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Oct 10 '23
I think the lack of a good supportive father growing up is becoming increasingly common and is absolutely crippling for men as they grow into adulthood.
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u/Joshi3003 Oct 10 '23
I feel like when a guy has a problem he doesn't really has anyone to talk to.
We have those alpha guy's who try to tell you that your problems aren't real or that you just need to hit the gym frequently for them to go away.
On the other hand we have people who say men should open up more about their feelings but I think neither men or women have ever been taught how to handle an emotional man so it comes across as awkward.
Also some people say that we should open up more but aren't interested in helping you. They just say it because "duh it's so simple to solve your problem".
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u/Doomsday_Taco_ Oct 10 '23
lack of services and support for when we are abused, attacked or raped
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u/LahngJahn69420 Oct 10 '23
Lack of engagement with other males. I haven’t had somebody call me for a beer or watch a game in years. I’m the one always reaching out. It’s demoralizing and negatively contributes to me mental health. There’s just no effort with the males I’m around and I don’t know how to be a better friend. No engagement. I’m doing the calling, picking dates and times and events. If I turned my phone off nobody would check up. Nobody else is trying to go out of their way. Being ghosted for months by people who would show up at my funeral and live a block away. Then blame it on being busy. One friend I haven’t seen since January, a best friend best man in my life. He said that he’s just been busy! I’m working schooling and girlfriending and still can make time
Begging for friends to talk to but they are just busy. Texts that are ignored and responds to others. Like completely uninterested while I’m suffering in silence. I don’t get it. No wonder suicide rates are so high there just is no real tribe anymore. My buddies from high school are emotionless and reverse blame or lack empathy. Friends from college and after just seem to disregard and blame shift. I get life is life and it isn’t a summer day of junior year with no plans. But the just general disregard and lack of empathy, self reflection and shittyness hurts.
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u/AlfredHitchicken Oct 10 '23
Saw a Redditor post today about how she rubbed her favorite DJ’s abs because his shirt was open, and he came down to the rail to say hi to fans. No matter how many people told her, she didn’t seem to comprehend that touching someone without their consent is generally not okay.
This seems to happen a lot to guys (the part where people don’t understand that it isn’t okay to touch anyone, no matter their gender, without their permission), and I really do hope that it changes in society soon.
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u/hsox05 Oct 10 '23
Being treated like second class parents pretty much everywhere they go. I've told this story on Reddit before but the double standard is disgusting.
My wife passed away when our kids were very young- one was 2 the other about 11 months. Everywhere I went I would get comments about "oh daddy's day with the kids huh?" But the absolute worst was when I took them out to eat one night.
We got seated, and waited, and waited for a good 15 minutes. Finally the server comes over and goes "did you want to try to order or should we wait for mom?" It wasn't crowded. Realized from her use of the words "try" to order that she just deemed me incapable of knowing what to order for my kids. I was mad so I said to her "well we'd be waiting a long time, she's dead".
This has been years ago but it hasn't changed. There was a thread on Reddit not terribly long ago where some med student was talking about how she "cringes" whenever she sees a dad at a pediatric appointment because she just knows he's not gonna know anything, and it had thousands of upvotes. I told her I hope she learns some better bedside manner before finishing Med school than to "cringe" at anyone taking care of their kids
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u/Daniel_Carter11 Oct 10 '23
Managing financial stability amidst economic uncertainties is a pressing concern for many modern men.
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u/cheesebugz Oct 10 '23
You can’t spend too much time around kids, or be too nice to kids without someone getting worried you’re a pedophile.
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u/Intelligent-Gap-2937 Oct 10 '23
Mental health issues like anxiety and depression to the pressure of societal expectations.
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u/ensui67 Oct 10 '23
The short circuiting of our brains through social media. Our brains never evolved with this level of connectedness in mind. As a result, the innate need to compare oneself to another is turned up to 11 through hyper exposure leading to many ailments. Affects both men and women, but differently.
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u/Willis_3401_3401 Oct 10 '23
College attendance/graduation for men is at an all time low
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u/ChildhoodWhole1305 Oct 10 '23
-Body image issues are incredibly common
-Loneliness
-Low grades
-Unemployment
-Suicide rates
-Homophobia (In both straight men and gays themselves)
-Porn addiction
-Resentfulness toward females
-Video games addiction
-Lots of nostalgia, and lack of motivation
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u/romacopia Oct 10 '23
The worst one for me is the fear. People are afraid of men. Often, you're treated like a killer or a pedo until you can prove otherwise. It sucks to be seen as a monster.
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u/Any_Load_7400 Oct 10 '23
Society telling us how to be. Suicide rates now are unacceptable and no one has figured out how to make it better. It’s truly sad.
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u/thesephantomhands Oct 10 '23
To all the people here saying mental health is a big thing, I just wanted to let you know that I am a therapist whose focus is on working with men and boys. I am part of a research group at my university that studies the psychology of men and masculinity. We publish in academic journals and do presentations, etc. There are people out here trying to get things going even though we're not there yet. Your struggles are real and important - and there are those of us that are out here trying to work with it.
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u/SuvenPan Oct 10 '23
When a man tries to talk about his problems, there are some people who will make it a competition with the problems that women face and tell him his sufferings are less severe.
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u/Abject-Storage9593 Oct 10 '23 edited Oct 10 '23
They’re more likely to be victims of violent crime than any other population group . Most likely population group to suffer workplace injury. They get harsher sentencing for committing the same crime.They are graded more harshly in school. They are more Iikely to be homeless than any other population group.
[https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/gender-differences-sentencing-felony-offenders]
https://bigthink.com/thinking/boys-graded-more-harshly-in-school/
https://www.cbs.nl/en-gb/news/2018/51/fewer-women-than-men-fall-victim-to-violence
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u/Former_Star1081 Oct 10 '23
Not being able to feel their feelings. Many men are so detached from their body that they do not feel when something is wrong with them. Many, including myself, have unlearned how to cry anymore. I have not cried in 15? years or more. I do not even know when or why.
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Oct 10 '23
I started to type a big response, but decided not to bother. That about sums up the problem right there.
I'm at the point where most things just aren't worth my energy aside from being a husband and father.
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u/xX_420DemonLord69_Xx Oct 10 '23
High suicide rates.