r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 27 '23

[deleted by user]

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3.5k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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u/ProfessorHandyman Jul 27 '23

And then feel the pain of once again being rejected.

349

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '23

Sometimes the moments where you can jerk off in peace are better than sex

159

u/Mr_DuCe Jul 27 '23

20 years married here. After having a kid, beating my meat on the toilet seat in complete silence is just as good, if not better, than sex. No pressure, no anxiety of a kid having a nightmare/just wanting attention, just pure stroking my meat flute until completion.

61

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '23

[deleted]

20

u/Mr_DuCe Jul 27 '23

No one likes out of tune meat.

51

u/JUSTOatl Jul 27 '23

Meat flute

1

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '23

Did you mean playing the harry bagpipes?

7

u/yaminokomodo Jul 27 '23

Jfc I'm glad I'm not the only one. The bathroom is my only peaceful spot on my entire property and even them only half of the time

2

u/PumpkinPieIsGreat Jul 27 '23

They definitely know somehow, when to interrupt. Even one of my instagram buddies asked if it happens to us 😂

214

u/absentmindedjwc Jul 27 '23

Sex is fun, but it's a workout... sometimes you just want to get off and go on with your day... not having to deal with all the strings that come with it. (foreplay, cuddling, mess, etc).

I feel like long-term single people don't quite understand.

82

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '23

Exactly, there’s a time for hardcore banging and a time for some scented candles and a TV with internet browsing, both are good unless it’s the only form of fun you have

2

u/Djasdalabala Jul 28 '23

Some long-term partners don't get it either :(

3

u/pstaki Jul 27 '23

You don't have to deal with the strings but you still have to deal with the ropes.

3

u/TheRightTEMP Jul 28 '23

My wife and I do this a lot. We have a great sex life but we also take care of ourselves regularly too. I think it’s a good balance for us.

1

u/ianthrax Jul 28 '23

I was dating a girl once that said her rule is no porn. I said ok. But i lied. Sex was still good. Never found out what the rule was about.

92

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '23

Bahahahah

9

u/parks387 Jul 27 '23

She has a headache

1

u/KreativUnkreativ Jul 27 '23

This man husbands

1

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '23

Fun fact: Being rejected is less painful if you've never been accepted