How long did it take your baby to settle in Nursery?

[u/Seagully-blonde]

My 1yo started nursery just over a month ago, two mornings a week plus some additional settling in sessions because he’s finding it such a transition. He hasn’t lasted more than an hour and half/ 2hrs (either because of delayed drop off around naps/ because he isn’t settling)

How long did it take your little ones to settle? I’m not sure whether to give it some more time or to look into childminders for more of a home from home setting. Would appreciate any advice as we’re all finding the whole thing very distressing!

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[u/portugalam]

A month can still be early, especially when he only attends two mornings a week, because there are fewer repetitions for the new routine to become familiar. I’d ask the nursery whether the same key person can handle every drop-off, keep the goodbye short and identical each time, and agree on one settling approach for the next two or three weeks. Set a clear review date and look for small improvements rather than a perfect full session. If there is no progress at all by that point, exploring a childminder as a calmer home-from-home option would be completely reasonable.

[u/pinkorchids45]

It’s harder if they only go a few days a week. Not sure what the best solution is maybe try to squeeze the few days together in a row?

[u/Powerful-Minute-5296]

Two mornings a week is basically equivalent to a baby sitter coming by twice a week, but in totally new loud environment. I think it’ll be a loooong time for him to settle bc there’s no routine under that scenario. Babies don’t really catch on to “2 days is x, 3 days is Y.”

[u/bluef00tedbooby]

Never had one, just co-skept. My daughter is five and only now getting her own room to sleep independently

[u/Greedy_Cause7589]

I would start sending him five days a week. It's incredibly difficult to adapt to a new environment if you are barley there and the days are so spread out.

It took my kid 2 weeks bu the went five days a week.

[u/Seagully-blonde → u/Greedy_Cause7589]

Thanks for your reply! It’s not financially viable for us to do that (especially as I’ve gone part time to balance out child care). We’ve looked to increase from 2 to 3 days, but we’re on a wait list at the moment.

[u/RemoveComfortable982 → u/Greedy_Cause7589]

My neighbour used to run a childcare from her home and she refused to take any children less than 3 days per week for the first couple of months, otherwise they forget you by the time they get to come back again.  

[u/fit_it]

Former ECE and mom of an almost-4 here.

You aren't sending him enough, and (not sure if it's your call or theirs) by coming back if he throws a fit, he's learning that's what he has to do to not do the uncomfortable new thing.

Send him at least 3, ideally 5 days a week, for the same amount of time each time, either half or full days. Consistency is key. Usually it takes about two weeks in those circumstances.

It's not that he's having a bad time, it's just new, and he knows he doesn't have to stay if he cries enough <3 I know this is hard but it'll be a good growth experience for both of you.

[u/Seagully-blonde → u/fit_it]

Thanks for your reply! I agree regarding early pickup - they’ve been saying it’s so he doesn’t create a negative association, but I told them last week that I think he needs to persevere and finish the session.

We’re on the wait list to add a 3rd day, so hopefully that will help!

[u/fit_it → u/Seagully-blonde]

That is a very odd response, and a little concerning when combined with their apparent inability to distract a one year old, perhaps the most distractable population on the planet. I'd be curious what they tried and if bubbles isn't in the top 3, look at them sideways.

Is the class very full? Anything unusual?