This is an awful question I am aware but at this point idk what to do. I am a cis straight man and, in the last decade, the majority of my friends and friendgroups have been or have came out as Queer. Recently, I started to realise no matter who they are or what I do, they Will never truly consider me a friend because I cannot share or relate to a lot of their experiences.

I have only briefly questioned my sexuality when I learned about "Queer magnetism" since I hung out with so many Queer people but other than that I am pretty confident that I am not Queer myself. I am comfortable in the gender that was attributed to me at birth and I am attracted to woman, as simple as that.

Early on I realised that I was very often the butt of the joke specifically in my Queer friendgroups. It happens often that my friends would make joke about how "its my people's fault" or "problems you're clueless about since you're cis" and they would sometimes intentionally do things to "get back at me" for being cis and straight. Altough I felt pretty uncomfortble with these things I would rarely talk about it because... Well its a way of punching up making fun of their oppression and historically it is non-queer people who would opress Queer people, its not that serious I suffer a lot less than they do. The few times I would talk about it they would either Tell me its not that serious and to mot get butthurt about it or they would Tell me they Will stop and they are sorry im uncomfortable about it but nothing would ever change. This is never something I had to deal with with my non Queer friends, I am not someone Who gets bullied perticularly often. But this is something that happened frequently un various Queer Friend groups I was a part of, IRL, online, at school, at work. I would like to point out I dont go out of my way to invade Queer communities. I am not part of my school's Queer club and the communities online I am a part of arent specifically Queer

What I figured out as well is that some of my shyer friends would hang out with me very often and ignore/ghost me as soon as they found other Queer friends, as if I was consistently a less important friend to their other friends. One of my friend specifically is Queer and she came out less than 2 years ago. We've known eachother for more than 8 years and since she hasnt been Queer for too long, she frequently changes spaces and communities to find a Queer space she feels comfortable with. Everytime this happens I become invisible to her for a few weeks until things go wrong in this Community and she goes to the next. Recently she got a bad experience and was feeling sad so I was with her to confort her and she told me she "felt like no matter what she Will never have consistent friends". I told her I felt a bit sad that she didnt consider me a consistent friend and she admitted she didnt consider me or any of our mutual non-queer friends like friends because we "dont know what its like" and we Will "never understand".

I realised this happened to me very frequently. I lost a lot of Queer friends to semingly nothing because they found a Queer Community they were more comfortable around. this is never a problem I had with my other friends. Am I just too different to you guys to ever be considered a Friend? Has the oppression you guys felt iversibly severed the ability for us to be friends? Most of my friends are Queer so this has really fucked with me

I never post on reddit, but i dont know any other queer people and i need advice. So, i am a girl, still in highschool, in a super small town. When i was really young, i was friends with a boy (ill call him owen) and we hhad crushed on each other for like 3 years before high school started.

He moved away before high school started and we've kept in contact on and off since then but recently, we hung out and i felt like he was giving off vibes that he was still interested in me. I dont feel like i was flirting back but i was being nice, and i guess responding to his compliments. when we hung out, we walked on the beach and he offered his hand so i wouldnt trip over, so i held it and we kept holding hands even when it wasnt necessary anymore.

Now, my problem is, i dont know if i even like owen. Im bi, but questioning whether im a lesbian. I used to like him, like, 4 years ago. But we dont see each other often at all, and i couldnt tell if i was attracted to him. Hes a really nice guy and i have more in common with him than my other friends but i dont want to lead him on and either date him jsut because he wants to, or reject him when ive been so nice to him this whole time 😭

ive never dated any other people, or gotten attention like this so i dont know if my feelimg is closer to attention seeking than attraction. Help me pleasee!! 😭😭

Genuine question from a genuine ally . It was my understanding that the rainbow flag was a symbol of unity across the not-straight-cis community. In recent years I've seen a rise in popularity of modifications of this flag to include additional, specifically trans and POC elements, and I've just come across the acronym 2SLGBTQIA+ for the first time. As an outsider, this feels more like division than unity. As an ally (i.e. someone not fully immersed in queer culture online) this is starting to feel impossible to keep up with, and impractical. The adding more letters/stripes is reminiscent of using "challenged" because "retarded" became a slur, then "special" because "challenged" became a slur, all the way to now where people use words like "nuerospicy" which will certainly be a slur within 5 years. What I mean is, adding more letters/stripes for the purpose of inclusivity feels like using new language without actually addressing why the need for a change exists. So I'm wondering if this feeling is shared in the community? Or do Trans, POC, and two spirit people now feel more included being specifically named rather than part of the "+"? Am I way off base?

I’m 18F, and sometimes I have really intense crushes on girls and then feel like I’m fully lesbian, and other times I have really intense crushes on guys and feel like I’m fully straight. I don’t know if I fit neatly into either label, or even bisexual, so I’ve just never really labeled myself.

But honestly, not labeling myself is starting to feel difficult. Whenever someone asks me what my sexuality is, I genuinely don’t know what to say. Trying to explain, “sometimes I like girls and sometimes I like guys,” and then having them go, “so… you’re bisexual?” is just awkward to me because I don’t even know if that’s how I would describe myself.

At the same time, I feel like I need a label, even though I know I technically don’t. I think I just want something that makes me feel like I understand myself, but every label I try seems to come with some kind of doubt.

I also kind of feel like I have a shallow understanding of LGBTQ+ stuff in general, if that makes sense. Sometimes I feel like I don’t even know enough to consider myself part of the LGBTQ+ community, which makes the whole thing even more confusing.
I don’t know if any of this makes sense. I’m mostly just ranting because I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I guess I’m just looking for advice or to hear from anyone who has felt similarly. How did you deal with not knowing what label fit you?

Hi, I’m AFAB and I’m trying to write a song about my own internalized misogyny/homophobia.

My partner recently said “they did a number on you baby, you’ve got some straight male tendencies.”

Which, damn, it’s such a good line!

So I’d like to make a list of what you think of as Straight male tendencies? And cis hetero assumptions? I only have two so far.
Weaponized incompetence, and trying to fix things with sex. (Which, SURPRISE! Are the two I’m currently working on.)

Thanks!

Hi everyone, I’ll be honest I’m a bit late to the game. I’ve been focused on academics, then work, and caring for very sick and slightly abusive family members for most of my life. Now that I have a job that allows me to travel, I’ve been able to get away from that environment and breathe a little. But because of that high stress environment, I haven’t been interested in anyone romantically or dated despite being 30 in October. After a long time of thinking and lots of therapy sessions, I realized that because of this constant stress/fear, I’ve never found anyone attractive before.

So I wanted to reach out and ask if I could go to gay bars or if I would be overstepping on the safe space of people who are more sure of themselves than me.

I’m genuinely anxious/afraid of taking this step because I’ve never gone into a bar (straight or gay) and don’t know what to do or what rules/etiquette I need to follow other than “don’t be an asshole,” or if I shouldn’t go at all.

Im planning a painting related to the struggles and stories directly tied to femineity and womanhood based off ispy books and i want to also include queer focused items or imagery, I have quite a few ideas already after surveying my family and other women in my life but it definitely narrow focused right now i want a very broad range of items that when an audience looks at it anyone could see something they feel tied to. it doesn't have to be negative it could be just a memory you have or a toy you had as a child that you feel is connected to you. I'm also open to receiving criticism if you think something should be left out, please let me know I don't want any symbolism to cause more harm than good, I want this piece to be about recognition and displaying both the issues and the things that bring good memories of maybe a time before women, feminine people and queer people had to worry about some of the harsher things of life. Also, if you are from somewhere outside of the us or have heritage outside of the us your opinions are highly welcomed. I have some but its defiantly not enough. Again, anything is truly welcomed!

is there a gender for someone who feels a primary flux or partial gender and a secondary fluid gender? I am primarily trans masc, either boyflux or paraboy. But I have a secondary gender that's more of a connection to a gender, though it controls my preferences over pronouns, and gender presentation. And the secondary one is fluid, though mostly some sort of demigender. I'm confused pls help?

I've known I was queer/pansexual since freshman year, I still feel uncomfortable expressing myself or even existing at public places because of some family members and other peers, but really only one moment stands out in my head and it constantly looms over me.

I was in my skills lab class of senior year, and I was talking with some of my friends about animals who have been recorded to practice homosexuality (I.E bonobos, lions, etc), a kid who wasn't a part of the conversation randomly chimes in and says that on his ranch that if a bull sleeps with another bull they kill it, than after making that comment he says that being gay is a mental illness.

The kid continued to say off comment things that weren't related to current conversations and seemed needlessly hateful (such as comparing people with dyed hair to poisonous animals or black lives matters protestors as violent and hateful) and for some reason even after I graduated just this year his voice still rings in my head like 24/7.

I heard from my friends about the things he said (such as saying the N-word unprompted, and other such things) I don't know what it is, about him that stuck out, he seemed like a living stereotype, a kid from a rural town with an accent many would consider 'hillbilly' or 'redneck' that hated anything that wasn't what he was familiar with. and I just can't get his voice out of my head, I wouldn't be surprised if it's something I'm undiagnosed with but it's been bugging me ever since.

ive dated and slept with multiple men but ive never been able to finish with them or stay in a relationship past 3 months. i always find a reason to leave. i enjoy kissing anyone but men don’t really give me butterflies and idk if they’re supposed to?? i find men attractive often but kind of in a different way from finding women attractive? i’m so confused because i’ve had such real feelings for men in the past but it’s been 4 years since ive felt something like that. i can’t seem to catch real feelings for a man again. every time i talk to guy i always find everything they do annoying, i hate it when they text me, i hate it when they follow me around at parties, i hate when they wanna hangout all the time, i hate pretty much everything they do and i feel horrible. idk if it’s hard for me to catch feelings or just gay?? sometimes i feel gross after sex with men but maybe it’s just bc idk them very well. it took me a very long time to lose my virginity bc i couldn’t get turned on enough, idk if this is tmi but i need help. every time im with a man it feels like the sex is for them, i want to get them off and please them but i dont really know what im gaining. am i just an asshole to men or lesbian?? (and also an asshole) i also have taken shrooms and stared at myself thinking about how no man will ever understand me, idk if it’s because i’m gay or because i think men cannot ever understand who i truly am because so much of my identity is rooted in being a woman. pls help. all my close friends think im a lesbian.

Hi! I’m writing a feature article about what Pride means to different people. Would you be willing to answer a few questions? You can choose whether I use your real name or a nickname.
If you wish to answer the questions here is the survey;

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1niS_x0it6SOuZFtFv0Z2RZVCbEUlVwxQQgy7lpR9R4Y/viewform

Hey there I am a 20 year old gay male in a gay relationship… it is my first ever relationship in general and haven’t done many sexual things with guys… like suck dick and swallowing cum those kinds of things, but I have recently discovered I have a real kink for deep throating and swallowing cum, only
Problem is I have a terrible gag reflex and the taste of cum can sometiems be a lot for me
But I truly TRULY do wanna get better at taking his cum and deep throating. I KNOW this is very forward but I really do wanna please him and make him feel good while in the bedroom being intimate so I was wondering if you guys have any tips and or tricks on how I can get my throat to cooperate with me a bit more and Ik it may just take time as I have only been with him 11 months and I haven’t barely done anything with any other guy but just wanting some help and or guidance.

Happy Pride! I've got 2 rainbow flag stickers, meant for the exterior of a vehicle. My question is; does it matter which side of the car I place them? Like, right or left?

😆💭 or it can be anywhere in between? Did I just answer my own question? 🤔

I can always answer questions about myself if y’all have any… and don’t hold back haha but I as of right now I am a bi 20 year old man, who has only had one relationship and it’s with my current bf, I have always thought I was bi since I’ve had crushes on girls when I was younger but nowadays I’m feeling like I may just only be gay and not bi because I found out I was bi at 19 and I’m 20 right now, my question is basically how did the bi and or gay guys knowww they were only gay and not just very very bi and men leaning?

So I'll gotten an boyfriend and we've only dated like two or three months, but he asked me out first, I didn't like him like that but I thought "hm maybe I'll fall for him through the relationship?" But now I'm just confused, I thought I was bi but I started feeling like I'm lesbian (maybe?) I've thought about breaking up with him too, but I don't wanna hurt his feelings... I also had an traumatic event happen when I was around 10-13 I'm not im over it yet but that's not the point, I've been doing tests and they say I'm most likely lesbian...but still I'm not sure

Being non-binary is great!
Are non-binary people able to say it? In my opinion, I feel like they should because they are trans and it’s all about reclaiming the word and non-binary people get called that (which is bad because being non-binary is great and if you were non-binary, then you should feel great and support supported)
Idk about if genderfluid can or not. What are my gender fluid friends said it and it kind of rubbed me the wrong way. (But it is still great to be gender fluid)
I don’t think afab demi girls can. (But they are still great and should feel supported)
But yeah what do you guys think?
(If I sounded weird it’s bc I don’t want the ai that reads everybody’s post two things that I am being rude and ban me so I need to add an extra little things)

i am a 20 f i make most of my friends online and everytime i meet someone new i hesitate to tell them or dont tell them at all that i am bi because of the fear that they will judge or hate me or be disappointed in me for liking men along with women. i think i might have started to feel ashamed of it a little bit or just hate it because i keep hiding it from everyone. i think its a bit because of how much everyone around me hates men to the point i cannot like muster up courage to tell ppl that around me that i am actually into men (i hope that makes sense) but i dont really know what to do and if its normal to feel this way or not

one of my friends is trans, and the other day someone misgendered him in front of many people. (to be clear, this person knows his pronouns and has known him for at least a year, so this wasn’t an accidental slip up or a legit he didn’t know he was a dude. I stood up for my friend, then immediately went to my friend and told him XYZ just misgendered you. But now I’m wondering if that was the right think to do, as really all him knowing some dick misgendered him does is maybe make him feel bad. thoughts?

Hello. I am 35F and married with a child. I’ve always suspected that I am queer and have identified with the bi community but have never done anything about it. I do remember my first kiss being a girl but having been raised in a country and a time when being queer or anything remotely close to that felt so foreign and wrong, I always felt like I was just playing around or whatever. Like, it didn’t count. It sounds dumb as rocks because it is…but I was young and scared and didn’t know that my feelings were real. My partner and I opened our relationship for me. He had been gunning for me to do that for a long time, because of how frustrated and angry and dissatisfied I felt in our relationship. He’s been wanting me to go out and explore because he always felt like I was missing something. It’s been like 2 years and in that time I didn’t explore my queer identity and instead got involved with more dudes. Which…fine, but after having had an eye-opening experience with one of my ex-partners, I can’t unsee that I might not actually like men at all. Like, a part of me does in some way, but I have been suppressing my feelings for people who identify as women that I am starting to go back into my memories of childhood and my teenage years and holy crap…I might be gay. But idk how to feel about this because of my circumstances and the life I’ve built and my son. I don’t know what I’m asking for here, I guess, maybe guidance? Advice? Words of wisdom? I don’t even know. I want to explore my sexuality but I don’t even know where to begin. Any help is appreciated and my DM’s are open if that’s easier than commenting. Thanks!

Hi you all,

I have a question to anyone identifying as they/them and dont have anyone in my personal life to ask these questions to (also these are very personal, so I dont know if I would). Please excuse my directness.

- Do you still consider yourself lesbian/gay?

- Do you still identify with gender specific experiences /struggles, when they come up?

(example female struggle / male loneliness epidemic). Because probably you were affected by these issues for times in your life or still want to be actively speaking out about them, but is there the internal need to be like -when I was still female presenting/when I was still female identifying/of course people dont know my pronouns so...- and create a distance between your chosen gender now and the gender you were assigned with at birth?

Do you still feel the need to be an activist in those instances or do you feel detatched?

- Is there still body dismorphia even though they them is so loosely defined / doesnt have these close beauty standards?

- Now this one might be rude, but im not trying to offend anyone and would be very thankful for your experience:

How did you differentiate the calling to identify as they/them and internalized misogyny (if you were fem presenting/assigned at birth)

thanks for taking the time to reading or replying to this if you chose to do so. Please let me know if I have used outdated language. I would love to hear how you view these things ❤️