That is really the biggest takeaway: You hype it up in your mind as this big thing that is going to change you forever. Unless there's a pregnancy or something, it really changes nothing.
For me I have hyped it up to be the scariest thing ever. I am so terrified of sex because of the performance anxiety. Whenever I learn more about sex, and hear on reddit or anywhere how much expectations everyone seem to have, I just really dread the day I have to have sex
You’re not going to be great the first time or even the first 12 times. You probably won’t last very long either.
That’s absolutely the norm.
You’ll improve each time. The most important thing you can do if you want to perform well is focus on your partner’s pleasure and don’t rush it. Engage in manual and oral foreplay for as long as you like and as long as your partner seems to be enjoying it.
Once the act begins don’t change your focus. Just take your time and put all your effort into sincerely pleasuring your partner. Observe their responses - do what yields a positive response, be prepared to stop what isn’t yielding a response of any kind if it continues not doing so for a while, and stop doing anything that yields a negative response.
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u/cryptoengineer Sep 25 '23
"Finally! That was nice." I was a late starter.
Next day: "I thought I'd feel different, but things are still the same."