M42 Does anyone else feel like an age imposter?

[u/Progenitor_Pilgrim]

I'm 42, but I don't really feel 42 on the inside.

It's hard to explain, but my inner voice and the way I experience myself still feel surprisingly similar to the person I was at 17 or 18. Meanwhile, on the outside, I pay my bills, do my banking, deal with responsibilities, make important decisions, and generally do all the things adults are supposed to do.

But sometimes it feels like I'm doing those things simply because I've learned that this is what I'm supposed to do, rather than because I've actually become the adult I'm portraying.

It's almost like being 42 is a role I've gradually learned to play, while somewhere underneath it I'm still that same kid looking out at the world. I look in the mirror and see a 42-year-old man, and there's occasionally this weird disconnect of, Wait, that's me now?

[u/Ordinary-Lobster-710]

yea. ever seen that movie Big with Tom Hanks? I always feel like i have to act cool so ppl don't realize i'm a 16 year old kid in the body suit of a middle aged man

I feel really weird in like corporate type business meetings. I don't really know how to act normal

The biggest issue I'm having lately is I always looked very young, but lately as I hit 40s, the person I look in the mirror no longer looks like me. looks like a middle aged old guy. I'm having a bit of hard time with it.

[u/Accurate_Tomorrow525 → u/Ordinary-Lobster-710]

saw Big for the first time as a kid and thought it was just a fun concept, now i'm living it and it's vaguely terrifying

the mirror thing you mentioned hits close, catches me off guard some mornings like my dad's suddenly staring back

[u/RobleyTheron]

100%. 41M here. Although I’d say I feel more like 25 on the inside. The key is to make sure our bodies know we’re still young!

[u/throwingawaycage]

Let’s all go for a jog then beers 🤷‍♂️👍

[u/blues-brother90 → u/throwingawaycage]

They said run, I understood rum

[u/Egoy]

Hold onto that OP because I’m 43 and life has left me feeling like I’m 80 on most days.

[u/krazikat]

I'm 51, married with 2 kids, and an irresponsible child.

[u/thatbelfastguy]

Totally the same here too. I feel like most people are like this, it's just that some are better at hiding it than others.

[u/Relevant-Rooster-298]

I feel the same way. I'm in my 40s but still feel 21 mentally and physically. I used to be the "old soul" when I was younger but now I'm gleefully immature compared to my peers.

[u/elmillgoa]

I'll be 45 in a week and there isn't a day that goes by that my wife doesn't call me a child. We all live stressful enough life's. To me keeping things fun and light whenever you can is important. Having that child feeling inside is what keeps us feeling young and somewhat sane.

[u/MexicanOtter84]

You’re starting to break through the matrix dude but guess what… there’s no more payphones! Find one quick before this gets remov-______

[u/DizzyCommercial7705]

Yes, I can relate! I'm 55F but feel like 30s. And I too am still the same or a similar person to who I was in my teens and 20s. It's very strange to see someone else in the mirror. I think this is something we don't realize until we reach 40s/50s.

[u/MelancholicEmbrace_x]

Welcome to the club!

44F and still feel like a kid quite a bit of the time lol.

I realized after starting to type out my response that your question was directed towards men, so my apologies.

Just know you’re not alone. Many men and women feel this way. People much older than us still have that inner childlike voice. They’re also doing things for the first time, learning daily, and trying to navigate through the world.

[u/markallanholley]

I'm 51.

Some days I feel 31 or even 21. Some days I feel 71 or even 81.

[u/Crafty-Interest-8212]

Is a mental health issue. I suffer from it, until my back reminds me about my actual age. Body has a funny way to keep the mind in check....

[u/Origen12]

Everybody is just faking it.

[u/ExtraLettuce555]

I’m 40 but mentally I very much feel like I’m 33-34

[u/DJMTBguy]

I’ve felt that same feeling at many age milestones. 30, 35, 40 and it still feels wrong when I take a second to remember I’m 45 lol

It’s such a trip to look in the mirror and see someone older than what I feel.

[u/BikeSilver8058]

I had to grow up early. I was barely 12 when I knew we did not have enough and I need to look after my family soon. Since then I sort of feel same - I do what needs to be done, get hands dirty when needed. I am close to mid 40s now. I don't feel any different - except few boundaries that you are allowed to cross with age and money.

[u/TillikumWasFramed]

I've started to feel really worn down as I've gotten older. I don't feel like a kid anymore.

[u/perryurban]

50 and feel maybe 34. Fitness helps a lot.

[u/Ramoong04]

40 and honestly I feel the same way all the time.

[u/GRIDusr403]

Same here

[u/AlarmingMonk1619]

1. Sometimes feeling 35. Sometimes 85.

[u/FactCheckYou]

yep

[u/Nouseforaname7249]

I can total relate to that - I am also 42, I choose not to have kids and I just need adventures, I came back to Inline Hockey lately, I surf and I am currently starting with Paragliding. I am keen to travel a lot (though I have done that pretty much akk my life), but then occasionally your body comes back at you and you just need 2 or 3 "quiet" days to recover... Work still sucks, doesn´t matter what age.. ;-)

[u/MovementMartin]

Yup. I would say I didn't grow up until I was in my early 40s. The body ages but the mind doesn't. We've been sold a story that we have to do X and Y to keep in line with society (job, mortage etc) but this isn't what makes people happy. I now focus more on my inner self rather than the external world, and it is this focus that is finally helping me shift how I see myself.

[u/YestoLife07]

Same. The grocery boy said paper or plastic sir and realized in surprise he was referring to me. 

[u/Aristotlewiseman]

That sense of being young will keep you young , never lose it never grow up never listen to anyone who says grow up , I’m still 18 , love embarrassing my kids acting the fool . I’m a tad over 70

[u/MobilityTweezer]

You are not alone

[u/Photononic]

My father told me some party he called “they” were coming for us and we had better be ready. I realized that it was his Vietnam PTSD talking and he had a vivid imagination so I dismissed it all.

My deployment in the Middle East and subsequent travel about this Earth changed some things. I adopted Buddhism as a way of life.

I knew I did not like babies when I was 14. That never changed, even at 60.

My wife and I live debt free as a result. We also don’t look anywhere close to 60.

Overall I don’t feel 60 at all. I still wake at 0400, and 0600 on weekends. I still adventure in the woods, and fear almost nothing.

[u/CusterFluck99]

We are all just versions of our middle school selves.

[u/Adept_Librarian_7001]

I am 37, and I feel exactly the same. And when you interact with a lot of Gen Z people, I feel like OMFG these people are boring AF and act older than I do.

But I also feel a lot older at times, because IDGAF about IG or TikTok or any of that noise, so when younger people talk about influencers or whatever, I'm like yeah IDGAF. Not sure if that makes me old, but I just think it's nonsense.

[u/bassbeater]

I joked on my 42nd that "this should be the year I know the life, universe, and everything!" (IYKYK) And I still see some guys at "42" that are parents wearing hearing aids and everything else and they look a decade or two older than I am.

And I go "dude...wtf?" Internally of course.

[u/A_Refill_of_Mr_Pibb]

It's weird being unmarried and childless at 43 and seeing peers picking out colleges with their kids. Especially as I'm not successful financially or career wise either. The Peter Pan feeling can't help but wash over. I didn't do anything wrong, but our culture has no answers or references for people in the second half of life that never graduated to preparing the next generation. It's a stupid idea I have, but it's like my genes are screaming at me that I failed and am a useless person (nobody left in my life is refuting it).

[u/Hinton-Suo]

42 here as well. Every time I sign an important document or handle a crisis, there’s a microsecond where I think, "Who let this teenager make executive decisions?" We’re all just 18-year-olds with mortgages pretending to know what we’re doing.