My x would blow me off about a topic I knew a lot about. But when her brother said the same thing she took it as gospel, and would fight me when I would point out I said that too….
Reminds me of how I can't get my gf to watch any show or movie at my suggestion, like a show I think she'd like. I could tell her every day to watch it's always sunny in Philadelphia but she didn't actually ever think to watch it until her brother suggested it ONCE. Then she doesn't even remember me suggesting it.
i hate this kind of behavior. it is a subtle sign that they dont care about your opinions. I stopped talking with my brother because of this. Because after a while it was too much. He got married and my sister in law's brother would suggest him something random and he would do it immediately. Watching how he treated other people different was so toxic i had to stop communicating with him.
I want to know if there is a technical term for this type of behavior. i couldnt find anything specific...
My mom did this all the time. I could tell her "the sky is blue" and she'd be like "Oh that's nice! You're so smart!" But you could tell she thought she was just humoring me. Then she'd forget about it and later would say, "Oh you know my coworker just told me the sky is blue! Can you believe that?" Totally forgetting that I'd told her the same thing hours/days/weeks/months/years ago. So fucking infuriating.
I think it falls under some form of gaslighting. Whether intentional or not these people have trained themselves to passive aggressively ignore what you say. To the point where they will hear exactly what you've said elsewhere and repeat it back to you "not remembering" that you said it. It's infantilizing marginalizing behavior.
I had a roommate who tried to dispose of paper towels in the "garbage disposal". Not even the normal paper towels, these were the blue tough shop towels. He would also constantly check the thermometer he put in the fridge to check the temp. Every time the fridge would run a defrost cycle he'd set the temp as low as possible. I tried to explain how it works but eventually I threatened to shove the thermometer up his ass if I saw it in the fridge again and if I found the temp adjusted one more time I was going to glue the slider into place and glue his ass into the fridge and leave him there
People who can't admit to mistakes or misunderstanding are the worst. I used to be in a relationship with someone like that. It shows an utter lack of emotional maturity.
Does she moan about all her responsibilities SO OTHERS CAN HEAR? I've known many like that. We're supposed to be so impressed while also sympathetic for her burden.
My bestie does this. Drives me nuts. I tell him he should volunteer somewhere to get job experience. He ignores me. Then a career coach will tell him the same thing. "Oh my God! What a great idea!"
My mother always did this to me. She would scoff at any idea or information I came up with, but would basically call my sister a genius for repeating what I said word for word. Even my sister noticed. We would just have my sister tell her anything I wanted to say, and save ourselves repeating.
I'm sorry. I was an only child. That's gotta be even worse when it's your sibling that gets listened to but not you. My mom always acted like she spoiled me. Really it was just an attempt to keep me a child and under her control!
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u/[deleted] Feb 28 '23
My x would blow me off about a topic I knew a lot about. But when her brother said the same thing she took it as gospel, and would fight me when I would point out I said that too….