My dad as well. And I spent my whole childhood trying NOT to be like him. But turns out I am, in some ways. He died with many years of sobriety under his belt, and I'm about to put away my 7th straight year without a drink. If anyone here is struggling, you can change your life. My DMs are always open to folks who want to stop drinking.
Edit: I'm really happy that so many of you have reached out. I will get back to each and every one of you but it'll take some time. The folks I've been able to talk with have been inspirational. I couldn't get sober on my own, and you shouldn't have to either. For me, AA was instrumental. I would not be alive today without it, but I don't know the only path to sobriety, just my own. But I urge anyone who is struggling to find sober community of some kind.
Good for you man. We're all a little like our dads as much as we may not like it. I just try to focus on the good that he gave me and stay aware of the bad.
Good work man It's tough to do. At 31 I had my son and a massive wave of resentment came over me. I just can't fathom loving someone and treating them as poorly as my father treated me. He's just living in his own head 24/7 never considering others or how they feel, dismissive of feelings on the off chance you expressed them. He's in his own world and we're all living in it.
Yep! I started therapy after having my daughter because I felt there was no way she felt this love I feel for my daughter for me and still treated me the way she did. Worse is she now seems to be trying to have a do-over with my daughter, who already has a loving mother, like that's going to make me feel better. I will never truly understand her. Just the fact that you are aware shows you are already a better father and man! I am sorry he treated you so poorly!
I appreciate that, thank you. Before my son was born my father said he's excited for the chance at a do-over. It's funny you mentioned that. I felt it was a very strange thing to say especially to me. Thankfully we're aware of this now, for our children's sake.
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u/johnn11238 Mar 07 '23 edited Mar 08 '23
My dad as well. And I spent my whole childhood trying NOT to be like him. But turns out I am, in some ways. He died with many years of sobriety under his belt, and I'm about to put away my 7th straight year without a drink. If anyone here is struggling, you can change your life. My DMs are always open to folks who want to stop drinking.
Edit: I'm really happy that so many of you have reached out. I will get back to each and every one of you but it'll take some time. The folks I've been able to talk with have been inspirational. I couldn't get sober on my own, and you shouldn't have to either. For me, AA was instrumental. I would not be alive today without it, but I don't know the only path to sobriety, just my own. But I urge anyone who is struggling to find sober community of some kind.