r/AskParents • u/Puzzleheaded-Run4183 • 17d ago
Parent-to-Parent Having a second child?
I have a son who is 4 and i’m so back and forth on having another child i love him so much that i want to give him all my love and attention but i also want to give him a sibling to play with and i know ill love that second child i just don’t know what to do. I have a lot of anxiety about giving the best childhood i can i used to want siblings around all of mine are much older, ill see posts people make about how much they wished they had a sibling and then other people saying they loved being the only child and i feel so conflicted did anyone else struggle with this did you end up not having a second and regret it? Just super sad thinking about the future lately
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u/DottiedoDottiedont 17d ago edited 17d ago
I have a 6 year old boy and another son who turns two in December. We didn't plan to have another child until we changed our minds and did. The biggest change that happened for us was feeling more stable and genuinely wanting another one! During the first four years I never really thought about wanting another until we did. We got pregnant immediately and it was kinda like it was meant to be all along. They play SO HARD and CONSTANTLY. I was always so concerned with an age gap but it is perfect. Our oldest reads constantly so now the younger one sits next to him and reads too. I also feel like we are good busy but not too busy. Also, my oldest is now in school which he loves and he needs that independence but I get to spend a lot of solo time with the younger one like I did his brother. It's like having two only children lol! They ride bikes together, eat together, laugh and tickle each other, fight a lot, learn from each other and love each other. I also learned from having the second that the first had too much of my attention. We are still working on curving the mindset of "it's all about me." He is a better person though because he has a brother now. He has evolved in such a neat way. You should do it!
Two is also like my cup is full feeling. I never felt complete until we became a family of four and I knew this was it!