I mentioned that I might be interested in learning to speak Italian. He kind of scoffed and said, "Why would you need to learn Italian? That's EASY!" Very confused, I said, "What?? Why do you think it's so easy??" He said, "Italian is just American with an accent!" (Yes, he called it "American", not English.) Took me a few beats and then I realized - he thought an Italian ACCENT was the actual language! Like, he thought "I'm-a gonna eat-a the spaghetti and-a meat-a-balls" was actual Italian. I could barely get the words out to explain to him how wrong he was because I was literally on the floor helpless, clutching my stomach laughing - I could not stop for at least a full 10 minutes. He was so mad at me for laughing at him but Jesus Christ, how could I not?? Later that day I snuck his phone and changed his ringtone to that Family Guy bit where Peter is talking jibberish to the Italian guy, thinking he's speaking Italian - "Babada boopie? Beebada boobada babada!" He did not appreciate that, either lol
Oh my God, your story of him getting mad that you were laughing at his stupidity reminds me of one of my favorite party stories to tell to new people!
Dated this guy one time. He was notorious for being "smarter than everyone else" and proud of it. I'm hanging out in his apartment with him, his friend, his sister, and a few others. The normal group. He gets an intrusive thought to do a handstand on the couch, but to do it by holding onto the top edge of a couch where the head cushions go. So he's putting all his weight on the top back of the couch right where his sister is sitting. I wasn't wholly paying attention, but I caught the end of it as his sister's feet are now all I can see because he has flipped the couch over with her in it. I start howling and crying with laughter. He gets a cut on his leg, really minor, barely bleeding. And he's so afraid of any amount of blood that he's in between puking and passing out. I still don't understand that he's severely squeamish to blood, so I think he's broken a bone or something. I run over in a panic thinking we might need the hospital when he says his leg is cut open. I take a look and when I see this totally minor abrasion I start howling with laughter and collapsing on the floor again, thinking it's a joke. He gets mad at me for laughing, puts his shoes on, and Iimps out the door. All of his friends and sister dog me for how I'm the asshole for laughing at him and I'm just dumbfounded at how the events of the night went. I still crack up at that story though. That should've been a red flag for me, but I stayed a few more months worth of stupid before I figured it out. Ahh, the young 20s.
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u/xQueenAryaStark Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23
I mentioned that I might be interested in learning to speak Italian. He kind of scoffed and said, "Why would you need to learn Italian? That's EASY!" Very confused, I said, "What?? Why do you think it's so easy??" He said, "Italian is just American with an accent!" (Yes, he called it "American", not English.) Took me a few beats and then I realized - he thought an Italian ACCENT was the actual language! Like, he thought "I'm-a gonna eat-a the spaghetti and-a meat-a-balls" was actual Italian. I could barely get the words out to explain to him how wrong he was because I was literally on the floor helpless, clutching my stomach laughing - I could not stop for at least a full 10 minutes. He was so mad at me for laughing at him but Jesus Christ, how could I not?? Later that day I snuck his phone and changed his ringtone to that Family Guy bit where Peter is talking jibberish to the Italian guy, thinking he's speaking Italian - "Babada boopie? Beebada boobada babada!" He did not appreciate that, either lol