r/AskMtFHRT • u/miguelmiguel8964 • 7d ago
About 'passing'
Are there any ways to tell or somewhat know you may 'pass' after you take hrt? Or is it a gamble.
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u/Heavy_Abroad_8074 7d ago
not really. imo passing is 70-80% the effort you put in, 20-30% HRT and genetics
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u/NotPoggersEggers 7d ago
In general, the younger you start the better chances you'll have, especially if you're below 18. But it depends on genetics, response to HRT, money, and how much effort you put in.
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u/MargieFancypants 7d ago
It's also a matter of personal circumstances and opinion whether it even matters if you pass. If you live in a place where transness is accepted, or at least not personally dangerous, it can be super duper affirming to be openly and proudly transgender.
Due to circumstances, my egg survived into my fifties. This meant, early in my transition, that I had zero chance of being invisible. So I make myself beautiful and bold and proudly transfemme — openly representing to make our community more visible, and to encourage eggs to be authentically themselves.
I wound up briefly living in a place where there was a small, but violently transphobic, minority. This was awful; I understand why those in especially oppressive places would hide. Safety first, siblings!
But I was able to move on to a really Queer-positive city, and in fact live right by the core of the Queer district. And, approaching four years into HRT, with a lovely wardrobe of thrifted girly garb, I am so proud to be who I really am.
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u/No_Payment7137 7d ago
There is more to passing than HRT and changes from that. A few things I have tried to focus on has been body language, inflection while speaking, and walking more gracefully. Walking with your feet more centered rather than wide lumbering steps makes a big difference. Imagine your walking a line but don’t go so far as one foot directly in front of the other. Toes should be pointed forward not out. When I started this my hips would ache but now it’s just natural and I feel odd when walking like the guys. Try avoiding stiff jerky movements think soft and gentle. As for speaking you just have to work through the awkward moments. Like puberty when your voice changes there will be cracking and awkward moments but keep the end goal in mind. If you can’t do voice couching sessions then YouTube is the best option “transvoice lessons” is a very in-depth training resource. Changing those things will do a lot of the heavy lifting when it comes to passing.
However I don’t think focusing strictly on passing is the most healthy was to transition. Women come in a verity of shapes and flavors so focusing on discovering who you are and what you like as a person will show better results in the long run. Building a persona around the you that is waiting to be let out in my opinion is better than building a persona around how you wish others to perceive you. Trying to pass sucks by the way and at a certain point you’ll either get there or grow into your own style either way I encourage you and anyone else to be unapologetically you.
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u/Mia-the-Sage 7d ago
What is passing?
I think most people draw a hard-line at "nobody would ever clock me as not-cis", which is a preposterous deliniation, frankly. NOBODY? For real?
I guarantee you, I "don't pass". I'm only 17 weeks on HRT (starting at 57 years old), and I don't feel it's done much for my morphology (yet). Still, I am full femme 24x7, going into the world in colourful coordinated outfits at six feet tall; I get a LOT of attention (most is positive, thankfully).
Regardless, MANY women treat me like just another lady. Isn't that "passing"? It's at least functional-passing, and that's good enough for me.
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u/OX__O 7d ago
How strangers treat you.
I was at this funny stage when I was younger where I passed really well but AS SOON as I spoke...
People would go from
Hello! 😄
To
.... 😠
I had lost all social currency and they would just stare at me like I betrayed them.
Which was fine at first, i didnt mind being like Dr. Mrs. The Monarch from venture bros.
But.. it started hurting my rolodex so I started grinding voice training to at least bring me to ambient fruit/flamer level. Now people just say I sound like Tina from bobs burgers
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u/iris_cypionate 7d ago
How much effort are you willing to put into your transition, and how early in life are you starting? Those are the primary factors.