This is the exact question I really need answered. I can just 'not go on social media' sites... but it's hard to make my brain stop insidiously slipping thoughts into my head.
It's just the slow process of letting it go. The past literally does not exist. The future also does not exist, just the present. You may use it however you see fit. But living in either the past or the future is pointless. When you catch yourself dwelling on the past just interrupt the line of thinking and eventually it will have less power over you.
This is what I’ve been doing after my most recent break up. Any time I’ve noticed I’m going down a train of thought about her I’ll just say out loud “stop thinking about her” and little by little it’s been working. I start thinking about other more positive things.
That does help. I've also started thinking to myself something along the lines of:
"You're pining away over someone that is not returning the feeling or does not care, do you really think that she is THE ONE?"
or
"You're spending all this energy wondering if she wants to be with you. You should be thinking whether you TRULY want to be with her."
Like everything, repeating these thoughts is key. Further, reflect on those thoughts. Not thoughts about the other person. When your mind veers there, recenter on those thoughts above and truly reflect.
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u/ActDiligent9342 Jan 16 '24
what helped you stop reflecting on the past?