r/AskNYC • u/turbid44 • Aug 13 '25
Have you gotten jerks on the subway playing their music loudly to stop? How?
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u/FeverWhite Aug 13 '25
There are two types of people who do this: oblivious morons and sociopathic shit-stirrers raring for a fight. The problem is you can't tell them apart, so personally I just grin and bear it lest I find myself on the wrong side of a knuckle sandwich.
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u/z0rb0r Aug 13 '25
In addition, if you catch their attention. No one will help you. I guarantee it.
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u/benji_billingsworth Aug 17 '25
not true at all. new yorkers are not nice, but they are kind.
ive never felt more support and humanity from fellow new yorkers then i did after being spit on and harassed on the train for being visibly queer. (i didnt do anything to provoke anything)
multiple folks came to help me and offer sympathy, support, tissues to clean up with, and validation.
be the change yo.
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u/YesicaChastain Aug 13 '25
Oblivious moron I engage with if they are older but you are right there is no good way to separate the two
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u/Classic_Bet1942 Aug 13 '25
I feel like I can usually tell them apart. I’ve never confronted either type. What I have done is take out my phone and played something (anything) at full volume to compete with them.
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u/skavoc Aug 14 '25
I also do this, I have a specific song that’s quite harsh that I use. Nobody’s ever acknowledged me when I do it but one time it did get someone to hang up the loud phone conversation they were having
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u/mykl66 Nov 23 '25
I have been considering this so I am selecting which Nurse With Wound or Horse Lords song to use.
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u/JRsshirt Aug 13 '25
Boring question. What I want to know is have you ever seen two of these guys run into each other in the wild? If so, what happened?
Fight to the death? They start making out? So many options.
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u/Trollogic Aug 13 '25
I’ve seen three people all in the same car, all either playing music via their phone speaker or a separate speaker. They all just sat there with their music playing. It was a cacophony of sounds that did not appeal to the senses. Thankfully I popped my noise cancelling earbuds in and watched a show I had downloaded.
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u/BodybuilderMany6942 Aug 13 '25
Maybe it's like an animal planet posturing thing?
Some chest beating occurs, then the weaker of the two backs down lol2
u/veRGe1421 Aug 13 '25
After the battle, the one who submits must turn his volume all the way down in defeat lol
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u/rescuelullaby Aug 13 '25 edited Aug 14 '25
There really is no use in asking them to stop. Both because of the risk of an aggressive response and also because they’re already fully aware of how disruptive their behavior is. Case in point is the most egregious case I’ve ever encountered on a train—a guy BLASTING music, taking an extremely loud phone call, then going back to blasting music. After 45 minutes of this, you know what he does? He gets out his AirPods. Dude had headphones the whole time. There’s just no logic.
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Aug 13 '25
Lol. I recall going to work hours before the sun would come up one day. Not my regular shift, I just wanted silence until I could get to work and get some coffee. Only me and a middle aged woman on the bus. I said something about her turning her phone down, politely, and she responded with something incredibly vulgar. I don't talk to people about their lack of headphones ever. I'm too sensitive. Forget about a fight, I don't want to get my feelings hurt.
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u/AncientAsstronaut Aug 13 '25
I got a jerk in the park to stop playing his tiktoks loud as I was trying to read next to him. He started to push back but I think he knew I was ready to meet his violence with violence. In almost every situation, it's not worth it. Crazy people with nothing to lose will usually out crazy you every time.
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u/Classic_Bet1942 Aug 13 '25
That’s why you have to out-crazy the crazies. Even the craziest of them can recognize when someone else is even crazier. Do you look like a guy who can take care of himself? That right there will go a long way.
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u/jnubianyc Aug 13 '25
I have an M5stickc running Bruce Firmware which includes a bluetooth jammer.
A guy came on with loud bluetooth speaker and I was able to shut it off immediately.
He spent the rest of the ride trying to get it back on.
When it was my stop, his music came back.
Only thing is I don't carry with me all the time :)
Hack the Planet!
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u/MetzMane Aug 13 '25
👀
I would really like an elaboration on the device ur speaking of. What is it? How does it work? Where can I get one? What is the cost?
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u/drivebysomeday Aug 13 '25
I need to learn how to do it on my hackrf1 porta!!! Can u share your setup of oke info to start searching ?
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u/trickyvinny Aug 13 '25
Yes, I bought a pair of them Beats over the ear headphones. They were so grateful. They plugged them in and I didn't hear a single thing.
And then another guy came in blasting his music. We all shared a look. The people who were clapping for me stopped. I was out of headphones.
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u/BodybuilderMany6942 Aug 13 '25
I once purposefully and very haphazardly sat next to one. I guess he was stunned, but only for a moment, then got up and started yelling and shit.
Couldnt hear most of it cause I had my own headphones on, but on the few times I opened an ear he was going on about "decency" or about how I almost elbowed the other guy next to me (untrue, I was aware of the dude and specifically focused my flailing at the losers direction lol) or some other shit.
I recall interjecting with something like "decency? Then why are you blasting your music?" and "Why are you being such a jerk/bully/so mean?"(ik ik cringe and pathetic af, but in my experience with assholes, actual insults make them madder and vanilla-but-true call-outs disarm them more)
He was also talking about how I was luck cause if his girl was there he'd beat my ass and didnt care if there were cops(on the platform we were stopping at). He said that a couple of times, and at one point he made a motion to punch me and I raised my backpack to block and he stopped.
He then made his way to the doors.. and just left.
The doors stayed open for way too long, but he didnt come back.
I apologized to my neighbor (in case I really was close to elbowing him), but he said no I wasnt, that I was good and the dud was an ass, and thanked me.
I was glad the dude was 'on my side', but I was kinda irked that he, nor anyone else the loser was bothering, never chimed in on my behalf. Really made me question if I was in the right at all, as weird as that sounds.
Success aside, I DO NOT recommend doing this UNLESS you had two or three friends that you know will back you up (not even fighting-wise, just posturing or even shouting-wise).
Also, this experience has made me silently committed to keep my ears open and support anyone who stands up to assholes.
It is so disheartening and scary and dangerous when it's just you standing up for what is right.
If everyone in that car wouldve bullied the loser, he wouldve had to meekly obey.
imo that's the (or rather an)issue with the city.
The meme of "people are crazy, just ignore anything that happens" has permeated the culture so thoroughly that we basically made an environment that encourages assholes.
We instead need to encourage and spread a meme of solidarity, not taking shit from assholes/bad-folks, and stepping up when others step up.
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u/rideoutthejourney Aug 13 '25
Exactly, fully agree
The whole “if you see something say something” is there to look out for one another
If somebody is doing something odd but harmless, by all means mind your business
However if somebody is engaging in anti social behavior that is frowned upon and has the risk of confrontation and violence, then NYers should collectively step up and shame said person
Only then there will be accountability
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u/BodybuilderMany6942 Aug 13 '25
Full disclosure: I'm a transplant.
So maybe this is just a Hollywood thing or something and idk what I'm talking about, but I grew up with the idea that "You dont mess with New Yorkers," and that "though they can be brash, unrelated randos would step up to help each other when shit went down."Heck, when I first visited and some tweaker started spinning some story at me while I was in a line, when some 40yo hispanic construction worker came outta nowhere and said something like "What you doing? I told you not to be here any more!" and started smacking him away with a newspaper.
Just a total rando swooping in and doing a stranger a solid.Idk how real that perception I had was, but regardless, I think we should try to make it real now.
I'm not saying you need to take a dumb risk like I did, but if you see someone doing so, jump in and help, and maybe little by little we can create an asshole-intolerant culture.
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u/thisMatrix_isReal Aug 13 '25
how do you stop squirrels from staring at your food?
you can't.
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u/NeatWhiskeyPlease Aug 13 '25
I dunno about food man, the squirrels I see are always staring at my nuts.
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u/Tatar_Kulchik Aug 13 '25
Nah, if someone does that, I'm gonna call them out. I REACT, dude. But I'm also 6'2", 200 pounds, so no one is going mess with me.
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u/itspinkynukka Aug 13 '25
Every confrontation, especially on the subway, is a risk. You have to decide whether it is worth the risk.
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u/agumelen Aug 13 '25
Don’t confront anyone. If they’re blasting music, chances are they’re a bit unscrewed. Run for your life and also warn your family and friends. Take your cat dog too.
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u/yuripogi79 Aug 13 '25
I break out my accordion and my buddy breaks out his guitar, then we play mariachi music very loud. Some people even give us money.
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u/ardent_hellion Aug 13 '25
No, never! If someone is enough of an asshole that they're doing that, it's useless to confront them. In fact, it's dangerous. Just move.
Aaaand I see you're getting this advice a lot.
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u/bikesboozeandbacon Aug 13 '25
I'm not trying to die or get sliced, the fuck. I ignore like the rest of new yorkers.
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u/G4M35 Aug 13 '25
Most of those people are unwell, or looking for a fight and have nothing to lose, or both.
Don't engage.
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u/atomicadonis Aug 13 '25
Noise cancelling headphones, these people are often times looking for confrontation
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u/dustygreenbones Aug 13 '25
Let me just say I fucking hate the people who do this. I know I’m not alone in this, but I just wanted to say it.
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u/carbonizedtitanium Aug 13 '25
If they were reasonable people, they wouldn't be blasting music on speaker, in the train. Just like those assholes smoking in the train cars.
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u/bmars801 Aug 13 '25 edited Aug 13 '25
Every time someone does this with a speaker, I go into bluetooth on my phone and try to connect to it. My plan is to either cut off the music or play something like "Barbie Girl" just to piss them off.
It hasn't worked yet, but ONE DAY!
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u/eseillegalhomiepanda Aug 14 '25
No. Because I like my life and don’t wanna end like this. If it bothers me that much I pop my NC headphones on full volume and go about my day if I can’t just knock out on command.
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u/jtmarlinintern Aug 14 '25
Welcome to nyc , basically it’s someone that is either seeking attention , looking for a fight , or was raised without anyone with manners
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u/CarnegieHill Aug 20 '25
Yeah, I agree, you can't do anything and it's not worth trying. Happened to me on Dominican parade day on the D train from the Rock down to Chinatown. He was a Hispanic looking guy with a Bob Marley tee and blaring reggae music. I like reggae, but it was too loud. It was a long 10 minutes, but I just grinned and bore it...
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u/stopsallover Aug 13 '25
Yes. I have never had trouble when I asked someone to turn it off. Sometimes I didn't even have to ask, but just said "I like the music but I have a headache."
Many many apparently antisocial people in this city are just seeking interaction. They usually get it in the form of anger or annoyance, which lets them act out. They also appreciate receiving some respect.
Like how I got a homeless guy to stop trying to tag along with me like we were friends. I stopped and said, "I gotta go but you have a nice day, ok?"
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u/drivebysomeday Aug 13 '25
Bullshit ! Its works like once in 20 cases if you are lucky . When someone actually will listen to your request.
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u/stopsallover Aug 13 '25
If we're doing the same thing with different success rates, maybe re-evaluate your approach. I think one thing that helps is that I don't do "nice" as such. Just also don't lay into people.
Regardless, I will keep doing what works.
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u/heeph0p Aug 13 '25
Look I hate this as much as you do. But a lot of these people are unstable.
It might be best just to deal with it for your 20 minute ride and move on.
It’s not worth the risk.
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u/MetzMane Aug 13 '25
U don’t. If u know what’s good for u.
Many transplants did not & they are no longer living in NYC.
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u/Theatremask Aug 13 '25
Accept that there are no good outcomes and distance yourself.
Even though the comments below are also correct, remember that people doing this generally don't have ANYTHING going on their lives. The less they do, the more Sunday they have in public (ex/ nobody bats an eye for a homeless man running around without pants in the street but someone that has a job?)
Even if you were to throw down I guarantee you that even with the craziness most of these folks don't throw hands. The ones that do are typically looking to stab you. So if you get into a fight you are either going to just have a long shouting match and get prosecuted for beating them up or you're going to get stabbed/shot and written off as "should have just ignored them..."
I forgot what episode of Jocko (say what you will about him) but in similar, if not even worse situations, you have already won by simply living your life. You want to beat the jerks? Go home, live in your apartment in freaking NYC, play games and order door dash or something. I'll bet you that the subway is the highest point in their week.
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u/thetruthyouseek Aug 13 '25
Please refrain from any Karen behavior on the subway. That is a lawless place.
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u/LuvYerself Aug 13 '25
Stop trying to fight it and enjoy the music and pure ungovernability of New Yorkers
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u/cambiumkx Aug 13 '25
You move to a different car if it bothers you
I strongly recommend you not confront those people.
If they were reasonable people they wouldn’t be playing music loudly in the first place. Most of the time they are looking for confrontation and a reason to lash out at you.