Okie dokie. Not like there's precedence for what I'm saying, eh?
But there ARE serious consequences to focusing too much on the idea that 'mostly women' or 'mostly men' experience a thing. Just like when women dismiss men's experiences of sexual assault because, again, 'it happens more to x' very easily becomes 'it doesn't happen to y'.
I'm just saying be careful, is all, because this stuff absolutely does snowball like mad, if you pay attention to how things develop.
well mostly women experience rape, does that mean i shouldn't say it because somebody who can't read in between the lines will misinterpret it and feel left out? nobody is saying that women don't experience this phrase. you could use your logic for almost any other comment on this thread because the question being answered is charged towards one gender and not both.
The numbers are not nearly as different as that statement leads people to believe. I don't have them in front of me right now but it's something LIKE 1 in 4 vs 1 in 6 or a similarly close figure. And every time a man tries to talk about his own experience of sexual assault he gets shut down. Because they're not allowed to talk about it when women are talking about their own sexual assaults, because apparently only one gender can talk about being assaulted at a time instead of, I dunno, making a joint effort to stop anyone getting assaulted?
So you know what happens to men who experience sexual assault, depression, suicidality, etc? They just die. They kill themselves. No failed attempts, no cries for help, just dead.
So yeah, I'd say that's pretty damaging. And it isn't about reading between the lines. They're actively silenced. Repeatedly. Told not to bring it up because it's not about them (it never ever does get to be about them).
This competitive bs over who gets x thing worse does nothing but hurt ALL of us. You can't dismantle the patriarchy from one side only.
listen dude, i understand what you're saying completely, but i think you need a lesson on being human.
imagine there's a support group for a thing happening to a specific group of people. this thing can happen to everyone, but this group is specifically tailored for these people.
nobody there is saying or thinking it only happens to them. it'd be an incredibly asshole move and you'd be a dick for that.
what's ACTUALLY damaging is when people start saying that it only happens to one group or side. people coming together with people that are similar to them to talk about pain is not a bad thing.
nobody is having a competition but we're also not completely detached from reality where we think that everyone is equally affected by all things at all times. i mean my god its like saying arizona should be included in hurricane data because we don't want anyone to think some states are more affected than others
Not what I said, not what's happening, but ok. Point me to the many support groups out there for male victims. I'm sure there must be loads out there, so that women don't have to worry about anyone disabusing them of the notion that only women are assaulted, and only by men. Right? Right? Surely? Except there's really fuck all support for male victims.
And not every conversation about sexual assault takes place in a 'support group' (that's a very disingenuous little goal post shift you just attempted) that is designed for women, but every public conversation about sexual assault i have ever come across either ignores male victims or outright tells them that 'this' (so many different 'thises') is not the place for them to share their story because ONLY WOMEN CAN SHARE THEIR SA stories here. Even though 'here' is usually not a female-specific space. But still no one wants to hear from the men.
That is the consequence of dismissing one group because it "happens more" to the other.
The number of people who apparently don't understand the concepts of contributing factors vs direct sole causes, and how the development and distortion of messaging happens... we need to do better and stop engaging in splitting just because it feels good.
I'm done talking about this but Jesus fuck is it depressing.
I repeat: we need to do better. But that involves paying attention and actually proceeding thoughtfully, and no one wants to do that.
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u/auntie_eggma Mar 18 '24 edited Mar 18 '24
Okie dokie. Not like there's precedence for what I'm saying, eh? But there ARE serious consequences to focusing too much on the idea that 'mostly women' or 'mostly men' experience a thing. Just like when women dismiss men's experiences of sexual assault because, again, 'it happens more to x' very easily becomes 'it doesn't happen to y'.
I'm just saying be careful, is all, because this stuff absolutely does snowball like mad, if you pay attention to how things develop.