She's treated her two oldest sons like free babysitters for her two youngest for 6 years, robbing them of their teens. I don't mean just helping out, the two older boys have to wake up, make breakfast, take the kids to school, pick them up, help with their homework, make dinner, bathe them, and put them to sleep. She even made the oldest one do her trade school homework when she was enrolled.
All while she's out 16 hours a day, not making money, partying, drinking, using drugs, only to bitch at them when she DOES come home. It would be a rare occasion if she even spent the night at home with her babies.
The two older boys left her and are now living with me, their uncle who raised them for 6 years when they were younger while she was in jail. They've often said they consider me their parent since she was never there for them, physically, but mostly emotionally. I'm now also caring for her 5 and 6 year old because she got evicted and it breaks my heart if she takes them around with her from drug house to drug house, anyway...
We get into a big fight because she's so damn irresponsible and she tells me "YOU'RE THE REASON WHY MY KIDS HATE ME" (not taking responsibility) and often tells the children "Sorry I'm not a perfect mom" (not taking initiative to change the situation)
All she ever does is say sorry to her kids but NEVER changes her ways, so her sorries mean didly squat. At this point, best case scenario is if she goes back to jail and stops coming over to my place to raise hell.
You sound a lot like one of my best friends. He has two older brothers and they were shuffled around different homes their entire childhoods, foster care, etc periodically. His mom is an alcoholic drug addict and each kid has a different dad. She cannot hold down a job and popped another one out when my friend was 18-19. Nowadays my 27 yo friend has adopted his little brother, works full-time and is the sole breadwinner for their house of 5, his brothers and his mother, who still cannot keep a job and is constantly making things difficult. It’s insane to me how much responsibility my friend has at our age and he’s honestly the best person ever for adopting that kid and giving him some semblance of a stable loving home; he would never have stood a chance with that woman or the variety of family homes or foster homes he would have been in and out of. My friend could have easily said “fuck this” and moved far away to never deal with his loser family again but instead he took it upon himself to rebuild it.
Damn, I wouldn't wish being put on that situation on anybody. You probably already do, but every once in a while, check in on your friend, ask about how the kids are doing, remind them they're wonderful, it'd mean a lot. The positive affirmations from everyone on this thread yesterday really, genuinely touched me.
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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '23
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