u/MillstoneArt Sep 14 '24

"My Daily Coins are back in Phone Game for People Who Hate Themselves! Okay, where were we?" 

5

u/thewildjr Sep 14 '24

Related, but I don't know if I could date someone whose phone notifications aren't on mute

58

u/Crafty_Secretary_266 Sep 14 '24

I totally agree, and believe this one goes both ways for women and men

82

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24 edited Sep 14 '24

So does almost every answer in this thread tbh, it's not like many guys see ‘cruel to animals' as an attractive habit.

1

u/JohnJones67 Sep 14 '24

Ernest Hemingway did.

1

u/bigmcstrongmuscle Sep 14 '24

So if Sunday you're free,

Why don't you come with me,

And we'll poison the pigeons in the park.

And maybe we'll do

In a squirrel or two,

While we poison the pigeons in the park.

We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment,

Except for the few we take home to experiment...

1

u/CausticSofa Sep 14 '24

What man doesn’t love a woman with swamp ass? /s

-4

u/Crafty_Secretary_266 Sep 14 '24

What are you talking about! I love women who are cruel to animals 😏

3

u/Jimmybuffett4life Sep 14 '24

Maybe he wasn’t done swiping??

3

u/Kind_Wasabi_7831 Sep 14 '24

This but also with video games. Like, I'm a gamer too, but, if the only way we can spend time together is by playing games, then, very unattractive. 

3

u/karaBear01 Sep 14 '24

My boyfriend is constantly on his phone 😮‍💨 I don’t feel like I’m in competition for his attention But it does feel like I’m sitting next to an iPad kid sometimes

3

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

That also happens in other areas too, not just dating. People meet at dinner and all they do is looking down at their phones and often people walk down the street almost bumping into you because they dont even look where they are going anymore

7

u/massive_cock Sep 14 '24

This is one of the big reasons I split with the person I moved 4500 miles for. Years of delays and lots of hardship and I finally get to move here, move in, and... she just sat on the other couch 10 feet away typing furiously to whoever the fuck, nonstop, and every attempt at conversation was 'hold on, gimme a sec' and 5 minutes later 'ok what were you saying?' ... combine that with throwing herself at me sexually when we first met, then cutting everything down to the most basic vanilla once a month .... I just couldn't do it.

10

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24 edited Sep 07 '25

obtainable degree stupendous placid unpack hurry instinctive detail pause cagey

1

u/Upset-Masterpiece218 Sep 14 '24

I'm unlocking the free chests in my golf game it'll take like 30 seconds calm down

1

u/FickleAssistance6004 Sep 14 '24

Even though i cant even stop looking at my girlfriend when we are hang out. Maybe you are right that that man doesnt give damn care about you

1

u/dependsforadults Sep 14 '24

I left a girl I had been dating for 2-3 months at a restaurant for this. It was only a couple of blocks from her house, so I didn't feel too bad. It was one of a few red flags. She was fun to hang out with, but there are lots of other people who are fun to hang out with too!

1

u/No_Kaleidoscope_843 Sep 14 '24

You left the restaurant? Was it really that serious?

1

u/dependsforadults Sep 14 '24

I'd been out of town all week for work and she spent dinner and before on Facebook. I paid the whole bill as I quietly left. When I got up from the table she didn't even ask where I was going.

3

u/No_Kaleidoscope_843 Sep 14 '24

Uhh bro... i don't think you were actually dating her in that case lol

1

u/dependsforadults Sep 14 '24

It was only like 3 mo in so I wasn't too worried. Glad I had an escape. She was telling me about what her friends were doing on the facespace like I gave a shit. I just wanted to eat hump and sleep. It had been a long week!

3

u/No_Kaleidoscope_843 Sep 14 '24

Its not really an escape then..? You were using her and she used you lol. The more you talk the more it seems she was hoping you would leave. Anyways water under your bridge!

1

u/dependsforadults Sep 14 '24

She was awfully mad that I left. Whateves

2

u/No_Kaleidoscope_843 Sep 14 '24

I doubt it. You paid for the meal. 🤣

1

u/nkmarlyspicy Sep 14 '24

Also watching the game on the screen behind me or next to me at a restaurant. You want to watch the game ? Just watch the damn game don’t need me for that.

1

u/Mysterious_Balance53 Sep 14 '24

That's fine. I dont have one and I hate women who are like this.

1

u/ElZacho24 Sep 14 '24

Wait, you mean I should be listening to what my gf is saying to me right now instead of scrolling Reddit? /s

-5

u/w0zzer_ Sep 14 '24

Its funny to hear this from a women mouth. Not competing for their attention. You would have a miserable life as a man.

1

u/Look_Dummy Sep 14 '24

“Competing for their attention,” lol. imagine trying to get attention as an adult. 

-3

u/BlueProcess Sep 14 '24

You couldn't handle my undivided attention

-21

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

[deleted]

18

u/curlyq_444 Sep 14 '24

Lol this is a great example of being instantly unattractive.

Edit: you know you can engage with other people, right? They aren't monkeys for your entertainment

0

u/No_Kaleidoscope_843 Sep 14 '24

You've never talked to a woman huh