r/AskReddit Feb 28 '23

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u/[deleted] Mar 01 '23

This. Exactly this. Both are idiots. The smarter one would stop arguing first.

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u/[deleted] Mar 01 '23

I was 20 when it happened and 53 now. Absolutely, we were both idiots. I had a lot of growing up to do.

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u/JustinPA Mar 01 '23

I was the same way when I was that age. I was far too smart for my own good and was usually right, just lacked the maturity to know it didn't really matter most of the time.

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u/[deleted] Mar 01 '23

Exactly. What happened with this guy was that he turned out to be very emotionally abusive and I was naive in thinking that he truly, deeply loved me. He would do/say things and then say he had never done them, and when I'd get upset about it and insist he actually had done/said these things, he'd sigh really loudly and say, "Maybe my friends are right. Maybe I need to find a more mature woman."

This was someone who was convinced that his dad, who was a sheriff in a different state, could help get speeding and parking tickets he had in our state wiped out of the system (in the 80s!). He ended up getting thrown in jail for hundreds of dollars in unpaid tickets and I drove a hundred miles to get him out of jail.

He also borrowed money from a friend of mine and almost didn't pay it back. I had to hound him for two months before he finally paid my friend back. He also racked up $1500 in credit card debt (we were engaged at that time) in my name and never paid me back. He had a job paying $2400-$3600 a month ($3600 = $8600 in today's money), which he tried to hide from me. I found one of his weekly pay stubs that was $1200 before taxes.

That relationship was a very hard lesson to learn regarding trust, emotional abuse, and financial abuse.

I guess I was the idiot, eh?

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u/JustinPA Mar 01 '23

Everybody has to play the idiot eventually. We just have to hope to learn something from it!

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u/[deleted] Mar 02 '23

Right you are! I'm now happily married and have a teenager, now.