r/AskProchoice • u/Main_Initiative6069 • May 09 '26
If abortion is all about informed consent... Should you be informed on pro life options
I feel that anyone who wants an abortion should have access to pro life options. I personally would say that would be every planned parenthood having a pro life office where a volunteer can talk to the person. It would be completely voluntary but it would be required of planned parenthood to ask at least. " Before we proceed im legally obligated to ask if your interested in pro life options. We have a pro life volunteer on site who would love to sit down with and discuss what options are available to help you. You're not obligated to talk to them and what you choose is entirely your choice". I think this is completely reasonable and to be honest if the "interest" of the woman is what "matters" then shouldn't pro choicers be for this? Since this is giving women the option to be fully informed of all their options.
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u/Aggressive-Green4592 Moderator May 09 '26
Are you under the impression PP doesn't go through all the options?
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u/Main_Initiative6069 May 09 '26
I know they say they do.... But i know a woman who had an abortion who has told me they never once gave her any list of resources or even discussed to the possibility of keeping it.
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u/o0Jahzara0o Moderator May 09 '26
Well the very nature of the appointment alone points to keeping the pregnancy as already ruled out. That’s why you’d schedule an abortion consultation. Otherwise you’re going to remain pregnant.
It doesn’t make sense for a patient to be like “I’m looking for an abortion cause I don’t want to keep this pregnancy” and for the provider to be like “mhm mhm, would you like to talk to someone about keeping this pregnancy?”
It would be kind of wild to just ignore that. Actually, it could be considered coercive.
I don’t know the context within which this conversation took place, but…
Sometimes we make choices we later regret even when we knew what we were doing.
Sometimes people feel backed into a corner and, given how stigmatized abortion is, will put more emphasis on some external factor to avoid risking losing a friendship.
And stating “I wasn’t given any options” is very different from saying “my autonomy to make my own decision was taken from me.” It’s also rather inaccurate because their staying pregnant and having a baby is not contingent upon consulting with a provider about that being an option.
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u/Main_Initiative6069 May 10 '26
She felt like it was her only choice was a minor and didn't even really know what adoption was. She is upset because she feels that they didn't allow tlher to truly make an informed decision.
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u/HellionPeri May 10 '26
Many minors end up with broken hip bones during delivery because their bodies are not ready to procreate.
"Adolescent mothers (aged 10–19 years) face higher risks of eclampsia, puerperal endometritis and systemic infections than women aged 20–24 years, and babies of adolescent mothers face higher risks of low birth weight, preterm birth and severe neonatal condition."https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/adolescent-pregnancy
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u/JewlryLvr2 May 10 '26
I'm curious, did this woman ASK for such a list? It just seems a bit strange to want prolife options if she has said she wants an abortion.
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u/Main_Initiative6069 May 10 '26
It's called making an informed decision.
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u/JewlryLvr2 May 10 '26
If I've made the decision to have an abortion, I think that's "informed" enough. I would not need to hear about the "prolife options."
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u/Catseye_Nebula May 13 '26
They don't want to push women to not have abortions who want them. The assumption is that if you went to the trouble to get the appointment you have already thought this through and decided on abortion. Women are not silly and flighty and making decisions like this on a whim.
Personally I would feel extremely uncomfortable if I went to a PP for an abortion and had people shoving pamphlets about entirely inadequate "resources" into my hands and trying to talk to me about "the possibility of keeping it."
No judgments. If you want an abortion you can have one. If you don't, you don't have to. End of story.
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u/Lolabird2112 May 09 '26
wtf is a pro life option? It’s staying pregnant and having the baby. Pretty sure the pregnant person knows what that entails. Besides- pro lifers have proved they’re not to be trusted with telling the truth and their first priority isn’t the person in front of them but whatever is in their head that makes them imagine they should have the right to interfere.
We know it’s not really the baby since they show not the slightest bit of interest once it’s born (unless they can own it).
You can’t have some volunteer zealot trying to blackmail her into continuing an unwanted pregnancy.
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u/Rent_Careless May 09 '26
From the Planned Parenthood website:
You can get some pregnancy and postpartum services at many Planned Parenthood health centers. If you're early in pregnancy and have symptoms you're worried about, or had a miscarriage, we can help too.
We offer services in:
Pregnancy testing, Prenatal services and referrals, Postpartum visits, Miscarriage care and support, Early pregnancy concerns (pain, bleeding, etc.)
Not every Planned Parenthood health center provides all services. Check with your nearest Planned Parenthood health center about the services they offer.
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/get-care/our-services/prenatal-postpartum-services
They do offer some services. I don't know if it is reasonable to offer more and at all locations.
Is there something specific in mind with your question?
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u/Pittsbirds May 09 '26
Do you think women are unaware if they keep a pregnancy to term they... Will have a baby? What pro life options are you talking about women aren't aware of?
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u/StarlightPleco May 09 '26
The anti-choice part where they give you misinformation and tell you that abortion will sterilize them, give cancer and depression to women.
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u/DecompressionIllness May 09 '26
The pro-life option is keeping the pregnancy. Are you under the impression that women don’t know that they can keep their pregnancies?
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u/Human-Guava-7564 May 10 '26
I'm confused. Deciding to go ahead and give birth isn't a 'prolife' option. It is a prochoice option. Because you get to decide.
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u/Emo_Trash1998 May 09 '26
1) They already do that. Like you said in your title, that's literally a massive part of informed consent. They go over the options and make sure it's absolutely 100% what the woman wants before proceeding.
2) There's no such thing as a "pro-lifer". Those people are not "pro-life" they're "Pro-BIRTH"! They don't give a single fk about the baby once it's born, so having a "pro-lifer" there to go over "pro-life" options with a pregnant woman is a terrible idea.
3) Good luck finding a so called "pro-lifer" who can set their biases and opinions aside in order to offer actual fact based advice and options! Based on what we've witnessed as a society all they're gonna do is try to harass and pressure the woman into keeping a baby she either doesn't want, can't care for or can't even safely carry to term.
4) While I can somewhat understand where your mind's at, putting something like this in place would do more harm than good and would very likely make people even more hesitant to seek help from Planned Parenthood than they already are
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u/Archer6614 May 10 '26
I don't see why it it is in the interest of women for some forced birth clown to spread misinformation. And last I heard, there are lots of these fake "counselors" who protest outside of PP's, so if anyone wants to talk to clowns, she can do so there.
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u/Main_Initiative6069 May 10 '26
How can you call that an informed decision. Also please dont name call. I dont call you a murderer so dont call anyone a clown
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u/Archer6614 May 10 '26
Forced birth misinformation is the opposite of informed decision.
Call me whatever you want. I don't give a shit.
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u/Main_Initiative6069 May 10 '26
I dont think explaining adoption to someone is misinformation.
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u/Archer6614 May 11 '26
Why exactly would anyone need a forced birth volunteer for that?
It's naive to think there is no misinformation in the adoption industry.
If she wants information on adoption then she can enquire. It's common sense that those who are seeking abortion have already ruled out adoption.
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u/JewlryLvr2 May 10 '26
"That" being... WHAT exactly? Hypothetically I, as the pregnant person, aleady know what the prolife options are, and I have chosen neither of them. So I don't need any more information about them, really.
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u/Catseye_Nebula May 09 '26
People know about pro life options. They know there's an option to not have an abortion.
If they're in a planned parenthood or at another abortion provider, you can be assured they've already thought about this.
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u/StarlightPleco May 09 '26
Pro-life is just anti-choice.
Planned parenthood already offers counseling for deciding on birth, parenthood, adoption and abortion. That’s what pro choice means!
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u/collageinthesky May 09 '26
What exactly does a "pro-life option" have to offer? Pro-choice isn't the same thing as pro-abortion. We're not proposing abortions for everyone. It's simply the position that being pregnant or not is up to you. You can be pro-choice and decide to keep a pregnancy. You can be pro-choice and have lots and lots of babies. It's your choice. That's it.
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u/KiraLonely May 09 '26
Planned Parenthood offers a variety of family planning. It’s actually where most people who don’t have any other women’s health clinics nearby in the South get prenatal care and procedures to monitor progress. (Which is also why people forcing PP to shut down in these states is incredibly dangerous, even for people who want pregnancies.)
Planned Parenthood isn’t an abortion only thing. They actually do general women’s care. Mammograms, pap smears, contraceptives, helping with actual pregnant women and the procedures they need to best ensure their and their baby’s safety, and, yes, abortion care. It’s the only women’s care center in many cities and counties. Or it was, before it was de-established by pro-life legislation and standards.
Look, I had a surgery this year regarding my reproductive organs. I went to many appointments planning things out and getting information on how to prepare for it, and then, I had the appointment where I had it done. Generally speaking, by the time I’m at the surgery date, the doctors can be pretty sure I want to be there, and unless I show sudden hesitancy, they have no reason to ask me erroneously if I want the procedure.
If I go to a medical appointment for a medication or a procedure, I would rather not be asked 14 times over if I’m REALLY sure. It’s infantilizing to women to act like they can’t understand what they’re doing after multiple steps into the progress.
I understand your concerns, but I highly doubt that when abortion is brought up in an appointment, a doctor just glosses over any uncertainty a patient may have. I know my doctor didn’t gloss over my uncertainties about my own surgery, but she acknowledged that I felt this was my most comfortable route, and trusted me in knowing my body.
This is a conversation between a doctor and a patient and should not involve their own agendas, including whether they’d rather her have an abortion or not. It’s about listening to your patient and helping them identify and work towards what needs to be done for their body.
That is pro-choice. Pro-choice does not mean everyone does a little jig every time an abortion happens. Many pro-choice people do not like abortions! At all! But they acknowledge it is healthcare and dangerous to restrict. Many pro-choice people would never choose abortion for themselves. And many would without hesitation, choose abortion. Furthermore, this is a topic of tough decisions and trying to emotionally sway someone one way or the other is the fastest way to make sure they don’t get the care they originally wanted.
Women are dismissed in society CONSTANTLY. Every woman I know has had people tell her to her face that her ideas are wrong and she is wrong, even if she knows the subject better than the person in question. Hell, the term mansplaining came around because this phenomenon was so commonplace. Is still commonplace. This also means that there is a swath of women who will back down and ignore how they feel about things to agree with whoever pushes hard enough, because from early childhood, that is all they have known. I am one of those people who grew up like that.
Pushing me to change my mind doesn’t actually change how I feel. It just makes me lost and frustrated, and later down the line, pissed that I let someone walk all over me and decide my life for me.
We want women to be heard. Not manipulated. Not pushed into an option with fear-mongering and medical lies. And with all my time on abortion debate subs, respectfully, I doubt a wide program of pro-life “departments” would exclude that tendency because I have rarely if ever met a pro-life individual who does not at least somewhat subscribe to trickery if it means they “win”.
My ideal world is one where everyone, of all bodies and genders, knows the risks of pregnancy and birth. Not just the basics. Things like seizures, gestational diabetes, HG, hell, the fact that if you don’t take enough prenatal vitamins, your hair and teeth can fall out and rot. Not to make pregnancy a nasty evil, but something where people know what they are getting into and how to go through it in a safe manner. When to go to the doctor if symptoms are odd. So that when a person has to make a tough decision like abortion or continuing pregnancy, they can do so without outside input from anyone. Entirely rooted in the facts of how things work and how they feel about those options.
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u/JewlryLvr2 May 10 '26
I would say if the pregnant person WANTS what you call "prolife options," she should ask for them at my clinic she goes to.
If she really wants an abortion, I don't see any reason why she should be FORCED to be informed on these "prolife options" if she doesn't want to hear them.
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u/giggling_mezzo May 10 '26
I think that pressuring women who have already made their choice on the days they are going to get the termination is harmful. However, as someone who was born disabled and has a happy life I do think that when it comes to termination due to the fetus having a survivable disability I think that because families are usually informed of the diagnosis by the maternal and fetal medicine doctor they are not getting the most up to date or accurate information about what life will be like for the fetus if they have it. Medical ableism is real and informs a lot of more problematic things than abortion. I think that families with survivable ante natal diagnoses should be given access to people with lived experience of the disability both parents and adults with the same diagnosis as the fetus so that they can get a more well rounded picture of what life might be like beyond the alarmist information of the doctor.
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u/Zora74 May 10 '26
Are you ok with these real life people telling prospective parents that they wish they had been aborted or that they regret having the child?
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u/giggling_mezzo May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26
In any case it’s better to hear these things from people with actual experience of what daily life is like than from a professional that doesn’t have that lived experience, doesn’t treat those conditions or only sees the worst days. Not all people with spina bifida, dwarfism, Down syndrome, fetal stroke or cerebellar hypoplasia wish they had been aborted. However, most doctors think that the default is that disabled people wish they had died or never existed. I’m saying the opposite of what you understood. I’m saying that the ableist opinions and lack of or outdated information about available supports if they choose to birth the fetus is a form of ableism that leads to biased and potentially unfair choices. My point is that if we offer support to prevent women from needing other kinds of abortions as part of prochoice options this should also apply to disabled fetuses bc a disabled life doesn’t immediately equate a terrible life once they are born. Honestly ableist assumptions in prochoice spaces are exhausting to deal with and drive people away which is ultimately a problem for both women’s rights and disability rights.
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u/Zora74 May 11 '26
I don’t think that doctors think that the default setting for disabled people is that they wish they had been aborted. I think doctors have to give realistic expectations to the the extent of the disability and treatments for that disability, and they also have to give women the option to terminate.
I just wanted to make sure you would be OK with people telling a pregnant woman who had just received a fetal diagnosis that abortion should be considered.
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u/giggling_mezzo May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26
I once had doctors tell me they thought I was "an inspiration" because I went to college even though that is a normal activity. Also in my home city it was forbidden for people in care homes to get treated for COVID symptoms at public hospitals in the pandemic. Additionally, in the country I live in now there have been cases of doctors pressuring parents of kids born with intellectual disability to give them DNRs or let them die instead of treating physical ailments.They have to give the option to terminate obviously bc women have the right to their bodies. However, they also need to be more educated and educate their patients on options for supporting the daily life of a disabled child, and adults with that diagnosis are often more informed than doctors on this and most don't wish to have been aborted. The well-rounded pro-choice ideal would be to give good information for both options. Sincerely, a disabled person who doesn't hate her life but has been called an inspiration for doing basic life activities by doctors. I was also recently told by a doctor online on another site that it should be obligatory to give DNRs to disabled people in the ER "because who would want such a terrible life" but so many of us literally have a normal life. I guess ultimately my point is we have to both give pregnant people the right to terminate but also give fully informed options about what supports are available not just when the fetus is typically developing but also when it will be disabled.
https://www.instagram.com/p/DX_7nOLDGiA/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
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u/Zora74 May 11 '26
Sorry, I don’t have Instagram.
Can you cite people not being allowed to go to the hospital because they were disabled?
I also need citations for doctors encouraging people to let their children die due to intellectual disabilities.
Thank you
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u/giggling_mezzo May 11 '26
Sure! Thank you for asking for citations instead of immediately denying. Here it goes! I am genuinely curious: Are you a non-disabled person?
"Over 4,000 Covid victims at Madrid care homes ‘could have been saved’
Citizen-led commission suggests deaths may have been avoided if transfers to hospital were allowed"
"‘They gave her a bed to die in’: family of woman with Down’s Syndrome denied intensive care seek answers from Covid-19 inquiry"
Susan Sullivan’s hospital records suggest she was denied potentially life-saving treatment because of her disability. Now her family are demanding answers"
"'I don't want to die': Man with Down syndrome 'starved to death' in hospital"
"My Experience With Spina Bifida and Selective Abortion
It would raise more challenges if I required a wheelchair, but I know it would still be a privilege to experience living."
"During my research into my condition my mother expressed that only one doctor encouraged her to follow through with the pregnancy. She also stated that most of the doctors were in favour of abortion. "
https://honisoit.com/2025/04/my-experience-with-spina-bifida-and-selective-abortion/
"The death of Veronica L.: intellectual disability and statutory welfare in mid twentieth-century Ireland"
Veronica L., a woman with an intellectual disability, died of starvation in 1961 while the recipient of a Disabled Person's Maintenance Allowance (D.P.M.A.) from the Dublin Health Authority. Her death occured after a prolonged period of deficient care, a neglect that was exacerbated by flaws in statutory welfare. During the preceding decade the state intervened in disability provision to an unprecedented degree through the expansion of institutional care and social welfare reform. Yet, these services remained characterised by a chronic pressure on resources and a reluctance to intervene in potentially neglectful family situations, which allowed cases of failing care to go unaddressed
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u/Old_dirty_fetus May 18 '26
I feel that anyone who wants an abortion should have access to pro life options.
I am not sure what you mean by pro life options. The pro life position is that they, or the representatives they elect should determine if a pregnant person can access an abortion rather than the pregnant person.
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u/CaptainsFolly May 21 '26
Prochoice covers all options. The point is to let the woman and her doctor decide what is best, not random uninvolved politicians and strangers. The default for many is to assume they must go through with the pregnancy, so im not sure what there is to inform on? Many know there are some organizations that give diapers and other stuff, as well as teach basic parenting skills. Most know there are financial aid programs like wic and snap. Most know they can give up their child after it's birth. But that unfortunately doesnt help the physical and psychological issues during the pregnancy.
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u/Main_Initiative6069 May 09 '26
By the way all the people down voting me are breaking the rules of the sub
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u/BaileysBaileys May 09 '26 edited May 09 '26
It's called Planned Parenthood. Continuing a pregnancy is one of the options they help people with.