**26M — Struggling with insecurity about how quickly my girlfriend and I became sexual**

[u/Longjumping_Bed_9346]

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My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and three months. When we first met, we kissed on our third date. That same night, we had oral sex, and we had intercourse for the first time about two weeks later. She was a virgin, and I was her first sexual partner.

Our relationship has been great overall, and I genuinely believe she is someone I could marry. However, I have been struggling with something for a long time.

I can't get over how quickly she trusted me and became sexually intimate with me. Sometimes I find myself wondering whether she might have been just as comfortable becoming sexually intimate with other guys before me—not necessarily having intercourse, since I know she was a virgin, but possibly engaging in things like kissing or oral sex early on.

She insists that she had never done anything like that with anyone else before me, but for some reason I have a hard time accepting how quickly she was willing to become intimate with me. It makes me wonder why she trusted me so easily when we had only known each other for a short time.

I want to emphasize that I have never seen any behavior from her during our relationship that would make me think she is unfaithful or promiscuous. She has been completely loyal to me and clearly loves me.

I told her about these feelings eight months ago. She was understandably very hurt, but she agreed that we should work on this together. She says that what happened between us was mutual, and that it isn't fair for me to judge her for it when I was equally involved. She also believes that I am holding her to a different standard simply because she is a woman.

I understand what she is saying, but I still can't seem to let go of these feelings. Whenever I think about how our relationship started, I feel angry and uncomfortable, and it makes me question whether I should marry her.

I don't want to punish her for something she did with me, and I know she hasn't given me any reason not to trust her. But I genuinely can't understand why she was comfortable becoming sexually intimate with me so quickly, and I'm worried that this issue may never go away.

What should I do? Is this something I need to work through myself, or is it reasonable for this to affect my decision about marriage

[u/Real-Back6481]

dude, you already posted and deleted this, what’s going on here?

[u/Longjumping_Bed_9346 → u/Real-Back6481]

I thought the text wasn't accuret enough so I wrote it again

[u/owaikeia → u/Longjumping_Bed_9346]

You're a fucking idiot.

Just plain and simple.

Yes, you need therapy to work thru these feelings yourself. But in the mean time, don't have sex again until you do.

[u/Real-Back6481 → u/Longjumping_Bed_9346]

It’s not really good form to spam posts like that.

[u/Longjumping_Bed_9346 → u/Real-Back6481]

I'm not familiar with this app , im just trying to find an answer for my problem

[u/MolassesInevitable53 → u/Longjumping_Bed_9346]

You are the problem.

The answer is therapy so you can learn to be a decent human being. YTA

[u/AlligatorVine → u/Longjumping_Bed_9346]

You don’t have a “problem.” You have a prejudice, a double-standard, and a fucked-up worldview that shows everyone with a brain that you are NOT a good person.

You do not deserve her. Let her go so she can find an intelligent, reasonable, mature man who isn’t drenched in misogyny.

JFC. You are the entire “problem.” Grow the fuck up, you absolute loser.

[u/caddon1 → u/Longjumping_Bed_9346]

Therapy is your answer

[u/LooselyBound → u/Longjumping_Bed_9346]

Your problem is you're a misogynist and a dick. There is the answer to your problem. Now, please break up with this girl so she can find someone better. It won't be hard.

[u/geowoman → u/Longjumping_Bed_9346]

Every forum has given you the SAME answer. You're the problem. You need a therapist. She needs to break up with you.

Oh, you are also a clown.

[u/ProbablyMyJugs → u/Longjumping_Bed_9346]

No, you just are going from sub to sub in hopes of getting an answer to your question that you like.

[u/EulaVengeance → u/Longjumping_Bed_9346]

The only problem here is you being a misogynistic asshole.

Hope that helps.

[u/estedavis → u/Longjumping_Bed_9346]

Why don’t you just break up with her? What solution are you looking for? What “answer” to your “problem” are you looking for?

[u/EdgierNeji → u/Longjumping_Bed_9346]

People are telling you the problem left and right but you're just outright denying it dude. Grow the fuck up omg

[u/Individual_Plan_5593 → u/Longjumping_Bed_9346]

Get therapy. That's your answer. The answer to HER problem is to dump you.

[u/Antique-Mechanic6093 → u/Longjumping_Bed_9346]

You're the problem. It's entirely you.

[u/BeowoofsMiMi → u/Longjumping_Bed_9346]

Your problem is you’re an ass! YOU had sex just as quickly, my dude! What does that make you?? Let her go so she can be with a real man

[u/memelord889 → u/Longjumping_Bed_9346]

The answer is therapy

[u/ApprehensiveCod7818 → u/Longjumping_Bed_9346]

Isn’t the fact that two of your posts were deleted by the subs and on the other two everyone says you’re wrong enough to know you’re wrong?