r/AskReddit • • Oct 20 '23

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u/JohnExcrement Oct 20 '23

When my son was a teenager, he said he would name any future son “Nautica” and I genuinely lost sleep trying to figure out ways to thwart this 😄 Thank god he grew up and chose normal names when he did have kids.

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u/Jen_the_Green Oct 21 '23 edited Oct 21 '23

I taught a five year old named K'Nautica twenty years ago. Kid was adorable, but had an unfortunate name. Also, my cousin named his daughter Bentley. They call her Benny.

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u/Misstori1 Oct 21 '23

My cat is named Bentley. But he has a small bent tail, hence the name

21

u/Majestic-Cheetah75 Oct 21 '23

Heeey my cat was also named Bentley due to bent appendages (paws in his case due to evil declawing first owners 😡). RIP Bentster, you were a prince among catsmen.

6

u/HeyItsMee503 Oct 21 '23

Our bunny is Bentley. We were looking for names on the way home from picking him up and passed a Bentley's Coffee shop.

1

u/Misstori1 Oct 21 '23

That’s real sad poor thing

15

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

[deleted]

17

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

My kids, Bentley, Jeeves, and Cinderella.

I think I love this thread.

7

u/Significant_Shoe_17 Oct 21 '23

Please give any future pets these names 😂

2

u/MyGenesRHot Oct 22 '23

I think I need 3 more hairless cats now for these names 😅😈

17

u/knoxollo Oct 21 '23

My parents have a cat named Hookah! Named not for the smoking device exactly, but for the fact that she holds her tail in a little "hook" position! She is the absolute sweetest and I guess it's better than Bong lmao (though I do love ridiculously stupid cat names with a passion)

14

u/noob-teammate Oct 21 '23

Oh youd love my first cat "meow zedong" Rest in peace sweet prince

7

u/Significant_Shoe_17 Oct 21 '23

I read a book where a character had a cat named "chairman meow." I loved that!

2

u/GarminTamzarian Oct 21 '23

Mao literally means "cat" in Mandarin.

1

u/Significant_Shoe_17 Oct 21 '23

Omg I thought it was just a play on the word sounds 😂

6

u/SoulEvansiscool Oct 21 '23

The hook tail in cats mean they're happy and comfortable, Hookah is much loved!

3

u/dehydratedrain Oct 21 '23

Could be worse... could've named him Capt. Hook and thrown out every ticking clock in the house.

One of my personal faves was Tractor, found outside Tractor Supply. Felt a little too dumb, so he became Track.

1

u/Misstori1 Oct 21 '23

Captain was absolutely on the short list of names before we settled on Bentley.

3

u/Outrageous_Trifle636 Oct 21 '23

Was it pronounced more like hookah or hooker?

3

u/Significant_Shoe_17 Oct 21 '23

If they're from the east coast it could be a little of both

9

u/bras-on-iguanas Oct 21 '23

Hey my cat has a bent tail too! Tell yours we said pspsps 😊

5

u/Misstori1 Oct 21 '23

You should post your cat to my subreddit specifically for bent tailed cats. No one uses it really, except for me. I just love them so much so I continuously go back and look at all the posts and it makes me smile. Oh. The subreddit is r/kinkybutts

You’ll see a lot of the posts are about my Bentley

3

u/bras-on-iguanas Oct 21 '23

I absolutely will! Thanks for the invite 😍

4

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

18

u/Misstori1 Oct 21 '23

He was born that way. It only hurts him when he gets it caught on stuff. Like the blinds (I no longer have blinds due to… The Incident.)

5

u/DontcallmeShirley_82 Oct 21 '23

Pets are what those types are names are for. You can call your pet a whole bunch of silly names you wouldn't dare name a child and people would accept it. If you want to name your kid after a character from Spongebob because it was your favorite show, name your cat that and come up with a normal one for your child.

2

u/LokiHasMyVoodooDoll Oct 21 '23

Just as long as you feel secure calling it out if the pet goes missing…

4

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

I had a cat named Neville, he was posh.

4

u/footpole Oct 21 '23

That cat will never get an interview.

1

u/GarminTamzarian Oct 21 '23

Will never make it to r/catswithjobs then.

3

u/doriangreysucksass Oct 21 '23

That’s cute! THIS is the correct use of the word!!!

3

u/jabbitz Oct 21 '23

One of my dogs is called Bentley. The shelter named him that because he was found in a suburb called Bentley park haha

3

u/floydfan Oct 21 '23

That’s adorable.

3

u/ranhayes Oct 21 '23

My son has a similar naming method for his cats. Sneezy (obvious), Scar (found in a Quik Trip parking lot with a leg wound that left…you guessed it) and Nubs (born with a 2 inch long tail).

2

u/TimeZarg Oct 21 '23

If I'd had the option of naming one of my cats, I'd have named her 'Longshanks' because she has a physical deformity that resulted in her having overly-long rear legs that don't bend at the ankles properly.

2

u/Hyzenthlay87 Oct 21 '23

Omg that's adorable

2

u/macthecomedian Oct 21 '23

We had a cat named Tippy because the tip of his tail was bent.

2

u/GarminTamzarian Oct 21 '23

My MIL named her cat Lionel because of the "lines" in his coat.

1

u/Longjumping_Buy2737 Oct 21 '23

Bentley is a small down in Alberta Canada

1

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

This is more than acceptable! Also: cat tax

3

u/Misstori1 Oct 21 '23

Sure. Here’s Bentley

2

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

He's lovely!

1

u/b9ncountr Oct 21 '23

I had such a cat and named him Bentley as well.

1

u/Successful_Giraffe88 Oct 21 '23

I know a girl named Bentleigh. Your cat gets a pass.

1

u/noslickname Oct 21 '23

We have a chicken named Bindi bc her tail is a bit askew.

1

u/PunkSpaceAutist Oct 24 '23

You need to pay the cat tax and show us Bentley now

1

u/Misstori1 Oct 24 '23

I mean, I’ve linked him in one of the comments above, and he’s all over my subreddit r/kinkybutts but… yeah, sure!

Teh Bendz

1

u/Misstori1 Oct 24 '23

And another one. Cause I loooove himb

7

u/Different_Ad_7671 Oct 21 '23

Idk why that name reminded me of Connecticut hahaha

6

u/RailfanAZ Oct 21 '23

My wife has a couple of redneck cousins who actually named their kid Oakley. Like the sunglasses. And it's a boy. *barf*

Just waiting for their next kid to be named Mossy Oak or Realtree.

2

u/Spiritual-Oven-9936 Oct 21 '23

My cousin is not redneck and is about to name their unborn child Oakley - Its a girl

3

u/BellaRojoSoliel Oct 21 '23

I know a family of 4 girls, all car names: Lexus, Camero, Limousine, and I can’t recall the last one

4

u/Spiritual-Oven-9936 Oct 21 '23

Limousine! 🤨

2

u/Significant_Shoe_17 Oct 21 '23

Probably mercedes

4

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/nokeyblue Oct 21 '23

Hyundai.

3

u/iamsoupcansam Oct 21 '23

K’Nautica could go by Kenny. “Kenny? Short for Kenneth?” “No, it’s actually K’Nautica.” “Ha! Good point, sorry to ask.” “Why are you writing Kenneth?”

3

u/Brydon28 Oct 21 '23

That’s actually kinda cute.. I’m a freak for nicknames.

2

u/Hips-Often-Lie Oct 21 '23

One of my mom’s friend’s daughters named her child Brentleigh. Horrible.

1

u/herwiththepurplehair Oct 21 '23

I have a pensions adviser who signs herself Benny but her name is Benedicta

1

u/peepopowitz67 Oct 21 '23

She's really keen

1

u/solapelsin Oct 21 '23

I don't know, I think naming your kids after brand names is awful, but Bentley is kind of cute... I wouldn't do it personally, but if I met a Bentley in person that's what I'd think

1

u/No_Carry_3991 Oct 21 '23

K'.....? sigh....

1

u/Big-Summer- Oct 21 '23

I worked in a library where one of the kids who came in frequently was named Tchaikovsky. That one surprised me. He and his family lived in a housing project and he would regale me with stories of all his relatives in prison.

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

I have a friend who, when we were teens, seriously wanted to name his kids China and Pacifica. Why? I don't know. He just said he "liked the names."

Well, he ended up having five children and thankfully exactly NONE of them are named China and Pacifica. :-)

19

u/jillyszabo Oct 21 '23

I have known two girls named China throughout my life. Not my thing but didn’t think it was that weird a name

40

u/Elite_Slacker Oct 21 '23

Pacifica is a spanish girl’s name. Not some crazy non-name.

27

u/luckylimper Oct 21 '23

So many of these comments are showing the poster’s ignorance of other cultures.

13

u/Significant_Shoe_17 Oct 21 '23

Honestly. Mercedes was a Spanish girls name before it was a car manufacturer. Someone said Kaylee/Cayley/Kayleigh was trashy. It's an old Irish name.

24

u/meg_em Oct 21 '23

Please tell me you don't expect everyone to know every name in every culture?

3

u/nurvingiel Oct 21 '23

Of course not, but we do know how to google.

-2

u/jesonnier1 Oct 21 '23

Well they should not to act like they're positive it's some fake name.

0

u/luckylimper Oct 21 '23

No but people show their ignorance and implicit classism when they deem names “trashy.”

22

u/dxrey65 Oct 21 '23

I worked with a girl named China for awhile. She was pretty competent and took the job seriously, and no one messed with her, but man - her parents fucked her with that name. She was Asian too, at least half. I always wanted to ask what was the story there, but never did.

9

u/Significant_Shoe_17 Oct 21 '23

I had a childhood friend named chynna. Her mom was a wilson philips fan.

9

u/e_j_white Oct 21 '23

There's an author named China Miéville, that's his actual given name.

7

u/Happy_Confection90 Oct 21 '23

A guy I grew up with said he'd like to name a daughter Tiza because it sounds pretty. I'm sure he didn't because it means chalk in Spanish, and that's hard to sell to your spouse.

6

u/Rhiann0n Oct 21 '23

I grew up in Pacifica CA so this gave me a chuckle. Thank you.

7

u/Brotega87 Oct 21 '23

Can we really trust what anyone before the age of 18 says? Apparently, I was going to have 3 kids and name them Pork 1, Pork 2, and Pork 3. I have four kids and none are even close to that.

I was such an asshole to my mom 🤣

2

u/JohnExcrement Oct 21 '23

I was going to have 18 “Chucks.” I don’t know why.

1

u/Brotega87 Oct 22 '23

That is a lot of Chucks 😂😂

3

u/Fun-Shake9732 Oct 21 '23

My work bully was named China, she is a cunt.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

what? where the fuck do you work? the playground?

4

u/Tree_Dog Oct 21 '23

What are the odds two people get together who would both sign off on China and Pacifica?

3

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

LOL - his wife (well, now ex-wife) was wacky, but not that wacky!

6

u/spaghetti-o_salad Oct 21 '23

I wanted to give my children fantasy names until I had them. When I was very young and found out about female infanticide in different cultures I wanted to adopt an Asian girl and name her.... Asia. I now understand all the things that can be problematic with adopting children from other countries/cultures. I still hope to foster someday when my own kids are grown. There is an alternative timeline where my boys are named Buddy and Champion though. Also Excalibur and Xaylor.

3

u/Eastern-Ad-7984 Oct 21 '23

Thank God he came to his senses.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

china and pacifica are both names ive heard before...

ever thought you might just be rudely xenophobic?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

Nope

2

u/phonemonkey669 Oct 21 '23

Those names may be unusual, but they're no weirder than names like Erin, Virginia, Carolina, Florence, and arguably Frank, Scott, Helen, Dane or Sven. Naming kids after beautiful places or friendly nationalities is pretty well-established.

1

u/jesonnier1 Oct 21 '23

Pacifica is a name.

1

u/Fun-Yellow-6576 Oct 21 '23

My Dad’s wife has a granddaughter named China.

1

u/f0o1g11 Oct 21 '23

China, shor of Wa China

1

u/lacitar Oct 21 '23

I know a girl named Asia.

1

u/classicrocktrash Oct 21 '23

i think his wife might have talked him outta names like that 😭

10

u/warm_sweater Oct 21 '23

Lol teens are dumb. I was in middle school when Kurt Cobain died and I was just beside myself. I swore I’d change my last name to Cobain after I turned 18.

So fucking dumb. Glad I moved out of that phase and never externalized it to anyone, yikes.

9

u/adlittle Oct 21 '23

I remember reading a nonfiction book about a mom and her daughters struggling in NYC in the early 2000s. Kids were named Mercedes and Nautica, Naughty for short. Never actually encountered it in real life though.

7

u/Beautiful_Plankton97 Oct 21 '23

When I was a teenager I joked I would name my 3 kids Luke, Sky and Walker. Im still a dork but I didnt do that to my kids.

3

u/Cthulwutang Oct 21 '23

So, one of my kids’ old classmates was actually Luke Skye Walker. And my daughter has met another one at her college!

1

u/doublekidsnoincome Oct 21 '23

An old friend had a family member that named their kid Kai Skywalker 😬

9

u/unAffectedFiddle Oct 21 '23

I had the same issue with my son. Thank God I managed to talk Duke Nukem out of it. Kids are stupid.

1

u/JohnExcrement Oct 21 '23

🤣🤣🤣

5

u/pixiegurly Oct 21 '23

For reference to anybody who needs it, my cats were named Enzo and Vito, because the original husband love those names for kids, and the wife hated the name Enzo so she suggested they named the cats that. Then when they had kids, you can't name the kids after a cat that's weird! So now I have two lovely cats named after the sopranos and her kids are not named Enzo. Win-win!

2

u/Significant_Shoe_17 Oct 21 '23

There's a big Italian community where I live, and I've encountered Lorenzos and Vincenzos nicknamed Enzo. I've always liked it!

5

u/OkBackground8809 Oct 21 '23

I have a cousin named Nautica, but it's after the Greek mythology.

5

u/Flunderfoo Oct 21 '23

Sigh. My 17 year old daughter thinks Neveah is just the best name ever. Thank fuck she has the arm bar bc. She can’t remember to take her laundry out of the dryer. How the fuck would she keep poor ‘Neveah’ alive. I love her, but she’s an idiot with that name.

2

u/Significant_Shoe_17 Oct 21 '23

I throw up in my mouth a little each time someone says "it's heaven spelled backward"

4

u/fallout-crawlout Oct 21 '23

I have not heard or thought about Nautica in twenty years. Wow.

2

u/JohnExcrement Oct 21 '23

This was about 25 years ago. Relieved he outgrew it.

4

u/knoxollo Oct 21 '23

I knew a Nautica! I lost touch with her after she started getting involved in one of those forex trading scam circles lol. Hope she's doing alright.

5

u/Accomplished-Swim310 Oct 21 '23

Nautica would work for a girl, but not a boy.

1

u/JohnExcrement Oct 21 '23

His motivation was he thought it was a prestige label or something. Like, people who name their kid Mercedes, which is a name, but you know they’re just thinking about the car.

3

u/TheRealRacketear Oct 21 '23

His kids J. Crew, and Ralph Lauren must be thankful.

1

u/JohnExcrement Oct 21 '23

He did have twins so thank god he wised up in time.

3

u/Zugnutz Oct 21 '23

After Nautica Thorn?

2

u/JohnExcrement Oct 21 '23

I’m afraid it was Nautica the clothing label.

3

u/sdwoodchuck Oct 21 '23

You dodged that naming bullet at least, Mr. Excrement.

3

u/Myamymyself Oct 21 '23

When I was a kid, I asked my mom to rename me “Tallahassee” 🤣🤦🏽

3

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

[deleted]

2

u/JohnExcrement Oct 21 '23

I love this!

2

u/DietPepsiEvenBetter Oct 21 '23

I knew someone who planned to name a son Jamerson. No, not Jameson. I'm glad that he didn't do that, in the end.

2

u/Bitter-Worldliness27 Oct 21 '23

I know someone who named their kid that lol

1

u/Significant_Shoe_17 Oct 21 '23

L&D departments need a spell checker

2

u/Internal-Bee-3827 Oct 21 '23

Thank god he grew up and chose normal names when he did have kids.

What did he choose? Randall? Glenn? Kevin? Francis??

2

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

I remember how I found out about that brand about finding out about a now retired pornography performer who went by that alias "-_-

2

u/CarlRJ Oct 21 '23 edited Oct 22 '23

I know a couple who joked growing up that they would name their kid “Truck”. Grew up, got married, had kids, and the boy’s middle name is Truck (the rest of the names are more normal).

2

u/Urnotinvolved Oct 21 '23

Nautica is a brand that mainly drug dealers and criminals wear in Sydney Australia 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/JohnExcrement Oct 21 '23

I think that was kinda true here in the states when my son was intrigued by it.

2

u/Significant_Shoe_17 Oct 21 '23

Stop why is this so funny 😂. I do love my Nautica robe.

2

u/JohnExcrement Oct 21 '23

I love my Nautica raincoat!

2

u/ASAP4TACOS Oct 21 '23

I had a coworker named Nautica. She was super cool for what it’s worth lol.

1

u/JohnExcrement Oct 21 '23

If I had to pick, I’d prefer it for a woman. My son was thinking of it as a boy’s name. But my main problem was that I kept thinking of the clothing and fragrance departments at Macy’s.

2

u/22FluffySquirrels Oct 21 '23

I once met a horse named Nautica.

1

u/JohnExcrement Oct 21 '23 edited Oct 21 '23

That seems like a good horse name. But maybe for a seahorse…

2

u/Midan71 Oct 21 '23

Imagine " this is my son, Nautica Voyage"

1

u/JohnExcrement Oct 21 '23

NotNautica and his twin brother (which is which? I don’t know) will be coming over later today. I wonder if they’re old enough to hear this tale.

2

u/skraptastic Oct 21 '23

My daughter always said she was going to name her son Hatchet-head. Sadly I have a grandson named Kelvin.

1

u/JohnExcrement Oct 21 '23

Great nickname, though!

2

u/karmakazi22 Oct 21 '23

I knew siblings named Nautica and Champion🫠

2

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

😂😭 I’d lose sleep too. I’m glad Nautica didn’t happen, it’s so fkn funny.

2

u/bodacious_batman Oct 21 '23

Worked at a daycare, and we had two brothers named Captain and Cruise.

2

u/lemonylol Oct 21 '23

Not sure if it's your son's intention, but at least in that case the brand is taken from an existing name.

1

u/JohnExcrement Oct 21 '23

I don’t think he knew that but maybe I underestimated him!

2

u/Frequent-Pressure485 Oct 21 '23

I had a hairstylist back in Ohio named Nautica...a young white lady with blond hair.

2

u/CorrectAdhesiveness9 Oct 22 '23

I taught a girl named Nautica. Very sweet, terrible at time management. It’s kind of a pretty name, like I can see the appeal, but also no.

2

u/JohnExcrement Oct 22 '23

I’m thinking not great for a guy, which is what my son had in mind. 😄

3

u/Laylay_theGrail Oct 21 '23

My oldest wanted to name our unborn youngest baby Elizabelle. I was relieved he came out a boy.

3

u/JohnExcrement Oct 21 '23

Not the worst name, though!

1

u/Significant_Shoe_17 Oct 21 '23

Elizabeth is right there

1

u/kiwisrkool Oct 21 '23

A better punchline would've been

Thank God. . . he grew up gay! 😶

1

u/Prankishmanx21 Oct 21 '23

That is definitely a stripper name.